Private Dancer

by Moony_Kat

Story link: Private Dancer

TITLE: 3/5

           I'll be honest. If I was just randomly browsing through the searches looking for a "quick fix" read, I don't think I would have clicked on this story immediately. But because it relates to how the two characters met, I won't dock too much from you.

POSTER: 9/10

              Seeing that the poster is made by a graphic shop, I'm not particularly surprised, but I do like it ^^

DESCRIPTION: 2/5

           I see you tried going for the "less is more" approach. I would have maybe preferred a little more detail in the "he" part so the "she" part can speak for itself.

FOREWORD: 3/5

           It's a good way to lure the reader in. But for lack of a better word, it seemed really tamed for a story I was expecting to contain a little more censorable material.

CHARACTERIZATION: 13/15

           How you maintained each character's personality throughout was really impressive. The story was pretty up and down for me, but even the minor EXO characters still maintained. I'm a er for strong-willed characters. But the reason I docked the two marks was because I was a little upset at how the female lead turned vulnerable and then…well…"normal"  after having such a dominant and feisty image. I would have liked her to begin strong and end strong as well. Sorry, I'm struggling to word things at the moment…

FORMAT: 10/10

           Format was fine. Pretty consistent throughout. Not much else ^^

FLOW: 7/10

           Again, being honest, I was confused in some areas. Between chapters you jumped a lot of time spans and scenes that I almost had to re-read the chapter to find out where I missed details on what. But you saved yourself each time with a plot twist ;P Ironically, those put my mind at ease ;P So, no terrible marks, but it was a bit of a rollercoaster reading this fic.

CREATIVITY/PLOT/ORIGINALITY: 8/10

           I'm a huge EXO fan, but I'm not Sehun biased. However, from time to time, I managed to forget that this female lead was older than him! I really usually don't like Noona-dongsaeng pairings, but this…PHEW! This blew my mind! Like…it was so wrong but right kind of thing. Haha! And honestly, I know it's hard making an angsty romance story 'original' but I commend you for the hard work ^^

SPELLING/GRAMMAR/VOCABULARY: 15/30

           I think it's safe to assume that you don't proof read much. I found a lot of problems with your tenses and a few fair typos in each chapter. The reason I'm being a little harsh about this is because the errors were, unfortunately, quite frequent.

OVERALL: 70/100

Additional Comments:

           You're lucky the plot twists saved this fic! I was waiting and waiting for the kicker, and boy was I happy when it came! And with one after another, I declared myself a happy reader =) I did, actually, almost lose hope in you, but you pulled through nicely ^^

Reviewer

hotaznspice