Username: eotteokhae8

Story Title (&link): R E D R U M

Main Characters (+pairings): EXO, OC, other idol cameos

Genre(s): Angst, Romance, Supernatural

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 2

Rated?: Yes

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5

So, being curious ole me, I decided to Google “Redrum” and after I did… I facepalmed because it is so obvious what it can mean and I sat there, looking at the poster and everything and couldn’t get my mind wrapped around the title. And I find it so clever that the title is just that! I think it’s a perfect fit for the story and the concept of a past plot that unravels into the story. Murder, anyone?

Poster/Background;  5/5

I adore the poster. It just screams “angst” and “plots” with all the characters there—I always love it when there is a good poster… Especially one that can actually relate to the story in such a sense.

The quote at the top is pure gold, too. Because it fits with the vampire lifestyle and hints at a theme to expect from Redrum. Overall, for just the feel it gives me… I love how they did this!

Description & Foreword;  9/10

The description gives just enough information to make you question the line of events that will potentially unravel in this story. It makes one curious to find out why the vampire spared her, and how now after two years and being a “bloodpet” if she’s any closer to finding out the truth. I really adore it. It’s simple, enticing, and even the little red cross goes well.

The foreword is a general A/N and credit, so no say here. ^^

______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality;  5/5

Baekhyun is always cute and outgoing, shy and smart, or something of the latter. Seeing him as one who despises the main girl, has to fall under Luhan’s command – even as a friend – and just be a general small enemy to Yunmi… I enjoy it. Especially how Yunmi reacts to him. It’s all the more amusing just imagining Baekhyun and Luhan like this, honestly. I haven’t seen these types in such a long time. Especially with vampire stories. This one is dark and laced with lust – the last good vampire story I read was nearly two years ago! So I enjoy this fairly much.

  And then the introduction to the other boys was quite intriguing in my mind because they’re all so well-established and seem so gentleman-like. So what time is this set in? It seems either that they’re all so fanciful in the way they live or it’s back when this type of language and casualties were the norm.

Plot;  18/20

  Vampires is a sensitive subject with me. Because Twilight brought out good things and gave so many writers ideas, but it also was a source for over-dramatized bloodlusting beasts that really didn’t have good plots. But for you, my dear- a vampire has killed her family, then she becomes a bloodpet and has to obey her Masters throughout time until she finds the one to murder. Not to mention her new Master is handsome and intriguing, but devilish when drunk. And his friend is absolutely awful. And then the love interest, and the plot twist with Minseok—I really like how even though it’s been two chapters, we see so much! Not too much, but just enough to grasp at the straws and beg for more!

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   14/15

First off, let me applaud you for the proper use of “irony” in this! So, so, sooo many people use irony in wrong ways and when I read that, I instantly smiled!

  I only found minor typos throughout. Besides that, you did really well in everything else. No need for more details, like most authors. You portrayed the emotions, not only from Yunmi, but the images of the others as well. And I really like that. It gives us an idea of the characters’ images and who they truly are, not just how Yunmi sees them.

  Like to see more detail on surroundings and maybe give a 3^rd pov (forgot the name) for some of the vamps. Seeing their emotions and how we see them through Yunmi’s eyes is great. But there are ways to approach things as a 3^rd pov writer: with secrets, seeing through our protagonist’s eyes; with more info, still focusing on her, but with more input into the others’ lives; and lastly the clear view of everyone. I don’t want the last, because that would ruin it. But I request a little more of glimpses into why the vamps are the way they are, and maybe scenes from Yunmi’s past – since she’s missing her family so much..? You don’t have to follow this, honestly. Just my thoughts.

Characterization;   13/15

Like I stated above, I love how you are creating them in the story. The lesser important ones are given small details, and the ones we figure out are important come in with grace and not too much of detail. I like it this way. We get to see how Yunmi sees them, and then the hidden emotion behind their stone-cold eyes and bodies.

   And I states above also how I like your portrayed of Baekhyun. I do like the others quite a lot, too, because I don’t like seeing the typical, overused EXO boys. Baekhyun is bottled up with anger towards Yunmi. Luhan lusts over Yunmi. Sehun does too, but he seems a bit more gentle. Minseok seems kind and smart. Tao seems trustworthy. And lets not forget the “Kim idiots”. They seem like perfect brothers in this, compared to anything else! I never see the two as “brothers” and here… it just works. As for our lead: Yoo Yunmi. I do like her. She is drained from the murders a couple years ago, and it still shows. But we also see that despite her stagnant hate towards vampires, she has some attraction to Luhan, and Sehun, for now. And even if it’s something she denies, she feels it. And how she likes the mansion – I laughed because I would probably be the same way if I were her! It’s just… I love the characterization here.

  I shall add though that Luhan drunk is totally fearful and how Yunmi doesn’t wish to upset him with the truth of him hurting her… it’s sympathetic.

And Minseok—plot twist!

   The reason for the 13 is because I actually wish to see a bit more detail on the vampires – like Sehun’s motivation other than her being interesting..? And who Junmyeon is beside Minseok. All I image is just a vamp standing by Minseok and thinking so much like Minseok. I see him as a place holder. And I think Baekhyun is probably the only one whose direct opinions are pointed out a lot. I think I wouldn’t be so judgy on them if this already had progressed past two chapters, so probably ignore the fact I’m impatient on knowing more of everything. ^^

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5
I like how you actually don’t title them. I think it fits the feel better.

Flow;  10/10
It was actually perfect, in my opinion. Only two chapters so far, but the flow of them is actually quite good! You are rushing over days or weeks, and you’re letting the events unfold in such a good manner that—I just like it.

Writing Style (format + your style);  9/10

All is well with how the formatting goes. I love the little red crosses to go in between parts.

  And your style is just great. I never know what to expect with people I haven’t read before, or with those who have good plots—because sometimes the writing isn’t as good as you thought. But with yours, it was much better! The portrayal of characters was great. My only thing is I’d like to see more of the world around Yunmi- maybe that’s coming. But for now I’ve seen the mansion, and lots of dialogue. I’m expecting great scenes with your style and how you write it all out.

Extra & Notes; (+10)
  Uhm, safe to say that I am hooked on this like an addict. I really did enjoy reviewing this story and I hope that there is always going to be the amazing flow and information that you put in to this. Have a lovely day!

Total Score; ♡

1 0 4

  Brilliant, lovely~! I am a bit more leaning towards favoritism on this, even with a Reviewer aspect. This is well written in the beginning and the development should be great – so I have high hopes! ㅎ