Username: amusingmurdermachine

Story Title (&link): The Intricacies of Gift-Giving

Main Characters (+pairings): ChanStal (Chanyeol & Krystal)

Genre(s): comedy, fluff, drama

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 3 +ongoing

Rated?: no

Reviewer: Moony_Kat

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5

This title definitely sparked the interest for me. And maybe it’s the word “intricacies” that drew me in more than anything else. I like it, really! It made me think of something bubbly for some reason, something that even though it’s supposed to be all fluffy and perfect, goes badly for the main character.

I’m giving it full points since it’s not a title I’ve come across still now and even though it uses a pretentious word, I still felt drawn by it.

Poster/Background;  3.5/5

Keep it simple, keep it neat. Love the simplicity of it and how yet, it shows the exact picture you start from: a happy couple. I like the way the designer played with the pictures of Chanyeol and Krystal making us believe they’re really taken from the same pictorial.

Something’s bugging me though: it would have probably been better if they would have made a version of a higher quality, because as it is, the poster looks poorly exactly because of the definition used. And then there’s the quote, beautiful, but wrongly placed in my opinion.

Description & Foreword;  9/10

The description is practically a description of the story. Not something it would usually attract me since I’m more into more dramatic  types of descriptions, but I’m giving you the credits for keeping it neat. Also, I’m not quite that fond of the playlist usage.

The foreword is a completely different discussion now. I simply love it! It has the perfect flow and it’s somehow hilarious if you imagine it scene by scene, thing which made me grin all the way through. Love how you already outlined your characters to the point of making them just as real as our neighbours.

Good job!

______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality;  5/5

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s the whole fandom that thinks this is one of the most original approaches of an OTP that I ever saw! You took this little and transformed it into such a beautiful piece that I cannot stop from praising. It’s really beautifully written, the choice of words almost perfect and the way it makes itself room inside the reader’s head and heart being one of the things that made me fall for your story.

Plot;  19/20

It’s simple and yet breathtaking. I wouldn’t trade this story for any of those featured on the main page to be sincere! Your plot deals with an everyday situation, something that could have happened to you or even to one of your readers and that makes it so much more appealing to me!

At first, after reading the foreword, I thought it was going to be mainly about how Krystal would end up demanding the moon and the stars from her boyfriend. But it’s not like that. It’s simpler and so much more beautiful.

The only reason why I can’t give you full points here is the fact that it’s not the first story that deals with the sweetness of a couple.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   15/15

It’s perfect, I swear! I don’t think I’ve ever read a story with top notch grammar till I read your story! And apart from a couple of typos that aren’t even worth mentioning, everything is flawless.

Characterization;   14/15

It’s like you plucked out two stars from the ocean of Korean, hot and in trends idols and placed them in this tiny universe they then transformed it for themselves.

Chanyeol resembles the super funny guy he is in front of the cameras and yet his sweetness makes you turn all giddy on the inside and gains some characteristics that yet define him as your creation rather than the idol he really is.

On the other hand, Krystal is completely opposite from how I know her at least. And despite appearing witty and bratty in the beginning, you gave her the needed layers to make her sound real and as taken from a memory of yours.

What I like about the two is the fact that they’re real: they have thoughts and act upon them and feelings that differentiate them from who they are in reality. In your story, is not only “Chanyeol did this”, “Chanyeol said”, “Krystal walked”, but there is more to every single one of their actions. Like in a movie! You perceive the character not only by its visuals and actions, but by its feelings and inner talks as well.

The only thing I would change a bit if it were me writing this story, it would be the one-dimension-development of Chanyeol. He’s too much set on the sweet, romantic side that you can’t really perceive him as humanly reasonable. That’s the only thing I’d work a bit on.

Haha, does it even make sense what I’m saying here?

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles; 4 /5

There’s nothing wrong with them, they fall in perfectly in my opinion. And I quite find them funny and interesting as they don’t resemble the usually style of chapter titles.

But, I would still capitalize them. Your story isn’t formal, I get that. But yet, there are some rules, such as proper capitalization of titles and names, that should be followed no matter the genre of the story.

Flow; 8 /10

It’s almost perfect. I had no problem in following your characters and yet I felt like you’re rushing them a bit? For example, it’s interesting how fast Krystal seems to get over Chanyeol’s mishap. I mean, let’s get real here, she’s a woman, right? And we tend to get upset over the smallest things. Not to mention something like Chanyeol did!

Writing Style (format + your style);  10/10

I like your writing style because you kept the events real and didn’t go overboard with them. You’ve detailed deep feeling for the readers to understand in just three chapters and that’s not an easy task, so I’ll give you the credits for that!

Extra & Notes;

Awesome stories are awesome! And I have the feeling that yours is one of those little gems AFF hides in the ocean of badly written stories :) I enjoyed reading it and I hope you’ll find time and strength to complete this little story of yours^^

One thing to keep in mind: it’s unprofessional to use hyperlinked words to help your descriptions. I wanted to point this out here and not elsewhere since I don’t consider it that important compared to other things like plot, characterization and grammar.

Thank you for applying to Pandromeda’s Official Review Thread and I hope you found my review helpful at least a little bit! ^.^

Total Score; ♡

92.5 points