Username: TheSociableIntrovert
Story Title (&link): Snow White and her Seven Deadly Sins
Main Characters (+pairings): Sandara Park, Kim Jaejoong, Park Chanyeol
Featuring: -----
Genre(s): Angst, Horror, Romance
Current Length (No. of Chapters): 7 + Part I
Rated?: No, but has warnings and triggers for mentions of suicide, harm and depression.
Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl



_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5
I was automatically drawn to see what the story was about thanks to the title. Of course, many will think of Snow White, since that's what's in the title, but how it fits with the story and how it's so creatively beautiful... I adore it!
    But a good question to remind myself throughout the story is: Are there seven deadly sins to expect? What are they? Is this important?

Poster/Background;  5/5
    If this poster doesn't draw you in, I don't know what will! Her picture is broken and bloody and stunning. The title is etched in such a way, it's not as hard to see as the subtext featured; I love how they have it, but the whole '7' versus 'seven' with the title... you're not supposed to do that. Oh well, I guess. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, honestly. I like the '7' much better than the actual word. Heh.
    But, I love how the characters are featured and the monochrome plus red theme schematics going on. It's really a nice design and I'm stunned by it! And the backgroung goes with it, not against it. I'm glad to see that after so many stories going with contrasting backgrounds.

Description & Foreword;  10/10
   The description is short, sweet, and to the point. I like the idea that she's so ironic and the world placed her there especially for that reason. She's beautiful, but not on the inside, like we say about so many mean girls in movies. But with this, I get the vibe that people see her as sweet, or know she's twisted, but still feel she is so beautiful and welcoming.
    The quote - brilliant. New favorite quote. Ever. Because it's the truest thing. And now I expect even more, as a reader, to see her inner self and how those around her are so affected.

    LET ME LOVE YOU. I'll put this in your Writing Style, but first let me praise you here. You remind me of a man that goes by Lemony Snicket. Why? Because of how he narrates his stories. You put it to the point, and I love the honest, blunt cursing thrown in the mix! It's refreshing and not so innocent, like the story itself. And that feel of Lemony Snicket and how he always tells readers that if they dislike a certain type of story, put the book down - you're nailing it on the head and I'm giddy.
    And then after reading fully and getting my mind out of its happy gutter.... I'm just smiling and so drawn. As a reader (who isn't LS obsessed), I see this as a very rare, unbelievably great find in the dark, all too sappy stories wandering around the online shelves of AFF. Darling, I like your style, I like your pizzazz with this story. And it's only the foreword...
 

______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality;  5/5
    I screeched! Not of fear, but even in the first part you told us how the couple died and I wanted to fall to the ground in my dramatic state and scream how this is already looking like a gem in the sand and I'm getting to read it. End of story.
    Knitting the mouth shut. I smiled wide like some creepy killer witnessing their protege shine. That's one of my favorite things - I'm a horror geek, so don't think I'm too weird. But we see this featured in a few movies and it's always brilliant to think of how damn crazy it is to do so much damage along with A MOUTH KNITTED SHUT. Imagine the pain, the satisfaction of the killer. This horror fan is pleased.
    And with the true brilliance of horror, I found it so, so interesting to see a glimpse of this ghost-like figure taunting Dara; not just herself, inside her head... but the figure who sat by Chanyeol, and the figure that appeared before the beggar. It makes you wonder if it's Dara (how, with the beggar and all...) or if it's her imagination or some being that has made some promise, as mentioned, and Dara is trapped.
    This story is so complex, even though it seems so easy and simple to understand. There's hints of mystery and confusion all along the lines and I love how that is! I love seeing this based in the Phillipines and then Chanyeol wanting to teach Dara Korean. I love the amazing idea of this foreign country, that the real Dara knows well, and how we're encountering characters who aren't your typical cute and sassy Koreans. I love it!

Plot;  20/20
     I can't stop raving in my head! The plot is not even all mapped out by the seventh chapter (the last you've updated as of now) and still you understand what's going on, have an idea of what's to happen, and you have to sit here and wonder, "How will this pan out?" Because it's as if I know what might come of this relationship - of her life there at Bahay ni Sta. Elena, with those bullies, and the one person who is like her mother. But then again, I don't know. And that's what makes me love this even more. A lot of people reveal the plotlines too fast and the surprises can get weird and expected and now... now I'm not too sure what to expect. But I have a good idea of what I'm reading and the plot so far. I'm pleased.
    Also, you have got the gore, horror, angst, riveting words of description for how it feels to be insane yet sympathetic and very ferocious. Dara is described with a thousand synonyms that we could both play off of. And you show us her crazy, which is a lifeline for the entire story and plot.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   15/15
    Your entire writing so far is phenomenal! I love the adjectives (I'm a junkie with knowing fifty thousand ways to make a description, so I love how you are with it.) I love the way it's a masterpiece and I'm getting to watch as you paint it so gently, but with such a that I'm left gasping or smiling like a lunatic.
    The main thing to watch for is this: you keep spelling Sister Queenie wrong. I was chuckling at it, because you didn't mean to, and it's the only typos I could find. Trust me on this. I would see it and giggle and move on with reading. You have no lack of grammar skills and you're spelling is perfect. Your words carry out a note, like a beautiful song I can't get enough of, and that's the remarkable work of you. You don't know how much I enc
   


Characterization;   15/15
    Jaejoong isn't present yet, so I know there's loads more to come. But for now, let's see who's who.
    Sandara. Our leading lady who shines with both the glimmer of innocence and the shine of her fierce eyes. She's amazing to witness, especially since we see her thoughts periodically throughout the story. It's great to have that perspective and not be left in the dark. I like how you've done that. For me, I felt her pain, her uneasy feelings, her heart thumping against her chest all too fast because of this perky new kid. And I felt the anger thriving in her veins. I despise the trio and at one point, I caught myself asking, when is she going to kill them? I laugh at that. Your writing depicts emotions of the characters and a broad sense of who they are. And though this focuses mainly on Dara and her life then and now, we still see the change that you show and how she is sane, but not sane.
    For Chanyeol, he's bright and chipper. From the moment he graces the page, I smiled. I had a sense it was him, and then it became true. And I love how this personality of his is captivating in a way; he's like a Prince Charming, and I'm really worried that with all that's going on... that he's going to fall in to a trap and my heart will break. The story is building him up to be so protective and good for Dara, as we may think, and I'm struck with a giddy feeling of hoping this could be it. And I know... with a sunken feeling... that this is not going to end as I plan. Chanyeol is amazing, and his own person, and I'm glad to see that and feel his emotions so clearly, too.

    As for the bullies - you do as great with them and even minor characters, as you do with the main. They're shown as their true image, we see it and get the sense of the scene and we feel either one way or another towards them. And for me, I felt Dara's own opinions towards them at times and even felt the need to snicker over her remarks in her head at them. " you" is a very pleasant phrase that should eventually be used towards them.
 

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5
The chapter titles are simple, but at the beginning of each chapter is a little name for it, and a little subtext to get the feel. And I love it to the moon and back! I mean- it helps the story, it shows you more detail, and it's so simplistic, but befitting of the story and Dara herself.


Flow;  10/10
    Hands down, you've got the flow down to par as well as everything else. I'm seeing a great deal of flashbacks to then and then back to her white room, and I'm content with how those go because a lot of times because really don't separate scenes and flashbacks as well as they should. And since this story takes place in the past, but yet in the future at points, it's great to see each time and each persona and get transfixed and easily placed into one moment or the other.

Writing Style (format + your style);  10/10
    I'm so happy I finally decided to go review this. I thought from the title and poster it'd be interesting, then the description and foreword hit me and I was so hooked that I was done for. I have sat at my desk, head on palm, leaning as close as my vision would allow, reading. I was waiting for the bang, I was gliding over every word, wondering how this story would work. I was expecting a crazy, always murdering Dara, but was struck with this terrified, but devilish girl who saw things and felt so contradicted. And then trying to piece things together all while getting caught up in Chanyeol's and Dara's feeling were such a blow to my chest... I love your style. I envy it. And with this review, you're gettinga definite fangirl, I am so sorry.
    I just... your writing kept me reading. Your writing told me the backstory to a point, told me how she felt, told me that not everything is as it seems and that beauty is decieving, but so is reality. I'm expecting so much and will anticipate everything that comes after.
 

Extra & Notes; (+10)
Oh my. Oh my. Someone. Someone, please help. /dramatically falls to the ground
Aside from that, I'd like to note the fabulous and thrilling ride I had going through this story. On the first part (Proem), I smiled at the image featured above. I smiled at the literacy skills you have. I just... love how you have created a very sickeningly stunning tale of a girl who's crazy, beautiful, and just down right not our typical protagonist searching for love from Prince Charming. Thank you.

....I think you got the highest score I've ever given. Ohlord. *^*




Total Score; 110 ♡