(Continued)

“Yong Junhyung, don’t screw around with me! Where the hell are you?” Hyunseung yelled after ten minutes of futile searching. His boyfriend was nowhere to be found, and although his possessions were still in the house, his shoes and wallet were missing. Tears streamed down Hyunseung’s cheeks as he sank down onto the ground, his legs unable to support his body any longer.

Was this was Junhyung had meant by ‘telling him the truth’? If it was, then Hyunseung wasn’t having it. Somewhere in his mind, he knew why Junhyung left. He just couldn’t believe that Junhyung, the guy who changed completely for him, would break his promise. Nonetheless, the tears kept falling, and Hyunseung could only stare at the cyclamen that Junhyung had left behind.

Even if he didn’t want to believe that Junhyung left, he had to. The cyclamen was a symbolism of goodbye and resignation, and it was perfect for the situation. Hyunseung knew that Junhyung left in order to keep him and Ilhoon safe. Junhyung had resigned to his fate, and this was his goodbye to Hyunseung and Ilhoon.

It all made sense to Hyunseung now. He finally understood why Junhyung had been spacing out, crying and breaking down and just being upset. He also understood why Junhyung had kept repeating that he loved Hyunseung and Ilhoon a lot, last night. Everything clicked in place now that Junhyung had left, but it was too late. Hyunseung knew that. And it just made everything hurt more.

Hyunseung had honestly never felt more alone in his life. He looked around the house, feeling his heart ache more and more because everything reminded him of Junhyung. Wherever he looked, he could imagine Junhyung standing. It hurt so much that Hyunseung could only curl up on their bed and cry, his hands cradling his stomach protectively. Hyunseung didn’t want to be in their house anymore, but he couldn’t even find the strength to make his way downstairs.

“Junnie…” Hyunseung sobbed. He could still smell the remnants of their lovemaking from the night before, as well as Junhyung’s smell. There was nowhere in the house that Hyunseung could be without being reminded of Junhyung. Hyunseung tried desperately to shut his thoughts out, but it was of no use. It was impossible to ignore the fact that Junhyung had just left like that.

Did we mean so little to him? Wasn’t there any way he could’ve solved the problem without leaving?

The more he thought, the more Hyunseung cried. He was only broken out of his thoughts when the bedroom door was slammed open, and he heard Doojoon and Yoseob’s worried voices asking him what was wrong. Looking up at the couple, Hyunseung whimpered and shook his head before dissolving into tears once again.

Doojoon took that as his cue to pull Hyunseung into his embrace, hushing his best friend and patting his back comfortingly. Yoseob, seeing that he should leave the two alone, went around the house and tried to figure out what happened. He and Doojoon had woken up hearing Hyunseung screaming and shouting for Junhyung. They had immediately washed up and dressed before heading upstairs to see what was wrong.

“Hyunseung, what happened?” Doojoon asked gently. Despite the fact that they constantly teased each other and had their disagreements, the two were still childhood best friends and they worried about each other. The last thing Doojoon had expected to wake up to was Hyunseung shouting, sure, but he knew right away that he had to be there for his best friend.

Hyunseung hiccupped, looking up at Doojoon and managing to whisper “He left.”

Doojoon decided to ignore how broken his best friend sounded, because what was more shocking was the fact that Junhyung left. He’d seen how the ex-criminal looked at his best friend, and to be honest Junhyung had to be the person that loved Hyunseung most. Doojoon didn’t think that even Hyunseung’s parents loved him that much. He knew that Junhyung had to have a very, very good reason for leaving his pregnant boyfriend behind. But he also knew that now wasn’t the time to ask about that.

“It’s ok,” he said instead. “Everything will be alright.”

Hyunseung only continued to cry.

----------------------

Yoseob had called Heechul, explaining the current situation and telling him that none of them would be able to go in for work. He also helped Hyunseung apply for leave for the next few days. Heechul wasn’t too happy about it, because he had to find someone to stand-in, but he understood. He had, in return, told Yoseob that Junhyung actually texted him earlier, saying that he was quitting. Heechul had been surprised and slightly annoyed, but was too tired to call and demand an explanation. He’d wanted to question Junhyung in person. Clearly that wasn’t possible, now.

Hyunseung had managed to cry himself to sleep about two hours later. Doojoon had to quietly and slowly leave the room, shutting the door and plopping down on the couch next to Yoseob. The couple sat in silence, not wanting to accidentally wake Hyunseung up. Yoseob was really just glad that Doojoon was still with him. He wouldn’t have expected Junhyung to ever leave Hyunseung, but sometimes things happen that they couldn’t control. Yoseob was going to enjoy every minute he had with Doojoon, because who knows when something will happen to either of them.

“Do you know why he left?” Doojoon asked softly after some time. Yoseob sighed, shaking his head and looking at the yellow post-it note he’d found. It was hardly a clue. The flower, too, wasn’t of any help because neither Yoseob nor Doojoon were good with flower symbolisms. Doojoon sighed as well, looking over at the bedroom. “Seung’s not taking this well. I’m really worried about him.”

Yoseob rolled his eyes slightly. “I wouldn’t take it well either, if you left. But we can’t keep taking off days until hyung’s better. We need the money, and you know it,” Yoseob pointed out, albeit guiltily. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Hyunseung, but the fact was that Yoseob wasn’t going to be able to work any time after giving birth, and he didn’t want Doojoon to be too financially burdened. “Is it possible if you call Hyunseung hyung’s family?”

Doojoon nodded, already pulling his phone out and dialling Geurim’s number. She picked up after just a second, almost as if she had been expecting a call. “Geurim-ah, are you free now?” Doojoon asked. “You are? Then is it alright if you come over to our apartment building? Thanks.”

Yoseob looked over at his boyfriend, and Doojoon told him that Hyunseung’s sister was on her way over. Yoseob nodded before saying, “I’m starving.” As random and irrelevant as that was, it was already past nine and really, Yoseob was just hungry. Hyunseung was probably hungry too. It was just a matter of whether or not he was able to stomach anything.

“I’ll order in,” Doojoon stated. He didn’t want to leave Hyunseung and Yoseob alone, because his best friend was extremely upset and he wasn’t going to risk his boyfriend’s safety. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Hyunseung not to hurt Yoseob, but who knows what could happen when Hyunseung was emotionally unstable? He didn’t know, and he didn’t intend to find out.

“Japanese?” Yoseob asked hopefully. Doojoon chuckled and nodded. After ordering in enough food for the rest of the day, Doojoon and Yoseob settled back into comfortable silence. Both were engrossed in their own thoughts about what happened to their best friends. It was only sometime later that Yoseob finally asked, quietly, “You won’t leave me, right?”

“Of course not,” Doojoon assured. “Besides, we haven’t found out Junhyung’s reason for leaving.”

Sighing, Yoseob nodded in agreement. He knew Junhyung well – he was, after all, the first person that Junhyung actually tried opening up to. Just like Doojoon, he knew that his best friend was madly in love with Hyunseung and wouldn’t leave him without an extremely good reason. The problem was that they would never be able to find out this reason, not unless Hyunseung himself knew why. Even then, the elder was extremely fragile now and it just insensitive to ask such a question.

“I’ll go check on him,” Doojoon said, when he realised that it’d been nearly an hour since Hyunseung had fallen asleep. He pressed his lips onto Yoseob’s forehead before going into Hyunseung’s room to check on him.

Yoseob was unable to hide the small smile that crept onto his face.

Hyunseung was unable to prevent the tears from spilling over upon witnessing the small display of affection, and he locked the room door immediately.

Junnie, it hurts so much. It really does.

-----------------------

It was over a half hour later that Geurim arrived, and she was let into the house by Yoseob. Greeting the couple and politely declining their offer to have lunch together, she asked if she could see Hyunseung. At that, Doojoon could only look back at the bedroom door, still locked shut, and shake his head.

“He won’t let us in. I went in to check on him a while ago and found it locked. I don’t have the room keys,” Doojoon said, clearly frustrated. Yoseob hummed in agreement, recalling how he’d spent five minutes trying to bribe Hyunseung with food. That failed, clearly.

Geurim sighed softly, nodding in understanding and thanking the couple for looking after her brother for the morning. Then, she headed over to the bedroom and knocked on the door lightly. “Oppa, can you open up? It’s me.”

Frowning when she got no response, Geurim knocked on the door once more. “Oppa. Please.”

Again, she was ignored by Hyunseung. Rolling her eyes at how stubborn Hyunseung was, she turned to look at Doojoon and Yoseob. “Since I’m here now, maybe you guys can go about your day,” she suggested. Junhyung had told her what to do in the event of Hyunseung locking people out, and she couldn’t have the couple know that Junhyung had looked her up.

Doojoon and Yoseob exchanged looks before nodding in response. They could trust Geurim, they knew that much. There was no way she was going to just leave Hyunseung alone. Besides, even if Hyunseung and Doojoon were childhood best friends, he and Geurim were siblings and there was a bond between siblings that even best friends wouldn’t have.

“Then we’ll get going. We ordered this in for Hyunseung. Can you make sure he eats it?”

“I’ll try my best. See you guys later then,” Geurim said, waving as the couple left the house. Then, making sure that they’d gone downstairs, Geurim pulled her phone out and dialled the number Junhyung had given her. The call got through almost instantly. “Is this Kyujong-sshi?”

“How may I help you?”

“Junhyung told me that you had the keys to all the rooms in the house, right? Can you open the master bedroom for me?” she requested. It’d been a tad bit weird when Junhyung had texted her before sunrise, giving her Kyujong’s number and telling her to contact him if she needed any of the house keys. Hell, she didn’t even know who Kyujong was, but she trusted Junhyung enough.

“No problem.”

It wasn’t even thirty seconds later that Kyujong and Jungmin walked into the house, effectively scaring Geurim out of her wits because “You couldn’t have knocked?”

Kyujong and Jungmin apologised before introducing themselves briefly. Well, Jungmin introduced the two of them while Kyujong unlocked the master bedroom door. After that, they told Geurim that they’d be keeping watch outside the house and that she could look them up if she needed anything. She thanked them for that, and went to find her brother.

Geurim’s heart ached when she saw Hyunseung curled up on the bed, silently crying even in his sleep. She’d never seen her brother so heartbroken and in so much pain. He did cry when Jiyong showed his true colours, but he’d at least let people comfort him. He didn’t lock anyone out. At the very least, he didn’t cry in his sleep and call out for Jiyong, like how he was whimpering for Junhyung at the moment.

“You know why he left, don’t you? Oppa, he still loves you. Never forget that,” Geurim said. She remembered when Junhyung called her that morning, asking for her help. Of course she’d been confused, but after thinking about it, she realised that Junhyung really didn’t have any other choice. It just to see her brother in so much pain, and not being able to tell him where to find Junhyung. She knew perfectly well that Hyunseung would visit Junhyung every day and from what Junhyung told her, this Jaewon person wouldn’t like it.

Flinching slightly when Hyunseung’s sobbing got louder, Geurim quickly hugged her brother tightly and tried her hardest not to cry, too.

------------------------

It was in the late afternoon when Hyunseung finally woke up again. Geurim had fallen asleep hugging her brother and comforting him. When Hyunseung woke up, for just a brief moment, he was hopeful that Junhyung had come back. He didn’t know who else would hold him in his sleep, and besides, he’d locked the bedroom door.

But then, when he looked down and saw the familiar head of brown hair, his hopes instantly vanished and he could only bite his lip to prevent himself from crying too loudly. He didn’t want to wake Geurim up, after all. Slowly untangling himself from Geurim’s embrace, Hyunseung made his way to the living room. His gaze automatically landed on the cyclamen that Yoseob had placed on the table, and Hyunseung broke down once more.

“Where did you go?” he sniffled, grabbing the cyclamen and gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He still wasn’t over the fact that Junhyung had left him and Ilhoon alone, with totally no clue about where he’d gone. And you said you loved me and Ilhoon. You lying bastard.

Hyunseung knew that Junhyung had left because of Jaewon’s threat. He also understood why the younger couldn’t tell him anything, because he knew that he would find some way to contact Junhyung. What he couldn’t understand was why Junhyung made him a promise, just to break it. How could Junhyung be so cruel to him?

“Oppa, Junhyung’s probably hurting too,” Geurim said as she sat down next to Hyunseung. She wiped Hyunseung’s tears away, grabbing the food that Doojoon and Yoseob had ordered in and setting it in front of Hyunseung. “Aren’t you hungry?”

Hyunseung sniffled, shaking his head and whimpering. “I just want Junnie.”

Geurim sighed. “But oppa, you have to think about Ilhoon,” she pointed out.

Almost instinctively, Hyunseung’s hand went down to rest over his baby bump. Yet another whimper escaped as Hyunseung thought about how he was going to raise Ilhoon. He wasn’t going to be able to cope between working and caring for a new born. How was he going to handle it?

“Just eat a little,” Geurim coaxed.

Hyunseung hesitated slightly, nodding in defeat when he felt his stomach grumble. He hadn’t had any food since the night before, and it was already in the late afternoon. It was safe to say that Hyunseung was starving, but he really didn’t have much of an appetite. After swallowing the first mouthful of ramen, Hyunseung pushed the bowl away and shook his head.

“I can’t stomach it,” Hyunseung said, his voice barely a whisper.

“But this isn’t healthy for you or Ilhoon…” Geurim mumbled, not knowing how to make Hyunseung eat because if he really didn’t have the appetite, he’d probably just throw up. She didn’t want to force her brother to eat if he couldn’t, but it wasn’t as if she could let him not eat. He was pregnant and if this went on, she didn’t want to think about what could happen to both Hyunseung and Ilhoon. “At least one more mouthful, then?”

Hyunseung shook his head again. “I really can’t, Geurim-ah.”

“Ok, but promise me you’ll try to eat more for dinner. I’ll go get you some water,” she said, giving in. Hyunseung nodded, watching as she went to the kitchen and searched for an empty cup. The memories of watching Junhyung prepare food flooded Hyunseung’s thoughts and before he knew it, the waterworks started again. It was impossible not to think about Junhyung, not after living with him for the past couple of months.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here, oppa.”

That’s the problem, Geurim-ah. You’re not him. It’ll never be the same.

Ok so I'm back (finally) after disappearing for almost a month and I'm so so so sorry for leaving you guys hanging like that ;A; I know you must be tired of hearing that work's a and I've been busy with life, but that's the reality ><

Updates will be more regular from now onwards, although the next one could still take me two weeks because this week's a little busy for me. I'm sorry if this update wasn't really worth the wait :/

Honestly, I got writer's block while doing this ._. I just couldn't really get the emotions out right and just... bleh. This chapter became really weird and I gave up on trying to fix it ><

The next chapter will be better, I promise! I'll be doing some minor timeskips (like maybe a week later?) because I'm not really good with prolonging angst D:

Please look forward to the next chapter and once again, I'm sorry for being such a y author TT See you guys next week then! Annyeong~! ^^