/a very long chapter , sorry/

  “ .    .    .   What are you gonna do now hu?” jessica on the other line went on screaming as hyeon who has hidden herself in the bathroom goes on walking in circles .

   “ .    .    .  I don't know .  “ hyeon replied.

she has turned the shower water on just in case someone came to check up on her as she goes on quietly whispering to jessica.

       When she willingly jumped into jae’s car she hasn't thought long enough to this point .  Holding his hand the ride till here might have been a bit bearable but now that his hand is long gone from hers and she is left alone with her crazy mind once again. Her brain can't stop thinking  of million scenarios she could use to escape this situation.

   Not just her, even everyone around her looked confused and startled as she walked into the house following behind jae who has jumped off and ran up the stairs to his corner of the house . All eyes have then stayed on her .   .   . Her new hair and glowing face adding to their dilemma the room stayed quiet for minutes before mrs kim asked if hyeon wanted to take a quick shower before dinner and asked eun to lead her.

    “ .     .      .   What is going on?” mrs kim shouted joons way once hyeon led by eun disappeared into the other corner of the first floor,to her usual guest room.

   “ .    .     .  He has lost it “ joon taking off his jacket started walking to the living room

The confused and anxious Mrs kim followed behind . The last time she saw jae was way before this whole mess started .   .  Even when he was hospitalized or after did he care to drop by or visit . Everything she knows is based on joon. From the break up to his U.S. flight to what's going on with the company all her information is from joon.

   “ .    .    .  He went on the pa system and was calling her name to the whole building “ sungi picking the whisky by the table started pouring in the two glasses he flipped up. Just like him , he's sure joon needs a drink .

     “ .   .   . What .   

 “ .   .  Why    .  Why did he do that ?

“ .   .  Was the ce.o. there ?” mrs kim sent numerous questions joons way. He threw his coat on the long couch and took the drink sungi passed him .  .  Taking a sip before he glanced up to mrs kim anxious eyes .

   “ .   .    .  She showed up at the office.   .   Huh “ he sighed.taking another sip.

  “ .   .    .   She showed up out of nowhere and then just walked out “ he added recalling what started it all.

  “ .   .     .  Then he chased after her , called her out with the pa system .  Then got dragged out by his dad .    He broken the whole book shelf .  .   Started a war with the ceo then walked out .   .  “ he chugged whatever was left in one breath.

  “ .  .  Then she showed up again in front of the whole lobby  and he had his attack she saved him then were here “ he placed the glass on the table and looked up at mrs kim again . He had summarized what has happened with short sentences. Rather than clarifying his words only left mrs kim more confused .

    The moment she heard jae has called it off the tray from her hands has flown out smashing the glasses on top of it against the floor . She knew it will be the end of jae if hyeon break up with him but hearing jae was the one that pulled the trigger mrs kim instantly has figured it might have something to do with the ceo . There is no way jae would ever have hyeon up unless threatened so . She has seen the way he looks at hyeon .    .    How much his eyes wait for her reactions after he says something .    .   How much his lips part up for a smile whenever she's around .     .    .  Anybody  who has even eaten a meal with him before there was a hyeon and have seen his face when hyeon was here for dinner last time could tell how much jae adors hyeon.

       This won't be the first time for the family to push off an important person for jae way from him .   .    .   But for him this time it might be too unbearable and he had asked mrs kim she would have told him to fight it off . To chose hyeon and fight it off rather than given in and throw her away . But as always she has only heard about it after it happened .   .  After jae had called hyeon to his office and told her to call it off as if it was another business partnership .  And again she has only heard about his breakdown once he had left to the U.S. and his avoiding meals and the new pills  by forcing joon to tell her what's going on when his doctor failed too.

   Even before anybody knew it mrs kim has figured it out as the boy she raised started acting weird. Even from a younger age jae has been a very well behaved kid who had one blank face he showed to the world and a smiley face he hides from everyone and just for the women who raised him. But after hyeon even her position has been replaced .   .  .  His smiles were brighter when they laugh along with hyeon .   .  His eyes light up whenever they see hyeon .   .   .  His blank face changing day by day and thanking God mrs kim has overjoyed when she met hyeon. There could have been no body else that could have captured jae's heart like hyeon had .

   And with her upright and honest personality who wouldn't have liked hyeon  .    .     .  And mrs kim had loved her . .   . She had adored her weird personality and how much she's scared of jae even though he is just as much terrified of her . Just the way hyeon steals glances jae way was to adorable to mrs kim who could only imagine how much of a struggle it must be for hyeon to even confess to liking the executive director of jk corp.

  “ .    .   .  So wait are they back together or .   .  “

she asked she needs a bit of a hint before she goes up and annoys jae till he tell her what's going on

  “ .    .    . Well i don't think he will last another day if she doesn't forgive him so .   . “ joon picked his phone out of his jacket's pocket.

   “ .   .    .  It's time for him to kneel down “ he added before lifting the phone up to his ear and walking out into the hallway.

   “ .   .    .  I don't know anything “ sungi raised both his hands when mrs kim's eyes turned to him . His policy has always been “ i don't know anything” whenever he’s asked about Jae.

   “ .    .    .  This is just too much . “ Mrs kim picking up the glass joon left behind walked out heading into the kitchen.

     Even if she went up and annoyed jae she wouldn't  be getting anything .  Only heartache is what's waiting for her if she sees his face . She has heard he hasn't been eating and is living of his iv and the pills he swallowed every other hour. She can't imagine how pale his face probably has turned or how dark the skin below his eyes have gotten.   .    .  Or how skinny he looks . She knows she won't be able to stand looking at him .    .      .  She won't be quiet like joon and let him do whatever he wants.   .    .  It's better if she doesn't see him.

    “ .    .    .  What’s going on ?

“ .     .     Are they back ?.   .  ”  the chef asked as she walked in .   .  He didn't even take his eyes off the tomatoes he’s chopping as he asked .

      “ .     .     .  How would i know “ she shouted startling him before she walked back out heading to the stairs .

“ .    .     .  All you need to do is be confident “ jessica goes on trying zto give hyeon a boost.p

   “ .    .   .  He's the one with the wrong doings so all you need to do is be your old self and just nail him down “

   “ .    .    . You have the upper hand right now , hyeon “ jessica added.

   “ .    .    .  Huh “ hyeon sighed even though jessica's pep talk helps bring her confidence up she knows it will come tumbling down once she gets a glimpse of jae . But for now she needs to put her game face on . She has came all the way here .   .  If he's gonna use her and throw her away again at least she should get some questions answered. She has always been the one raising the questions and pushing him to a corner but now even saying a word seems like a mountain she has to climb.

  “ .    .     .  Just think of how you were feeling weeks ago “

“ .   .   How many time have you cried for him hyeon .   .      .

" . .  How much were you hurting ?” jessica asked refreshing hyeon's memory to a point  she doesn't even wanna think off and as though it was that reminder she needed . Hyeon can't help but feel the urge swep in when her head plays again and again how jae has walked past her like he didn't even knew her .   .  Or how much he goes on glancing the other way avoiding her swollen eyes that plead to him .    .    .   

    “ .    .    .  Huh “ hyeon gasped the pain is still fresh .    .   Her memory is still very vivid and clear as it recalls everything.  

   “ .     .    .  Wait  .  I’ll call you back .   .   Traffic “ jessica hanged up leaving hyeon to her own thoughts. The big mirror in front reflecting her dazed face as she stares at it hyeon stood there. The loud shower noise going in one ear then out the other as she goes through her million thoughts.

       “ .    .   .   Why are you doing this to me ?” she asked glancing up at the roof .

   “ .    .     .  Hyeon are you there ?” came a knock on the door pulling her out of her head.

  Knock.    .   Knock

“ .    .  Hyeon .   .   

 “ .    .     Hyeon am coming in !” mrs kim knocked one last time and walked in to find the startled hyeon standing in the middle while the noise from the shower still echoes .

  “ .    .    .   If you needed space you could have just walked out into the garden .  .  It's a better place to think “ mrs kim walking to the shower opened the glass door up and silenced the water .

    “ .    .    .  I was just .  .  “not knowing how to finish the sentence she started hyeon just mumbled and sent her eyes down to the floor .

   “ .    .     . Whats with the hair cut ?” mrs kim asked as she started walking back from the shower.

    “.   .    .  did jae had something to do with it  “ she walked up to hyeon and started brushing hyeons hair back.

   “ .    .    .  I look like a boy .   .  “ hyeon changing the subject went on smiling, hoping mrs kim won't press on questions about jae .

   “ .      .    If you maintain it i think you might even look more chic and fierce than ever “ dropping her hands mrs kim smiled along hyeon.

   “  .    .    .  You look even more beautiful than ever “she didn't forget to comment on the glowing face of hyeon that has startled her when she saw hyeon walk out of the car . The swollen and worn out look she expected from hyeon wasn't even close to her face. It doesn't seem like she was that affected by the break up at all or she really has moved on .

    Knowing if she says anything it might lead to more questions hyeon stayed quiet and followed behind quietly walking out of the bathroom.

    “ .    .     .   So whats going on ?” Mrs kim asked getting right to the point. She hasn't seen the dismayed look on hyeon's face as the later just follows behind, heading to the stairs.

      “ .     .    .   Last thing i heard was that he was taken to the states for treatment and now you're here “ Mrs kim added. She can sense by hyeon's silence that there is something huge going on for hyeon to be at this house.

    “   .    .    .  I don't know nothing about what he has been doing am here because i have a question to ask “ hyeon clear and shato answer along with her affering tone shocking mrs kim she halted her walk  and turned around facing hyeon . It seems like remembering all the tears she has shaded helps bring her confidence out.

    Forget trembling hands and wavering eyes .   .   .   hyeon is ready to get some justification for all the days she has cried out till her eyes wollo up .   .  All the heartache she bared living day after day as a zombie .    .      .     She remembers all so clearly .    .  She remembers every teardrop that fell down her cheeks very clearly as its trail still heats up when ever she thinks about those day .  

     “ .    .    .   I came to talk “ hyeon added more of an affirmation to herself than mrs kim.  Why is she always the one confessing .  . Crying .   . Pleading .    .    .  For once she is gonna switch it up , no matter how hard she will put her game face on and just like jessica said nail jae to the ground until he explains himself.

      “ .    .     .  Hyeon .  “ mrs kim grabbed hyeons arm before she passed by and went down the stairs.

   “ .    .     .  I don't think tonight is the right time “ mrs kim asked , hearing the tone of voice hyeon is using she can't help but be scared for jae . Has he really pushed her off this much .   .     .     Has he really made her this mad because  It doesn't look like hyeon is here for chit chats and dinner .

    “ .    .    . Why , you still feel sorry for him huh!” hyeon smiled ,s he has seen how the worried eyes of everybody has followed jae up when he ran into the house . It won't be surprising for them to be worried about him but to try and defend him or protect him after what he has done to her is just a bit ridiculous in hyeon's  eyes.

   “ .    .    .   Hyeon , he's not as strong

“ .    .    .  Don’t worry i won't eat him “ hyeon interrupted giving mrs kim a big smile.

   “ .    .    . I just want to know why , that's all “ she added another smile as she pulled mrs kim's hand off of hers.

   “ .    .    .   I have no energy for revenger or what not i just want to know why “ she turned around and went down the stairs leaving the dismayed mrs kim behind . Her fake smile by it self was alarming but now .   .  Even when she smiling genuinely hyeon smile didn't ease mrs kim worry just made her even more petrified as to what's gonna happen.

         “ .   .    .   Huh .  “ hyeon sighed as she goes down the stairs the  heading to the living roo  . It's better for her to sit there and wait .  It's the only place rather than the kitchen she knows off and right now going to the kitchen doesn't look that peeling as mrs kim could force her to confess somehow. Her confidence is right at the edge .   .  Words away from  being broken down and she turns to her scared and trembling self .   .   She has a big secret to keep and since she has decided tonight is not the time to tell jae she has to stay on top of her emotions and let her mind run the show . Her broken heart needs to hide away . It can't afford being shot again,

   “ .    .    .   Oh hey .  .  “ sungi stood up when hyeon walked in  he didn't even know why he did it but somehow he just did.

Giving him a small smile she chose to sit on the sofa by the other end . She sighed in relief when she saw the tv on .   .   Atleast he would take everybody's attention from her .

“ .    .     .  You waiting for him?.   .  “ joon walking in asked when he saw hyeon sitting down. Hyeon didn't reply.

   “ .   .    .  If you're waiting for him can you wait till he eats dinner at least , he has not had anything the whole day “ joon asked pouring the whisky into the new glass eun has placed next to the alcohol bottles.

    “ .   .    .  I know you like having an exit plan so here “ joon threw a key her way . Before it hit her face hyeon cathed the key.

    “ .   .    .  It's the only one parked in front the company's address is on it  “ he added as he started walking to his seat. He knows hyeon feels imprisoned once she gets into this house .   .   She doesn't know the address.   .  She can't just walk off and take a taxi .    .   .  She feels trapped while she's here and knowing how much she hates asking for help he can't imagine how much it must ache hyeon to be able to ask them to give her a ride. Just like it pains him to see jae in discomfort it disturb him even more to see hyeon trembling .

      “     .    .    .   Huh “ he took another sip followed by a loud sigh as he looks at hyeon sitting across from the table between them. He remembers the first day she walked into jaes office .   . Her ripped jeans matched well with her usual sloganed shirt .  A pen holding her messy hair together she has barged in shocking him more than jae . He couldn't even stop wondering how she passed security let alone get to the 11th floor looking like this and he was seconds away from calling for security . But when she opened .   .   .  When she went on and on about that land he can't help but be drawn in.

   Her voice demanded to be heard and to his surprise his boss has stayed quiet and let her talk as well. Both were tp shocked by her presence .   .  Her look .   .  Her confidence that was radiating  .   . The way she talked .  .   Her commanding tone .   .    her fingers that pointed at the number of papers she was holding .   .  It wasn't a surprise that she had even startled and left joon speechless let alone his boss.

       It was as though she didn't even know who jae was or how powerful his position was as she goes on and on cursing out companies like his .   .    .   Even for him the words she spoke out went in one ear than another as he is too much dismayed that there is still women like her left in this country . Women who with a beggar looking cloth would jump into an executive director's office and scream at him right at his face cursing his company to its core

    His boss who has never even talked to any woman who is not , mra kim , mih ah or eun was to shocked and confused as his dismayed eyes stayed on hyeon.  Being screamed at for something he has never heard of by someone who he has never seen was it weird then that jae would spend the day figuring out what had just happened in his office. Was it w whole pack or close enough that he has smoked the whole day sitting through meeting after meeting as his mind can't stop playing the scene over and over again.

  He might have wrote it off as a curiosity but it was the second she started talking that she has captured his attention . Since he hasn't even seen anyone dressed like her before jae has assumed it was just blind curiosity but when she started appearing day in day out .    .     .   then even grabbed a hold of his hand and used that same hand to slap him . When he let her get away with that .     .     .  That’s when he knew she would get her entangled into that messy plan and tried to stay away but the more he tried the more he got dragged in.

      Joon who's always on the right side then have noticed it all . From the little moves jae use to make when hyeon use to walk in to how more cautious jae np becomes around her . Just like his boss joon has smiled it off then as jae behaving in front of someone he has never meet and could even imagine meeting. But that smile he had back then is long gone now .   .   . There is nothing between hyeon and jae to smile about anymore . Things couldn't get anymore depressing or serious .

      Now sitting in that couch .  .   Trying hard to hold in her trembling hands into her pocket .  Shoulder down .  Eyes glued to the floor .   .    . He never thought a day would come where he would ever see that girl turned to this. He would never have imagined a day hyeon would be scared of his boss. But at least she looks good .

   Taking another sip joon couldn't help but scan hyeon up and down .   .  She really has gotten pretty and for once with her hair gone he clearly could make out all her amazing. For once her amazing neckline was visible too .   .   If it wasn't hyeon he would have assumed plastic surgery might have something to with it but knowing hyeon that's not even possible. How can she look this great even after crying her eyes out like that .   .   .  

“ .   .  Huh  .  “ a small smile escaped his lips as he thought of how much it must hurt jae to see her like this . It must pain his boss to taken hyeon's radiant face that seems to be getting prettier by the day.  Being a man it's not that hard to imagine how much self control jae would need to keep his distance from hyeon.

  “ .   .    .  Maybe it's the pills “ joon thought to himself . Since all jae  lives off has became pills and alcohol may be that have numbed him out completely. Because it's not like he doesn't think about her .    .   .  That's all jae ever does . He might not say it out loud and profess it like the rest but even when he's sitting in those long meeting with his eyes glued to the table . Joon knows there only one person  jaes mind ever runs wild for.

   “ .    .    .  Did you find a job?” joon forcing himself to not even think about his broken boss chose to start a conversation.

    “ .    .    .   Yeah .  “ hyeon turning her eyes his way for a second replied before she turned her eyes back to the tv. The long answer joon expected never came his way and seeing his puzzled face sungi can't help but smile. Hyun's answer was too short and direct .  .  She didn't even say where she is working .

   “ .   .   .  Where?” joon asked placing the glass down . If he had to go question by question he will.

  “ .    .    . You know i can find that out in seconds right “ when hyeon failed to answer quickly as she has spotted out yeah joon added . Her sharp eyes returned his way .

  “ .   .   .  Is he gonna take long   “  hyeon not even wanting to address what joon has said asked.  Just like he joon took a bit of time before he replied .   .  He needed some seconds to read her.  She seems really uncomfortable .    .    . Was it the question or Was she rushing because she can't wait any more .   ,  or because she wants to  run away .

   “ .   .    .  Up stares Last room on your left .   ,  you know where he is “ joon folding his arm sat back.

   “    .    .  You can go ahead “ joon pointed to the stairs . Hyun's razor sharp eyes didn't even blink as she picked her bag up and started walking to the direction he pointed .  .  Even joon can't help but follow in her steps .

  “ .   .    .  am sure you don't be startled if you walk in to find him “ joon added counting down the seconds it would take hyeon to turn back bit not even one did he count as her legs stopped and she turned around . Both men started laughing .  .   .   Joon trying to cover his mouth by his hands as he laughs out loud .

   “ .   .   .  Am guessing you went back on your tying him to the bed thing “ he added still laughing .

   “ .   .   . Wait .  She wanted to tie him to the bed    .   WHAT “ sungis big smile was even more annoying than joons now .

   “ .   .    .  You kinda look like you would be into that kind of stuff “ sungi glanced up and down taking in hyeon's look.

   “ .      .  Excuse me “ hyeon finally opened in protest.

  “ .   .  Woo