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☑Username; Chaera_Bomzy

☑Story (+link); erse and the erted

☑Main Characters (+pairings); Kyuhyum and Ryeowook (Kyuwook)

☑Genre(s); ?

☑Current Length (No of Chapters); One Shot

☑Rated?: Yes

☑Reviewer; kpopperforever

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Title; 2/5

I wouldn’t feel like reading this story simply by looking at the title, there are many other stories with similar titles. Also, the title gives away the whole story at one go.

Poster & Background; 3/5

You didn’t have a background. The poster was okay, in my opinion the white stood out a bit too much though, it hurt my eyes.

Description & Foreword; 7/10

I found this pretty clever after I had read the whole story. It finally made sense to me. But as a reader, I wouldn’t be tempted to read the story from the description. It does arouse a sense of curiosity and mystery, it’s really mysterious, so good job. It may help explaining slightly more, though, or being more descriptive.

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Creativity & Originality; 2/5

There are a number of similar, based fanfics. I’m not sure who copied who, or whether it was written by the same author, but this fanfiction is exactly the same, just a change of names.

Click here.

Plot; 10/20

There wasn’t really a plot…. It was more like a story with no start, middle, and end. No , no nothing. Just a ty scene. Which some people may like, but in reviews, it does not go down well with reviewers. Sure, everyone is fine with ty stories, but not a story that is entirely based on it. There needs to be some interaction outside of it, a separate plot or a side plot. It can’t just be the whole way through, that’s just a random scene out of the blue.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar; 19/20

This was pretty good, very minimal errors. However, there was a spelling error in the 23rd or so paragraph. You spelt Ryeowook wrongly. ^_^

Characterization; 10/15

Since this was a one-shot, I didn’t mark you that low for this, but there definitely has to be more characterization. All I got from the whole one-shot was that they were erted.

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Chapter Titles; 2/5

There was only one chapter, but the thing is that the chapter title was appropriate but sounded slightly cliche. It makes sense, but it would be better to call it something else, even just a simple number such as 01 would do.

Flow; 5/10

It moved way too fast for my liking, I understand that it’s hard to write a one-shot, but it was still very fast to me.

Writing Style (format + your style); 7/10

I was okay with your writing style, I’m not a fan of Super Junior and Kyuwook, but this story didn’t bore me, so it was good.

Extra & Notes;  (+)

I’m not a fan of Super Junior, like I have said, so while you were referring to the two as the “older and the younger”, I was very confused as to who was who. A better way would be to first clarify who is younger, such as “Kyuhyun, the youngest” or vice versa first. Overall, it was okay. Please don’t feel too disappointed, I’m pretty harsh. >_<

Total Score; ♡

67