Chapter 54 – Like yesterday.

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It was hard for you to keep your head up in school today since many of the students keep talking behind your back, but with the help of Hyuna you’re able to overcome it. Class ended for you and you quickly packed your bag before any students make fun of you again.

Hyuna wanted to bring you out to somewhere but seeing your faceless expression, she decided not to disturb you so you can rest your tangled mind, even though she knew you have moved on.

In the bus on the way back home, you sat down near the window and stare at the outside scenery as the bus driver continues to drive. It was hard for you to move on.

Yes, you tried but all of that was pretense since you don’t want to be of anyone’s burden. You pretended to be happy on the outside but only god knows well on how you are actually feeling deep down in your heart. It is hard to move on in life. It is hard to move on when you have to suddenly say goodbye and never see that one person ever.

You loved him. He loved you but that will never last forever, you thought since all of his family disapprove both of you to be together since your child is not his.

The peace yet sad atmosphere breaks when you received a call from an unknown number. Of course, you hesitate to answer it but you have to answer it if maybe that’s an emergency call from someone.

“Hello?” You started the conversation.

The person on the line said something which makes your eyes widened.

“Neh.” You replied her and hang up the call.

“What’s happening?” You bit your lips, knowing nothing to do.

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“Hyung…” Aiden called Kai, who fetched him from the childcare center. Kai stopped his ice cream and look at the little child.

“Appa, where did appa go?” Aiden asked Kai, but didn’t allow Kai to answer. Aiden gives his popsicle to Kai and to help him hold it while Aiden get something out from his bag. “Hyung, look at this.”

Aiden takes out his sketchbook and open to the page that Kris previously wrote his name on it, not allowing Aiden to show it to you.

Aiden grabbed back his popsicle while Kai have a good look at it, “What is this?” Kai asked for confirmation.

“That day, appa come and see Aiden. Appa said if Aiden get married, Aiden needs to call him and let him know. Then, appa write his name on Aiden book. Appa said Aiden must not show omma, so Aiden show hyung.” Aiden innocently his popsicle after explaining it to Kai.

“Hyung…” Aiden hold Kai’s hand and gulped, “Aiden want to talk to appa.”

Kai was dumbfounded. This little boy here is always thinking about Kris even though how long this incident has happened. Whatever that comes out from Aiden’s mouth, is all about Kris.

“Aiden-uh, have you forgotten about what you promised me? You will never say anything about your dad anymore right?” Kai asked Aiden whether he remembers the promise.

Aiden’s eyes turned downcast and he pouted, slowly taking back his little sketchbook, “Other friends have appa but Aiden appa is gone. Every time when teacher talked about omma and appa, Aiden want to talk too but Aiden appa is gone, so Aiden cannot talk about omma and appa, like other friends do.”

“Hyung…” Aiden left his off the bench and stand up holding the sketchbook in one hand and his popsicle on the other, “When Aiden is big like hyung, Aiden want to find appa.”

Kai forced a smile and give his son a hug, ‘I’m sorry, son. I should have known better from the start that I should be the one who is your father not Kris hyung.’ He apologized to the little kid mentally while giving Aiden a hug, hoping that Aiden will calm down a bit.

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Walking down the busy street of Seoul, your tears that you promised not to let it fall, fell. Your arms swayed, simultaneously, back and forth and your legs seemed like you were being dragged instead of you walking.

Luckily, you were walking at the pathway of the road or else, an accident could happen since you weren’t paying attention on where you were heading to.

Thirty minutes ago…

When you received a call from the unknown number, you answered it, scared if it was an emergency call from someone.

“Hello?” You said.

“Hi, I’m Mimi. You’re Ara, am I right?” The other person on the line asked.

You nod your head and answered yes at the same time.

“Can we meet at Sweet Coffee and pastry café at four later? I have something to pass to you.” She said.

Before allowing you to answer her, “I’m wearing blue blazer and pink skirt. Don’t be late.”

You answered and hang up the phone.

After all the hustle, you finally arrived at the café she stated just now. You approached the lady who is wearing a blue blazer and a pink skirt, “Hello, I’m Ara.”

She stands up and smiled at you, looking at you still in your school uniform, “Have a seat, please.”

Waiting for her to say her reason on how and why she wants to meet up with you even though this is the first time you saw her.

“I’m sure you know why I am here to meet you?” She asked. You shook your head, signaling her that you didn’t know what happened.

“I feel pity for you. I’m Kris friend. He called me and ask me for a favor.” She took a break from talking and sip her Iced Americano.

“He wants me to send this to you.” She ped her branded handbag and take out a piece of envelope.

“Coincidently, I am here in Seoul because I was send here to work and when Kris knew I am coming to Korea, he asked me for this favor.” She pass the envelope to you.

She grab a hold of your hand on the table and caressed your hand.

“He…” She started but paused. You look at her with your sad eyes but she avoid it.

“It may be awkward for us to be like this even though this is our first meeting but Kris said he wants…” She gave up. Mimi push herself back and lean her back on the chair.

“I can’t do it. Just read the letter and you know what I mean.” She stands up and pat your shoulder before she left.

Slowly, you unfold the small paper inside the envelope which also contains two cd.

It said…

Honey, I miss you.

I know all of this happens because of me, because of my family. If not because of them, we would have been together now because I’ve promised myself not to leave you and Aiden by yourselves but I was forced too.

Love is not easy, honey. I rather leave you than I marry another girl while you still being my wife. I wanted to only have one wife since I was young and I knew it was you but it shattered eventually.

I miss combing your wet hair after you finished your shower.

I miss watching you eat whenever you’re hungry.

I miss seeing you back whenever you tidy up the kitchen and when you cooked me dinner.

I miss seeing how sweet you are when kissing little Aiden’s cheek.

I miss every moment I spent with you.

You may hate me now, I understand but please If fate allows us to meet again in the future, acknowledge me even as a long-lost friend of yours.

I didn’t want this to happen but god has made this happen and I couldn’t turn back time.

It seems like it is only yesterday when Aiden was born and it seems like it is only yesterday when I first met you in high school…

Inside this envelope has two cd that I want you and Aiden to hear.

You don’t have to reply to me. I just want you to know that I’m healthy and fine in Canada.

Please take care of yourself and Aiden as well. Eat on time and drink a lot of water. Do not cry when you’re sad, instead try to smile and remember of happy times.

Socialize around and meet new friends.

If by any chance, you’ll meet a better guy, be with him. I am your past, maybe not your future.

This may be the first and the last letter you got from me.

I will never forget the memories that we shared as if it happened just yesterday.

I love you, Lee Ara.

Sincerely, Wu Yi Fan, Kris.

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Night time falls. Aiden were already asleep after you put him to sleep earlier this night.

You went to your room and your computer, curious on what is the content of the cd.

Then, you plucked in your earpiece into the earpiece hole on your laptop, so that Aiden won’t wake up at the noise.

Carefully and slowly, you put in the cd on the slot and wait for it to load.

You thought it was going to be a video but it is just an audio.

The first cd that you listened to was for you since Kris labeled your name.

It’s a song.

You’re the one…

You’re the only one for me…

The way you smile, it makes me happy.

The day we met still lingers down my memories,

 Never will I forget those moments.

When we vowed to each other, I knew you were truly the one…

I knew I have to take care of you and our love…

Whenever you hold my hand, it feels warm and safe knowing that you’re by my side…

Holding your hand makes all my fears go away…

Let me love you with all my heart and promise that I wouldn’t go away…

Can I be your shoulder for you to lean on?

Can I be the one who will hear your complains?

Can I be the one who wipes your tears?

Can I be the one who will put our marriage ring on your finger?

Can I be the one who will love you forever while can you be the one who accepts me?

It is a song Kris composed and made while he stays in his room in Canada, not doing anything else except being on his guitar.

Your eyes form tears and eventually it fell. The song was perfect. The lyrics were perfect but you know it will never come true again.

You kept your heart strong and listen to the next cd that is for Aiden.

For you, mum.

Oh mother, my eyes swells when I think of you.

Watching your calm face when you’re sleeping.

The love that you gave is true and pure.

Even though you felt bitter and sad,

You didn’t gave up or feel bored taking care of me, your son.

From when I was a baby till now.

I couldn’t repay all the things that you’ve did to me.

Only god can bless your live.

Please forgive me for all the mistakes I have done.

Your blessing is all I ever need when I’m alive.

You thought me to love, to read, to speak and to be patience.

You’re like a light that leads me through the dark times in my life.

You’re amazing, mum.

I love you, mum.

It was also composed for you by Kris but he made it for Aiden so he can sing and play it on guitar to you when Aiden is much older.

At the end of the song, Kris made a small note for both you and Aiden.

“Appa may not be there when the day you sing this for omma, but both of you will always be in my heart no matter what happen. I love you.’

Tears begin to fall again.

 You failed.

You failed and broke your promise that you will never cry again.