One Step..

by dubuonew2299

Title:2/5

The title didn’t draw me in and the ‘..’ makes it seem less professional. I’m not the greatest at suggesting title names, but I can try. ‘One Step’ really doesn’t show much reference for the story except for what you put in the Foreword, saying she is “one step away from a fairytale come true”.

Maybe… ‘One Step Away’…or something that has to do with the main point of the story-she has an arranged marriage to Joon.

Poster:1/10

Sorry for the low rating, but your poster isn’t that good. May I suggest you request a poster from us (Pandromeda)?

Description:3/5

From reading your descriptions in your story, I looked back at the main description of your story…and I was disappointed. It is OK, but I expect a little more. Something in there to draw me more in…

Foreword:4/5

Though it was a short Foreword, I liked it. I saw 1 typo I think.

All she's known is life is a boring mistake.

All she knows in life is a boring mistake. OR All she’s known in life is boring mistakes.

Other than that, I like it. Although it could probably use some more things in it.

Characterization:9/15

For the characters, I would like a description; maybe a few details about them, their names, ages, birthdays, ect. You mentioned that throughout the story, which is good-but I like having a list of the characters or have them fully introduced in the story..unless it is like a mystery or the person has memory loss and doesn’t know much about themselves..

Format:6/10

Here’s another thing I must talk about. When changing point of views, I find you should do one of these things:

Put the person’s name and POV beside it, centered and possibly in bold.
Have it centered and in either bold or italics.
Have it in italics and you can put ‘~’ like you do, but make sure to put them on both sides.

Something like that might help. The average reader may not think anything of it, but I do. So, try to fix that, please. Other than that, for formatting, I think you are good.

Flow/Detail: 7/10

The flow of the story goes good. It starts off at a good start, thought you could add a small back story or something to that affect. You detail well. Some places, you can detail more, but you do a good job.

Creativity/Plot/Originality: 8/10

Again, as I have said in (I think) a couple of my reviews: I read a lot of fanfics, so it’s not unusual for me to find stories that I have already seen a similar fic…which I have with yours, too. Though, I like how you aren’t doing a typical version of this idea.

The plot, I’m not sure of. You only have 2 chapters…so, I’m completely sure about what it is yet.

Your originality goes back with the creativity-I have seen it before, but you do your own thing with it. I thought it was funny when Joon fell (or more rather jumped) off of the roof to save his phone…though I kind of thought a 20 foot fall/jump could cause an injury of some sort. You did say his bottom was injured. Maybe you can feed off that, having him over using that injury and making her baby him and her refusing. I don’t know. I’m just throwing around ideas…

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:22/30

Ah~ my favorite part…(just kidding!)

I saw typos and incorrect grammatical errors. Your vocabulary is acceptable, but my major issue with this is: TYPOS. I’m not going to say much-just review your work before posting and make sure to use spell check and everything. J

Overall:62/100

Additional Comments:

I have enjoyed this so far…I hope you continue~ I think this fanfic could possibly end up good! I hope you like this~!

Reviewer:

KissDromedaGirl