[Daesung’s POV]

“Bae?” Bora said softly as she walked into the living room of my parents house.

Youngbae doesn’t move to her voice. He was sitting on the couch leaning back against it. His hand was on his chin, as if he was thinking about something. He was staring at the Christmas Tree that lit up the whole living room.

“Bae?” She said again walking over.

He finally looked at her and shook his head. “Neh?”

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He responded, looking back at the tree and the presents underneath it. “I can’t believe this is the first christmas without Daesung.” He breathed in deep and then slowly let it out.

Bora walked to the couch and sat down next to Youngbae. “It’s sad… I miss him a lot.” She said softly resting her head on his shoulder.

Youngbae looked at her and smiled a bit. “Yeah.” He replied.

Bora looked at the presents underneath and then up at the tree. There was a picture of me smiling, a tiny hole punched out in the top with a string tied through it. It was a picture ornament. Bora looked away from the tree and at Youngbae again. “Let’s go to bed okay?” She sat up straight.

“You go ahead. I’m not tired.” He shifted in his spot.

“Youngbae, please… You need some sleep.” Bora looked at him with concern.

He shook his head. “I don’t need it. I’m not going to sleep if I am not tired.”

“But you are tired…” She shifted on the couch to face him more. “You’re always falling asleep wherever we go.” She frowned.

“I’ll be fine.” He muttered.

“No you’re not.” She shook her head.

“I am…” He looked at her.

“What is wrong with you? What are you so afraid of?” She asked.

“Nothing… I am afraid of nothing… I am fine.” He looked away from her.

“But you’re not…” She said softly. “Something is bothering you and I can see it.”

“I am full of regret for not being able to stop Daesung from leaving the house that day… I am hurting because I couldn’t get to him in time.” Youngbae shook his head. “I regret not telling him how I feel.” He muttered underneath his breath.

“How… you feel about what?” Bora looked at Youngbae, half knowing and half confused.

Youngbae looked at her and stood up. “Nothing… don’t worry about it… Let’s go to bed.” He said said quietly and walked towards the stairs.

“Okay…” She said softly before standing up and following him. She stopped at the start of the stairs and looked back at the tree, at my picture, before turning back around and going up.

AT SEUNGHYUN’S HOUSE

Bom walked throughout the house in the morning singing. “Merry Christmassssss!” She smiled as she danced around. “Merry Christmassssss!!!”

Seunghyun walked downstairs. “What the hell are you doing?” He muttered rubbing his face.

“Singing you poo head!” She laughed as she danced over to Seunghyun and wrapped her arms around him. “Merry Christmas.” She smiled before kissing him. She pulled away. “I have a gift for you.” She bit her lips and smiled.

“Oh? What is it?” Seunghyun asked looking at her.

She leaned up to his ear. “I’ll tell you later tonight.” She leaned back down and smiled.

She shooked his head. “Why would you tell me right now then.” He gives her a look.

She frowns and backs away from him. She gives him a look back and then walks away.

“Hey! What’s for breakfast?” Seunghyun calls after her.

Bom picks up a spatula and throws it at him. “Make something yourself!” She yells.

“Merry Christmas! I love you!” He yells back after dodging the spatula. He bends down to pick it up and places it in the sink. “Hey, what time are we going over to Daesung’s parents house?” He yells out grabbing a bowl from the cabinet.

“I don’t know.” Bom mutters walking into the kitchen from the den.

“Didn’t you ask Bora?” He asks.

“No?” Bom looks at him. “She isn’t my friend? I don’t talk to her.” She sits down at the dining room table.

“Oh.” Seunghyun nonchalantly. He pours some cereal into the bowl and then grabs the milk from the fridge.

“You’re eating cereal?” Bom asks.

He stops pouring the milk and looks up at her. He then looks around and then back at her. “Yeah?”

“Why not cook something for all of us…” She mutters.

Seunghyun starts laughing. “You’re very funny babe.” He laughs as he places the milk back into the fridge and the cereal back into the cupboard.

Bom rolls her eyes and stands up. “I’m going to wake Daesung up.”

Seunghyun, in the middle of chewing some cereal, looks up at her. “MM! I’ll…” He chews some more. “Wake…” He swallows the cereal. “him up.”

Bom looks back at him. “Well… Cook us some breakfast first and then i’ll let you wake him up.”

Seunghyun eyes him. “Fine…” He quickly downs his cereal and places the bowl in the sink. He goes to the fridge and pulls out the eggs and bacon and hashbrowns and starts cooking.

“Good boy.” She says underneath her breath and walks up stairs.

IN DAESUNG’S ROOM

I was awake… but then again I wasn’t. I was aware of my surroundings, but I was seeing pictures in my mind. My eyes were closed and the background was black, but I saw pictures… Memories… My life… I started to dream about what my future would be like… what would happen… I dreamt that I had a family… I couldn’t see who the person I married was or if I had children. Was I happy?

My thinking was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. The pictures disappeared and turned to dust. The door opened and someone walked in. I was laying on my side and the blankets covered me up to my head.

I felt someone poke my cheek and whisper my name. “Daesung?”

“Mm..” I groaned and scrunched up my face. I pulled the blankets up and over to cover my face.

“Daesung wake up… We have to get ready to go.” The person said quietly.

“Go where…” I muttered.

“Your parents house.” They said softly.

I didn’t say anything. I knew today was the day I had to tell them… But how was I…

“Did you hear me?” They asked.

“Neh…” I muttered… “I’ll be down in a few…”

“Okay.” They quietly walked out of the room and closed the door behind them.

I slowly sat up and looked around the room. I took a deep breath and rubbed my face. I slowly got out of bed and stumbled over to the closet. I pulled out a black jacket and a white shirt. Then I looked through my dresser and pulled out a faded black pair of skinny jeans and grabbed my belt from the floor. I opened the door and looked around the hallway before heading to the bathroom.

“Daesung?” A girl said softly.

I stopped walking and turned around. “Neh?” I answered.

“How are you feeling?” She said motioning to my stomach.

I placed a hand on the area where Jiyong hurt me and looked down. I was trying to think of what to say. I finally looked up and smiled at Dami. “I’m feeling great.”

“Really?” She smiled too.

“Neh. No pain at all.” I laughed.

She kept smiling. “Good.” She said softly.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her.

“I feel great. I feel happy.” She nodded.

“That’s good.” I responded with a soft voice.

“Daesung! Are you almost ready!” Seunghyun yelled from downstairs.

I looked towards the stairs and then at Dami. “I think I need to finish getting ready.” I smiled.

“Okay.”

I turned away and quickly headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. The truth is… I was in pain. It was the worst pain I have ever been in.