Username: KennyV
Story Title (&link): Labyrinth For Liars
Main Characters (+pairings): Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Sehun and Tao
Genre(s): Drama and Romance
Current Length (No. of Chapters): Prologue (On-going)
Rated?: No
Reviewer: thelittleluhan

      _______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title; 5/5

First of all, I love your title. It is very alluring and demands attention, which is what titles are

meant to do. It feels very mysterious, and looking at it I want to find out what the story entails,

how it is going to be carried out, what will be the big twists, etc. It leaves a lot to think about, and

I’m very interested in how your story relates to the title as for now it is still vague (having only

the prologue so far).

Poster/Background; 3/5

Your poster exudes mystery, like a poster for a horror movie. Though it isn’t anything especially

eye-catching, I feel that it does do its job as a preview to your story.

From the font of the title to the quote “Don’t play by the rules. You have to make them.” I’m

really feeling like this is more of a horror/game type of story, not a drama or romance as you had

it tagged.

Description; 4/5

(Note: I did not mark the foreword as it was more of an author’s note than an actual foreword.)

I like your description. It gives the sense that the story will somewhat revolve around regrets and
the ‘what ifs’ of certain situations.
I got a little confused with this sentence: “Unfortunately, here you are now, feeling bitter as the

entire classroom is filled with couples.” Initially I thought that you were addressing me (a.k.a

your reader) and wondered if this was actually a story that involved an OC, but then it turned

out it wasn’t and the confusion was cleared up with the last few sentences of your description.

I noticed a few mistakes in tenses which can easily be fixed but other than that I think this is a

very gripping description.

    ______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality; 4/5

It is a little too early to judge whether your content is creative and/or original. I’m still unclear

on how this story will go but from what I predict from your prologue I think that this will

be a rather creative story, it definitely has the potential to be. You’ve already moulded your

characters to ones that stand for themselves, and don’t seem like a ‘sibling’ or ‘twin’ of another

character from another story so good job!

Plot; 14/20

I gave you just a bit over the half way mark because I think there’s a lot of potential in this plot.

Although the drama and the romance haven’t kicked in yet, I am getting a feeling of mystery and

horror which I’m not sure is what you are going for. Going by the prologue’s plot, it drew some

curiosities which I would definitely like to find out about in the story’s future instalments.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar; 13/15

I have no qualms whatsoever with your spelling and vocabulary. They’re perfect. Your grammar

is too but sometimes you do make mistakes in your tenses. Since you are primarily writing in

the past tense, it would be good if you kept this consistent. Although it’s small and not very

noticeable I would still encourage you to go over your work and edit it.

Characterization; 13/15

Your characters are great. There’s a certain individuality in each of them, especially Baekhyun,

and I really like that. However, Junmyeon being rich ... now that’s a little cliché but it’s a cliché

that can be tolerated I guess. You still have a long way to go to attain that full mark because of

the current length of your story, so I just gave you a 13~

   _______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles; 5/5

The title fits but somehow feels disconnected from the content of the prologue. Since the title

suggests an explanation with: “Why We Didn’t Talk Again” I thought that I would get something

to justify that, and I guess I did, what with Junmyeon’s disappearance, but it did leave me

wondering what else could have been added to the answer of ‘why?’ Of course, I understand

that you can’t give away absolutely everything in the prologue so yeah, I’m probably just talking

nonsense.

Flow; 10/10

Didn’t notice any problems in the flow. The scenes fit together very well so good job.

Writing Style (format + your style); 10/10

Your writing style is very easy to read which I want to commend you for. Some scenes were dark

and mysterious, others were a little comical (like the one with Junmyeon and the mothballs – I

thought that was genius), and some felt just right.

Extra & Notes;

I’m looking forward to how your story plays out. Sorry if I was a little confusing in this review.

Total Score; 81/95♡