One Night Can Change It All
by LPK726
Story Link



Title: 4/5

I like the title. It is interesting and relates to the story. ^.^

Poster: 6/10

Cute poster~ Though it seems like it needs a color background to it, instead of white.

Description: 4/5

I liked the description. It describes the basic idea of what is going to happen. I like that about it. So, I was interested to read on~!

Foreword: -/5

*No FOREWORD posted*

Characterization: 8/15

I say this to EVERYONE, so don't feel like I am pointing fingers; I am strict and harsh at times. Character wise, you described the (you) character in the description, which was OK. I got an idea of who this person is...

I don't really know the group in this, so I would like some kind of description when reading about a group I am unfamiliar with..

Also, you could describe the characters friends. That would be a little interesting since they do appear.



Format: 7/10

In the first chapter, I was kind of disappointed. As I continued the story, I saw your formating started to change...and for the better! This made me smile.

Flow/Detail: 7/10

They flow of the story went well~ I am happy with that as well.

The detail could have been a little more better. I like detail, period. Remember, when doing something, describe what you are doing, how you are doing it, etc. When talking to someone, describe your tone if need-be, describe how you feel about the conversation, etc.

Get my point?

Don't get me wrong, you have good details in this story. Just I expect more.

　

Creativity/Plot/Originality: 7/10

Creativity: Good. This pleased me. ^.^

Plot: I like the plot so far...very interesting and I love it!

Originality: I think every story I read, I have read something similar on here, because I read TOO many fanfics for my own good. Yes, I have read fanfics similar to this..but as usual, you turned it into your own. As long as you run the story with your ideas, your detailing, your opinions and thoughts, then it will go well and will be great!

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 19/30

Here we go with my favorite part of the review...beware.

The first chapter made me angry. I loved the idea of it, yes, but since I have trained my eye to point out every little mistake there is...I couldn't help but want to autocorrect every typo I saw. You didn't capitalize your 'i's. You had some punctuation errors. You mispelled.

Grammatically, you do good. Some things can be fixed, but otherwise, it's fine~!

Vocabulary was normal. Everyone's is normal. I say that because I like reading stories where the vocab can be read by everyone! Some try too hard and know too much and use words we all have to look up or will give a 'O_O' face to. So, you pleased me here. No big words makes me happy.

Overall: 62/100



Additional Comments:

Now, you are probably freaking out, thinking I gave you a low score. My scores even disappoint me, because if I really enjoy and like the story, I expect a higher score...which to me, 60s seem low, but truthfully, they are not.

It seems odd, since I know you now as a friend, and I hope you understand I judge harshly. It's what I do. Unless you think I don't then... *thumbs up*

I will continue reading and I hope you enjoyed my review...or not.

Also, your score is kind of high for someone who didn't have a review. Remember, with a reviewer, leaving a Foreword out means leaving points out for the review. Sorry~

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl