Username: nightStar
Story Title (&link): Ready for Love (HunHan Version)
Main Characters (+pairings): HunHan - Sehun and Luhan
Genre(s): Oneshot, Romance, Fluff, HighSchoolAU
Current Length (No. of Chapters): 1 - Oneshot
Rated?: No
Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl
 

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5

First thought was: romance. And possible cuteness. Which after reading the story tags, I saw - indeed - that there was fluff in my midst. But I think the title fits all too well with the oneshot, so no worries there. Just capitalize "For" in the title and you're all set!
 

Poster/Background;  -/5 - nothing to rate even if I don't care for posters.

Neither. There was a GIF of HunHan at their finest, which is cute, and truthfully... I don't mind people not having posters for their stories. The GIF is cute, so you are okay.

Description & Foreword;  8/10

From "I'm On My Way" to this, I am pleased. I do like seeing quotes from the stories themselves, especially if they have a signifigance in the story itself or can basically describe what to expect. The first quote just screams "fluff" and I'm totally fine with that being the first thing I read. And even though I'm not a fluff fan, and I consider all fluffiness to be cliche and impractical, it's cute.

In the description we meet our main guy, too. Luhan. Though another tic I have, specifically the whole kingka/queenka persona, is displayed right in the description, I must assume that he is the true, blueblood, stereotypical Kingka - Oh Sehun. And from observation I see that Luhan is in love with him already.

And you have more fluffy gifs lying underneath that section. Which I don't mind, honestly, but I never am one for lots of gifs or fanpics or whatever.

Foreword:
First thing I'm hit with is the fact this is an entry in a writing contest! The picture is from the contest, I assume? It's a darn beautiful image though.
And then you go on to tell us this is a fluffy HunHan. Got it. And after all your author notes, we see more gifs. I think HunHan shippers may die from just seeing the two interact in such a cutesy state, but here I am, not caring to see all the gifs. Mainly because I feel one is enough... Hah.

_______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦_______________

Creativity/Originality;  2.5/5

Fluffy HunHan fics are out there by the hundreds, I promise you that. So I didn't expect this to be all too original, because it is a high school AU, filled with fluff and a Kingka who is besties with Luhan, and from Luhan's perspective you can already tell he loves his best friend. It's an inevitable plot and I've seen it over and over.

What stands out from the a-typical plots though is how you have created scenes I don't usually see - like concerts. But the fact I am not a fluff fan takes off for my views on the high school au. I love them oh so much and it's hard to think up ideas for all the drama you want because everything seems to already have been done, you know? I battle that as well.

Plot;  13/20

Like stated above, I see these types way too much, but for it to be in the fluff genre, I say it does fit well with the plot type and how you created things around it.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   9/15

From the last fic to now, I saw improvement with the details and insight into the worlds of the characters, but there was still more dialogue than actual story and it always saddens me. Even though I get a general gist of what's happening and you have done much better, I hope to see more detail in the future compared to what I've been seeing. Detail is key.

The vocab can still be improved, either using an online thesaurus or dictionary.

As for spelling, you always seem to get that right, so there are never worries there.

Characterization;   8/15

Kingka Sehun is one I see often, but here he isn't that stone cold, heartless, secretly soft guy. He is openly warm and happy, which is beyond a change for me. I never see Sehun just... kind. Though he is cute, which I see all too often, too, I expect it since this is a fluff fic.

As for Luhan, oh dear. I like him, I do. But that boy uses "totally" so much in this. And as this story is in his perspective it was hard to read at times because of how he talked. I think it would have benefited more to be in 3rd person, but this way we see more of Luhan through his perspective... even if it makes me cringe. Because aside the fact he is how he is, we still get dialogue from others. The only downside to it being from Luhan's point of view is that we can't really (or aren't supposed to) know personal details of other characters, only the way Luhan sees him since this is in his eyes.

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5

Oneshot, so I don't count this.

Flow;  6/10

It went pretty well; even more so than the last fic I read. I feel like it did go fast for a falling in love type of thing, but hey... this is fluff. It did go too fast for comfort, but it was sweet.

Writing Style (format + your style);  7/10

This writing style was in the form of Luhan, so just judging how you portrayed him was amusing, but uncomfortable. I don't mean to be mean or anything it's just... he reminds me of the prissy girls at schools or on dramas and I don't like those types so I don't like reading a whole thing in the eyes of those types. But for you to be able to write as him is refreshing. I like it.

Extra & Notes; (+5)

What was said on the last review mainly sums up everything I wanted to say, but you get exta points again, so yay!

Total Score; ♡

63.5

>> Reviewer Note; ♡

Like I said in a previous review, you have good ideas and how you write is really interesting, so I love to read what you have. I just try to help with strict criticism. ^^ <3