[Daesung’s POV]

The officer led me back into the room where I saw Seungri on the bed. I looked away at the sight of him. I couldn't see him like this. We knew each other for as long as I could remember... If he dies...

I don't know how I could go on living. It would be like a piece of me would be missing. He was my friend.

Did I do the right thing? Giving them Jiyong's name?

I slowly walked over to Seungri's bed. The beeping sounds of the machines quietly got louder. The officer stood by the door at at-ease. I got closer and closer to the bed. I stopped when I could move no further.

“Seungri... I... I'm sorry...” I said softly as I placed my hand on top of his. “I'm going to do whatever it takes to make things right.” I turned away and walked out of the hospital room. When I reached the hallway, the tears just fell.

The officer dropped me back off at my house 30 minutes later, I walked through the door and was greeted by my family.

“Was it Seungri?” My mom asked worried.

“Is he okay?” My sister asked, walking over to me.

“Please... I just want to be by myself” I said softly. I gently pushed past them and went up the stairs.

“Well alright... just be back down in an hour, we're going out for your birthday” My mom said as she went back to the kitchen to finish the dishes.

I walked in my room and quietly closed the door shut. I leaned against it and slid down. Why is my life full of bull right now... Why is everything happening to me.

“Why am I getting attacked emotionally and physically and my friends weakened!” I yelled to myself as I picked up something and threw it at my wall. I stood up and paced around. I grabbed at my hair and muttered to myself.

Someone knocked on my door.

“GO AWAY!” I yelled.

“It's just me...” Youngbae said through the door.

“Oh you? Yeah GO AWAY!” I yelled again.

Youngbae sighed and messed with the door knob. I picked something up and as soon as he opened the door I threw it at him, but it hit the wall next to him and broke in pieces.

“Dude! Chill out!” Youngbae yelled as he ran over to me.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled at him. I picked something else up, but he grabbed a hold of me and I startled to struggle and kick around.

“Daesung calm down or I will make you calm down” Youngbae threatened.

“YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM!” I yelled and continued to kick around, I held up the object and Youngbae put me in a choke hold, and held it long enough to make me lose feeling and drop the item. I closed my eyes and my body went limp.

“I told you” Youngbae whispered as he laid me down in my bed and covered me up.

Bora ran up to my room. She looked around and then at me and then finally at Youngbae. “What happened?!”

“Your brother needs help Bora... He has mental issues.” Youngbae said walking past her.

“Don't say that about my brother.” She said following him.

“It's true and you know it Bora” Youngbae said stopping to look at her.

Bora stood in front of him and crossed her arms. “He does need help... but that doesn't mean he is mentally unstable.” She muttered.

This was their first real argument.

It was my fault.

I caused it all.

“Then get him checked in” Youngbae muttered and turned down the stairs.

“Youngbae... I am NOT checking my brother into a mental institution.” She argued back.

Youngbae stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned around. “Daesung would be safer in there instead of out here with creeps like Jiyong.” He looked at the stairs and then at her. “You know I am right...”

Bora just looked at Youngbae and then looked in the direction of my room. She sighed. “Let's go talk to my parents then.”

In my mind everything was sweet, simple, beautiful, living, laughing and special. Everything was 'P.E.R.F.E.C.T'
Did I have to wake up? Can I just sleep a little bit longer... better yet... forever...

Can I take Seungri's place?

Can... I just wish... That I was never born... Then... None of this would have ever happened.

I like dreaming... because here... you own everything. You're in control of what happens. Nothing can stop you from anything. Unless... you let it.

Unless you let your fear overcome you and eat you from the inside out. Unless you let yourself to break down while you let your fear take over your dream and cover it in darkness.

Unless you tell the demon that you're no longer the strong person you once were and now are weak. Look at him and watch him smile and say... 'I told you so'

That you can't be strong enough anymore, you can't be tough anymore, you can't be happy, excited or joyful anymore. You have to be weak now, you have to be soft now, you have to be mad, nervous and sad now.

No more of the person everyone knew.

I need someone to help me.

I need...

My eyes opened up to a loud beeping noise. I looked around and at the clock it was only 1:26 in the afternoon. I was looking around for that beeping noise. I couldn't see where it was coming from. I closed my eyes again and all I could think about was the beeping noises from the machines at the hospital... Seungri.

I opened my eyes again and the noises were gone. I sat up and slowly got out of bed and stumbled to the door. My neck was in so much pain. I opened the door and stumbled out and towards the stairs. I stopped at the top and looked down, it seemed like it was going on forever. I took one step and then took another. I stopped on the steps when I heard some people talking down stairs.

“Mom... Youngbae is right now.” Bora said softly.

“I wont put my own son in the crazy hospital” My mom said back. I took a few more steps down the stairs so I can hear more clearly.

“But Mom, he'll be safer in there” Bora said again.

“He will Mrs. Kang. If we don't put Daesung in one Jiyong will keep taunting him.” Youngbae said. I looked around the corner.

“Jiyong is a good kid” My mom said softly.

“No he's not Mom...” Bora muttered. “He's the reason that Daesung got hit by the car last week.”

My mom sighed and shook her head. “I'm not discussing this on my son's birthday.” My mom said as she put away the last of the dishes. Bora was finishing up wrapping up a gift.

“I just think it's something to consider” Bora said softly.

“Your father won't go with it either Bora” My mom said back to her.

I looked at the ground and then walked around the corner and over to them. They stopped what they were doing and looked at me.

I looked at them
“So... Mental Hospital?”