STORY LINK

 

Title: 4/5

It relates to the story and interests me. It’s one reason I clicked the story in the first place! ^^

 

Poster: 8/10

The poster is cute~! I think it fits the story really well! No negativity here!

 

Description: 2/5

The description is a little detail-less and short, but it sparks some interest, making the reader want to read on.

TIPS: Maybe add a few details or something might help.

 

Foreword: 3/5

The foreword [the part you underlined ‘Plot’ captivated me more than the description. It was straight foreword and interesting!] It still wasn’t what I expected though. It needs a cliffhanger or a line to draw the reader in with their curiosity.

 

Characterization: 11/15

You gave a good sense of the main characters and what they act like. I enjoy how it’s a ‘you’ story~ Though a picture or really detailed description would be nice..but you do describe the character throughout the story, which helps. The only main reference for an image you gave was the main image (poster).

 

Format: 7/10

The format was great! No confusing highlights or fonts. The ‘*’ you used to show the character’s thoughts was OK. You could have italicalized (I found that word-which means to use italics-but the Microsoft word said it wasn’t a word, so I don’t know.) though, since they are thoughts. That might help.

 

Flow/Detail: 8/10

The flow went excellent! I could keep up and understand the story really well!

The details were good! Just the right amount! Though, your chapters were short, they were well written and great. You could have added more, though, because the chapters were so short.

 

Creativity/Plot/Originality: 6/10

I am a Teen Top fan, so I have read a good amount of fanfic based around them. Your creativity is great! I love the scenes you created and your ideas!

It’s original and I like how she’s a ‘fan’. Usually, the girl is a fan who falls for her bias (and he falls back) or she hates the group, especially him, and they still fall for each other.

As for the plot…it’s kind of too coincidental how when she first saw L.Joe onscreen, she thinks he’s a good rapper, then when the guard person asks if she’s a fan, she says ‘yes’, that she especially likes L.Joe. My point is, L.joe, is her main interest and it’s kind of too expectant. Adding the part where Chunji becomes interested in her really helps not center everything around L.Joe, even though she is getting really interested in him. Not all of her attention needs to go to him, in my opinion..make a twist or something. Maybe with Chunji. ;)

 

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 23/30

Now, onto this part…I found some typos and misspelled words along my way, which bothers me. Not too many, I must say, but there are a few. It’s nothing most readers would notice or even care to mention, but I notice. I read very carefully and anazlyze every word. So, I took off for that.

Your grammar is great, so no deduction there! Unless, I happened to miss something.

For vocabulary, your’s is easy to read and is not too big of words or misunderstandable. I like that! As for the Korean terms: you used them well and right. They are common, too, so there’s really no need to explain like some writers have to. Some writers go overboard and put Korean meanings the average reader may not know.

 

Overall: 72/100

 

Additional Comments:

This is definitely a must read! I enjoy every bit of it and your creativity throughout the story. It captures my interest and is really something I like!

I hope you are not offended by my review or hate it! I am just trying to help as best as I can. Please mention me in your foreword and paste either as a chapter of your story or in your blog. Make sure to also say you have picked this up in our Tag Box – or chat box, whatever it is called!) I loved reading this and will continue to!

 

Reviewer:

KissDromedaGirl