Username: W3ntchuuKrown

Story Title (&link): Into My Life

Main Characters (+pairings): RAhn Sunhee (OC), BTS, Lee Bona & Yoon Chanyoung

Genre(s): RomCom, drama, friendship, romance

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 20-something

Rated?: No

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

NOTE: Since you used GIFs in your story for reactions... I shall use them in this review!

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  1/5

    "Into My Life" isn't particularly eye-catching, and that's definitely not the reason I clicked on it. I think something else could fit better there... but seeing as the title basically says we're seeing into our OC's life (right?) and her friendship with Namjoo... and then the rest of BTS. This is a romcom with drama, centered around BTS and an OC, and focuses a lot on kakaotalk... Into My Life just doesn't seem as fitting as it could be.
 

Poster/Background;  5/5

    Trust me, I adore the poster and background and how they fit the Kakaotalk color scheme... but I'm so anti-yellow and my eyes hurt. ㅍㅍ; I'm sorry to say that, because truly, the yellow is eye-catching, but eye-burning as well. Although I wouldn't want you to change it because it fits so well! And I adore the poster endlessly because it's like it's their Katok ID image and Sunhee in the middle (as she is in the story) and I... just love the arrangement! I just... hate yellow with a passion.
 

    And... you go on an editing spreeeee. Geez Louise! /rolls
    I love this BG and poster much better because the blue softens the brightness of the yellow. And it feels better and doesn't hurt my eyes!

Description & Foreword;  8/10

    I love how short and to the point you are with the description... but you left out some words and made a grammatical error.
    "Your typical high school teen RomCom with a dose of drama!" could be better since it has the missing words and is rephrased in such a way. However, you can just change the 'You're' to 'your' and then add school behind high. Also... the yellow text... I know it fits, I do... but either put it as the other main color (brown) or go for black text throughout because extra yellow and extra colors so bright (I'll get to those in the Foreword part) is just... stabbing.

    FOREWORD:
    Okay... I love the teasers, but since you're telling us straight up that this is your average RomCom between her and BTS, don't put so many teasers that give away the story. We expect most of that... but don't show us! There could be plot twists and so much more and I feel the added amount of teasers is too much. Maybe the last four parts would work as a good set of small teasers because the others give a lot away for such small entries. You know?

_______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦_______________

Creativity/Originality; 5/5

    KAKAOTALK STORY! I'm so happy that someone did this. I haven't seen one, so I'm so excited to see this! Ahah... But I love Katok and use it a lot. So, to see a fun play on lives of BTS and this OC is just... precious, to say the least. I kept reading and reading and then thought about it and kept going. It's so cute! Though, yes this is a cliche story (as you said), I think your own creativity shines brightly, like the yellow throughout the story. You made this so well and I've enjoyed it oh-so much!

Plot;  18/20

    KakaoTalk, BTS, Ahn Sunhee an ordinary girl, in a mix of a RomCom with drama, appearances that are unexpected, love mishaps and triangles, kisses and disses, and lots of fun! It's common, but it's unique in the way that you've created it. You have turned my head upside down and I've found a love to find fics so entertaining again. I haven't read an entire fic in SO long! (Aside from reviews, which we do have a 10 chap limit if we want) and for you... I couldn't stop clicking "next"! You honestly don't know who Sunhee will end up with, or what will happen, and I like her relationship thing with V, but then again I feel bad for Jimin, and then I feel bad for Namjoon who has to be their therapist. Ahaha. This fic... this fic is one I'll treasure and read for a laugh! The plot is fun and twisy, but cliche and fluffy. It's a fic anyone could enjoy!

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   10/15

    Some grammar errors, but also the lack of dialogue correction. Sentences should end with proper things such as (. , ; - etc) even as a speaking sentence. You didn't have those a lot of the time and that's not a good thing. Also, most people don't smash dialogue together in such a way because it can confuse a reader's mind. Though some of the scripts smashed together were okay and I didn't mind how crammed it was, people shouldn't have to read it like that.

    As for this being a story mainly shown in pictures of text through Katok, I'm okay with most errors, but even then I think the main ones are lack of puncuation and cramming all the dialogue together. The detail outside is fun and loose, and I'd wish to see more of that, but I think it just works for this fic.

Characterization;   13/15

    Now, having a bonus chapter dedicated to Characters is a great thing! With so many, maybe people need to keep track. But for anyone, I'm sure we can still manage to recognize who's who. But all I see that's needed in this chapter is the pairing between the chara and the Katok BG. Even then, we probably don't need it.
   And how you have the small things for the charas... it's so dull that it looks unwanted and like I don't care to review the chapter or you wanted to arrange it. A simple character chart can be made and have the bgs and charas paired, so you could head in that direction. But aside from that, I don't see a need for the character chapter. And the info on what Kakaotalk is... you can put that in the Foreword somewhere. ^^

    Ahn Sunhee is a student. Ordinary girl who is searching for a high school romance. I cry internally because this fits so well with the story and I never go for cliches anymore, but I love how even her info is slam-in-the-face cliche and it's... cute. || she is so greatly written and through texts, to me, you see more detail in the personalities of people. She is cute, and fiesty, and very friendly. And I adore her so much... a lot more than I thought. At first, I swore this girl would be overly cute and I'd want to squish her like a bug...
    Namjoon is entertaining. He's a good friend. He's so cold-looking but a big teddy bear. He's also like Sunhee's big bro. || From how I see him feel bad for Jimin and have to deal with the two confessing to him-- I know that feeling! I am always like a parent, stuck in the middle of my friends as they confess or tell me things not to tell another close friend. I love how I can relate to Namjoon so, so well. ^^
    Taehyung, whom Sunhee falls for instantly, looks cold and serious, but has a square smile and is so... cute and hyper! But he still has that realistic feel because he gets surprised, or mad, or jealous, or curious.
    Jimin, the stalker of Sunhee, is friendly and adorkable. And I feel bad when he has tried a long time. You can relate his typical falling for the girl story to any RomCom, but it's still something that nicks at you. You want him with her, but then again, you want him with someone who can love him just as much back... you know? I love it!
J-Hope/Hoseok is so gosh darn energetic and happy and I'd like to punch him for that demeanor. Like- calm down, you are an adult, boy! And his relationship with Sunhee-! /laughs
    Jungkook is like a good brother, even though they see him as the baby.
    Yoongi/Suga is cool and calm and collected and I'm glad there's a calm one in the mix or otherwise I'd pull my hair out!
    Seokjin/Jin is the dad of the group. And I already knew that and expected it, but it's funny to see.

   Lee Bona and Yoon Chanyoung. I adore their characters so, so, so much! They make me laugh and the teasing seems friendly but sometimes, I'd like for Sunhee to punch them or spray something in their faces! Dear Lord- their couple-ness is... in the face and irritating at times. But they are sweet.

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5

    Cute little titles that fit each chapter in a summary of one word. "Bongji" - loved that one.

Flow;  5/10

     It's a fun fic! That's all I can say. And the pace wasn't too fast, although there were points were we switch all too quickly, and sometimes, even for your type of fic, it's not the best scene to have. Maybe add more detail to parts and have a transition from scene to scene if they're happening right after one another. If the scenes need a divider, that's okay. Otherwise, watch how you change scenes because you often rush it. But the overall flow is nice and steady and I'm not confused.

Writing Style (format + your style);  10/10

    The....the colors are just... too much! In the "REVIEWS" part in the Foreword, you highlighted with additional bright colors and I feel that's highly unnecessary. Your BG is already so bright and shining that it contrasts against the other colors... And then the dividers... is that peach or beige or something? Nonetheless, change the color. Please! The thing with your fic is that maybe some of these colors would be more acceptable if you bg wasn't yellow or your theme. Otherwise, the addition of bright colors for things is just... blinding.
 

_{And you changed the poster and bg so now i am left like-}
 

"Then the boy turned to face me which made me nervously catch my breath at the sudden eye contact. What is he going to do to me? Are they going to kidnap me? Are they going to sell me to the black markets? Sell my organs? I played all sorts of scenarios in my head."
     That's what I would say and I'm all smiles while some kind of psycho-Got7 thing happens. Your writing with this... 

Extra & Notes; (+10)

    Let me just...

Total Score; ♡

90

>> Reviewer Note; ♡

Thanks for the opportunity! <3 I'm actually really surprised with this... I usually HATE cliche fics about fluff and love triangles... and trust me, I'm harsh on those kinds of things. And I'm in no way biased to BTS, so there's something. But this was so enjoyable and I can't wait for your update! It was fun, cute, exciting, and made me giggle oh so much~! 사랑해용~