Okay. This is it. This is the day.

I breathe in and out and checked out my reflection on the mirror. Reminding myself for the hundredth time that after this, I will be out.

I called for a meeting immediately the moment I opened my eyes this morning. I will make the announcement then I'll head to the airport for my flight after lunch.

Looking at the mirror for the last time and the I headed out my office to the boardroom.

 

The room was full of the boardmembers and of course, my father, at the very end of the table watching me as I make my way in front.

 

"Before we start this meeting, I just wanted to deliver my apology for calling you all early this morning and suddenly scheduling a meeting." I bowed to them and stood up straight.

All eyes are on me and they looked like they're going to eat me alive. But I have to take any ounce of courage that I could squeeze from every tissue of my body. Vice President Jung is there and gave me an encouraging nod and smile.

"I called you all to announce my resignation as the President of this company." I bowed again and I heard murmur from everyone. I heard a thug on the table and when I looked up I saw my father with a disgruntled face standing up from his seat and ready to make his way out.

"Why are you suddenly stepping down as the President? Did you know that there are still things in the company that needed to be done rather than making this fuss?" One of the boardmembers said. I don't know who, I just focused on my father back view walking out. I looked around when he finally went out and continued speaking.

"As my successor, Vice President Jung will take over the job I left. I am really sorry." I bowed again. "I had personal issues to accomplish and I don't want the company to be affected more." And that's it. I made my way out and tried to catch up with my father. Then Secretary Oh informed me that my father is waiting for me in my office.

I opened my door and went in. My father is standing by the window and looking outside. When he heard me coming in he turned around and his face is indescribable. I know in fact that he is angry. I clenched my fist and made my way to him. I am ready whatever words he would say. I would accept them wholeheartedly because they are part of my plans.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He yelled and looked at me with those eyes. It's my first time hearing him and seeing him like this. I know for sure I brought out this side of him.

I wanted to look down but I had to stop myself. I have to be brave. I have to face this. I did this in the first place.

"If it's because you don't want to marry Jaehyun, it's so childish Lee Heeseol!" Whenever he calls me in my whole name, I know I'm in trouble.

"You can't do anything, you'll marry him. That's it!" He paused. "If only I have known you're this irresponsible, I shouldn't have entrust you the company this early." He continued.  And with that, he left my office in an instant with a loud bang of the door. I felt my tears flow on my cheeks and I wiped it. I have to fight this. Secretary Oh went inside and hugged me as soon as she saw me.

"Heeseol-ah" she called out as she rub my back. I know that at this moment she's isn't my secretary, but my friend.

"Eonni, mianhae." I sobbed and hugged her back.

"Ssh." I know she was scolded by Father outside and it's because of me. Father would have asked her if she knows about this.

Jieun don't still know about my flight and pregnancy. But I would tell her before I go.

"Eonni." I broke the hug and looked at her.

"I have to go somewhere." I said.

When we were on my car I heard my phone ring and it was Jaehyun.

"Heeseol, I heard about the meeting. What was that?" He said.

"Nothing, I just wanted to step down. I have things to arrange first and I had to focus on them."

"What about our wedding?"

"There will be no wedding. I need to go somewhere." I said and ended the phone call.

"What was that?" Jieun eonni asked me right after I put down my phone.

"No wedding? And where will you go? You know you're father won't allow that." She said. I nodded and pulled out my passport and ticket from my bag.

"I'll be out of the country. See that car behind us, it's Jiwon, Minhwan and Mom."

"Your mother knew?" Her eyes went wide and her body instantly turned to me. I nodded. I rubbed my stomach and I knew she studied what I did.

"Wait. What's that? Heeseol, you're pregnant?" I looked at her as she pointed her finger on my stomach. I nodded and smiled at her. That was my first smile today and it's because of my baby.

"Woah! I wondered all this time why are you suddenly wearing these kind of outfits. They weren't even your style." She chuckled. Surprisingly, her voice doesn't even contain any disappointment. I didn't expect that.

"I know, but I still wear them well." And I chuckled for the first time today. My first happiness today was because of my baby and I am so thankful for that.

"I know for sure it wasn't Jaehyun. Then who?" She smiled. And a glint in her eyes signed me that she knew who. I fixed myself on my seat and I furrowed my brows suspecting that she knows.

"Do you have any idea who?" I asked her and she chuckled again.

"President Choi?" She said instantly causing me to laugh loudly. I shook my head and laughed. My phone rings again and I looked at it, it's Sunggyu. I caught my breath and answerd the phone making my voice in a serious tone.

"Sunggyu-sshi." I said. I noticed Jieun eonni looked at me. I turned to her and her brows furrowed, this time it was like she's puzzled.

"Hey, are you alright?" He said on the other line. His voice was full of worry and I can hear his deep sighs on the line.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm guessing you knew already." I said.

"Yeah, news flash of course." There was a long pause and I know he was just giving me space.

"Where are you?" He said.

"Somewhere, I have some things to settle." I answered.

"Do you want me to go to you? Or we'll just see later?" A sad smile is plastered on my face. I know in no time tears will flow, but I have to stop them. I shook my head and breathe in deeply.

"No, you don't have to. I have to go. Bye." Without waiting for his reply I ended the call and turned off my phone. I don't want to entertain more calls. I know that they'll just ask me about the same things.

"Was that Kim Sunggyu?" Jieun eonni said and I smiled at her and nodded.

I chose to be quiet the whole ride and in a few minutes we arrived at the airport.

We headed to the VIP lounge and all I have to do was to board the plane.

I bid my goodbye to them and hugged them one by one. I reached out to my mother who was crying.

"Eomma, I'm really sorry. You can visit me there anytime. And tell appa that I am really sorry. I couldn't do anything he wants me to. I tried my best to understand." I rubbed her back and hugged her tighter. She broke the hug and looked at me.

"Take care of your health and be well. Call me if you need anything. And don't worry about your father, I'll make him understand, okay?" I nodded and I got my bag and I waved to the three of them, Jiwon, Jieun and mother. Minhwan oppa grabbed my bag and asked me if I'm ready to which I just nodded and followed him inside the lounge. We were entertained by the flight attendants and escorted inside the airplane.

 

Sorry Sunggyu, sorry Appa. I have to do this. I'll be back and be better.

 

SUNGGYU'S POV

 

I left the company early and went straight to Heeseol's. When I arrived at her apartment floor, I saw Jaehyun hyung outside and he noticed me coming out of the elevator. I couldn't back out.

"Sunggyu, what are you doing here?" He was so surprised seeing me there.

"Hyung." I called out and walked towards him.

"I need to check if she's okay." I said. He knew our past so I don't have to explain more why I'm here.

"I was here an hour already no one's answering. I couldn't even contact her. Do you know where she is?" He looked at me and he looks so exhausted.

"No. But I talked to her this morning, she said she have to settle some things and needs to go somewhere." And that's when Sungjong came to my mind.

"Then where did she go?!" Hyung thugged Heeseol's door and I pull out my phone in my pocket and dialed Sungjong's number. Without any words I went to the elevator and waited for Sungjong to pick up his phone.

"Hyung." He said instantly when he picked up his phone.

"Do you know where Heeseol is?" I asked.

"No. I haven't talk to her for a long time now. Why , is everything alright? You sound worried." He said.

"She resigned from their company and now we can't contact her." I said as I reach down at the basement.

"She did? Wait, I'll contact her or Jiwon. She'll know for sure." Jiwon? Oh! Her bestfriend.

We ended the phone call and I called Myungsoo next.

When we talked that night, he told me about Heeseol going to an Ob-gyne in their hospital. And I need to know who is the guy he is talking about.

"Myungsoo, who is the guy?" I said trying to calm myself.

"What guy?" He said.

"The guy Heeseol went with in the hospital?!" I tried but now I can't.

"Hyung, even if you're Jaehyun hyung's brother I can't tell you."

"Just tell me the damn guy's name!" I shouted and walked towards my car. With a long pause he said it.

"Choi Minhwan."

"Minhwan? Your friend? Do you know where he lives or what?"

"Wait. Why? Hyung, you can't--"

"Just answer me! I need to find Heeseol!"

Myungsoo told me his place and I went there instantly.

Heeseol, where are you?! I can't let you go now. I failed once and once is enough.

 

When I got there, I went straight to his apartment and rang the doorbell. But no one is answering.

I called Heeseol's home phone expecting she's home now. But nothing.

There's one thing I know she'll do. She would runaway, maybe with this guy.

I went back to her apartment and hyung now was gone. I punched the code and went inside and went straight to her room. The bed was made but some of her things on her side table were gone. I had a bad feeling about this so I went to her walk-in closet.

. Most of her clothes were gone. Her vanity table was empty too. Even her drawers and shoe racks. Where did she go this time?! I sat down on the floor feeling helpless. Heeseol.

The feeling when she left me the first time came back and this time it hurts even more. It's because she's pregnant with our child. Yes. I know for certain that it's my child. Heeseol is not the kind of girl who would sleep with anyone. My life, once again, left me.

I closed my eyes trying to suppress the pain. I don't know where to find her. I barely know anyone who is close to her except her bestfriend and Sungjong.

If I had to travel the whole world to find her and take her back with me, I'll do it. I won't let anything come between us right now.

 

I am sitting here like an idiot for like forever and I felt myself drained. I shouldn't be like this, I have to be strong if I have to find her. I went to the kitchen to get some water before I leave. I noticed a mint green envelope on the table so I went near and my name was written there. I picked it up quickly and tore the envelope to reveal a stationary paper inside. It's from Heeseol.

 

Sunggyu oppa,

 

Annyeong!

If you're reading this, I might have left and went somewhere.

I am sorry. Sorry for leaving like this. I can't even tell you my proper words.

I know you're wondering where am I right now. But don't worry, I am in a good place.

Jagiya~ I know I don't call you 'Jagiya'-you might have noticed it and annoyed by it but still you don't force me to say it. I missed calling you that too, but I have to restrain myself because I don't want to hurt you more when I leave. I know that if I call you like that, it would ring to your mind and it would cause more pain.

I knew that this time will come- that I have to leave. Not only my family, the company, but you also. I didn't want this in the first place but things happen and they do their part in every story. It's fate that have taken us to this situation and you know that if it's meant to be, it will.

Oppa, I am not writing you this to ask you to wait for me. I am writing you this letter to let you go. If you find someone else worthy enough of your love, go to her. Don't wait for me anymore even if you wanted to. You deserve someone who is brave enough to be with you-to fight for you. I lack so much. So many things that the right girl for you would only fill. 

Sorry if I didn't even let you fight for me even if you said you will. Oppa, I couldn't do it. Because you will be hurt even more.

Thank you for everything you have given me. The happiness you brought to my life. The awesome experiences we shared together ever since we first met when I was eighteen. Thanks for painting my life with lively colors that no one else could. The laughters you brought. The shy smiles and blushes on my cheeks whenever you compliment me. Thank you for this life.

I would tell my whole story to you if I could meet you someday. And that someday, I hope you are with someone who loves you more than I could.

I heard your whispers when I sleep and I just wanted to hug you tighter and tell you. But I couldn't.

I love you, Kim Sunggyu, so much that it hurts. And again, Goodbye.

 

Lee Heeseol

 

"Ahhh!" Heeseol!! Why do you have to leave again! This time it was more painful. The life she was saying, she was referring to our child. What difference would it have been if I had asked her about it? If I told her I knew about our baby, would it stopped her?

I dialed her number again but nothing happened. She might have turned her phone off.

Do I have to wait years again? No, I have to find her. No matter what.

 

The next day, I asked my Secretary if he could contact Heeseol's secretary. I want to ask her because she knows surely about Heeseol.

So he arranged a meeting in a cafe near Lee's company building.

News are everywhere. Asking why did she left the company in such state and cancelling her wedding. Their company are in a hurry right now and also ours. Of course, our company will be affected also.

"Mr. Kim." Secretary Oh said as she approached me on my spot at the cafe. I stood up and motioned her to sit down on the chair.

"Do you want some coffee or juice?" I asked her but she just shook her head no.

"No, sir. Thanks. What do we need to talk about? Sorry but can we make it quick? I am needed in the company right now." She said nonstop.

"Okay sure." I nodded and breathe in and out deeply.

"It's about Lee Heeseol, if I could ask where did she go?" She looked away and sighed.

"Sorry but I don't think I can talk about it."

"Please."

"Sir I have to go." That's all she said and grabbed her purse and went out the cafe.

I followed her outside and caught her arm.

"Please I'm begging you. I need to talk to her." I said. She turned around and looked at me with suspecting eyes.

"Sir, I have an appointment to attend and I can't tell anything about her. So please excuse me I have to go." She run to her car and went in.

 

HEESEOL'S POV

 

"Are you okay?" I heard Minhwan said. He walks towards the railings and stood beside me as I sit still on this wooden chair, looking at nowhere in this cold evening night.

I smiled a little and sighed. Time really runs fast. See, it's been almost five months now since I left Korea and it felt like it was just yesterday. And I am just counting days now until I could deliver.

"Yeah." I paused and breathe in the fresh air.

"My baby just wanted some fresh air that's why. He's kicking so much. Are you done cooking?" I chuckled. My baby bump is so big and I couldn't even see my feet anymore. I smiled at the thought and touched my belly. He nodded and looked at me.

"He'll be good in taekwondo, I bet." We chuckled and then I felt the baby kick in again.

"Aw!" I said and touched where he kicked.

"Hey, are you okay?" Minhwan kneeled and touched my hand which was resting on the arm of the chair.

"Yes, he kicked again. He heard you and I guess he just confirmed it." I answered. Minhwan shook his head and smiled.

"Thanks oppa." I put my hand on top of his and gave him a brief squeeze. He nodded.

"I know you're too busy in Seoul but you still make time to visit us here. It is such a heavy burden on your side."

"Hey, Heeseol. What are you saying. It's all right, you know I care for the both of you and you're like my sister. I'll do anything I can." I smiled at his words.

"Does he still asks you about me?" I was refering to Sunggyu. He has been asking Minhwan for sometime now. I didn't know how did he knew about Minhwan. He had just asked him about me.

"Yes, of course. He has been so persistent."

Minhwan had to take indirect flights for sometime now so that no one could trace him since my father had to do it to find me. That's what my mom told us. There was even a time when Minhwan had to stay in Singapore for a week just to hide. And mother have to find good timing just to visit me, and she did only twice, first she stayed for like three days here and last was when she had to attend a conference and visited me for a day. It was so hard.

My father still wanted me to marry Jaehyun, hadn't cancelled my engagement with him. Maybe if I come back with my baby, he will stop.

"Do you still love him?"

I looked at Minhwan who was looking where I was looking few moments ago.

"Hmm." I paused and smiled.

"I do. More and more each day. Especially now that the baby is coming. I don't know how's that even possible, we're not even together."

"Do you not need him?" He said. Same tone as the first one.

A sigh escaped from my lungs and I bit my lower lip.

"As much as I love him, oppa. I couldn't say no to that."

"Then why don't you want to tell him where are you? Do you know that he knows you're pregnant?" He said and we looked at each other.

"Did he? He told you?" He nodded.

Wow. How did he knew about it? Did someone told him? Did Jiwon? Or Jieun eonni? I know he hadn't notice me when we were together because it wasn't that noticeable. Sunggyu.

"The last time he talked to me, he was begging so much that he have to say that."

"What did you tell him?"

"Well, of course, as per usual, I told him I didn't know where are you and I don't know what he's talking about." He shook his head.

"Heeseol, he's been suffering so much. If you see him, he looked so stressed. He's arguing so much with his brother too."

Minhwan have been persuading me to tell Sunggyu. That I have to at least tell him how I am. But I am too stubborn and didn't want to.

How did he knew about Sunggyu? I told him when he called the first time Sunggyu asked him about me.

"It's not that I am not willing to raise the kid like my own. I told you I will, the first time we knew about him. But he deserve to know his father even Sunggyu deserves to know about his baby."

That's his line. He always say that to me.

"I know, you always remind me that."

"I do because I have to." He countered.

"Look, the next time he'll ask me, I will tell him. I couldn't consent you anymore."

"You said that too for how many times now." I chuckled.

"This time it's real."

"That's a new line." I said and shook my head as I chuckle. He chuckled at my humor too and raised his hands.

"I give up." He shouted.

"Come on in. It's getting colder, and we're hungry." I said and touched my belly as I try to stand up. He held my shoulder and assisted me.

 

It's already midnight and I can't still sleep. I have been thinking about Minhwan's words. It's the only time it affected me like this, back then whenever he tells me those words, I can just shrug them off then go on. But now, it's different. Maybe because our due is near and I am thinking who'll be there if I needed someone and Sunggyu knew about me. Minhwan can't just come here right away and leave his company there. Mother can't, unless he tell father about my state and go here. Well, that can be! Father can't do anything anymore. Youngjoo eonni is just a block away and it's a relief, she visits me everyday. Sometines she sleeps over with her daughter leaving his husband and son in their house, but he is okay with it. Sometimes her whole family goes here. I have someone here with me who does the house chores for me, so I don't do them myself.

 

I have to sleep now. I needed rest, my baby needs rest.

 

Oh, how did I know it's a boy? I went to the doctor to confirm the gender and it happened to be a boy. I am so excited to see him in person. We also bought his things right after I've known his gender and it was delightful. The room opposite mine is his room so I had the walls painted with baby blue and mint green accents. I wonder whose eyes did he got or nose he have or his lips. But whoever they maybe, I just hope he is healthy and well.

I smiled to that thought and looked at my phone with my photo with Sunggyu.

"I miss you." I whispered and closed my eyes to sleep.

 

"Oppa, why did you bought so many toys?" I asked him as he places all the toys in a corner at the nursery.

"I can't help it. I just bought anything that looked nice and cute. If it's enough, I'll just hawl the whole store." He chuckled and put the last teddy bear in place.

"I wonder if you got your own son or daughter. Maybe you'll build a castle for them." We laughed at the thought. He looks so excited. He is so happy looking at the toys in front of him.

"When you go back to Seoul, you should bring these all."

"I will, because you bought them all."

I have decided that maybe a year or two, I'll bring my baby back with me to Seoul. I'll just raise him there whatever it takes. I have enough savings for us and maybe I could put up a business or invest it.

"So, have you made up your mind?" I looked at him wondering what he was talking about.

"Here. Call him if ever you have changed your mind." He was handing me a calling card. I grabbed it and read that it was Sunggyu's.

"He gave it to me months ago and I thought it's the right time to give it to you." I bit my lip.

I stared at the cream-colored paper on my hand. Contemplating whether to call him just to say hi. But I have a promise to myself that I won't talk to him unless I'm back in Seoul.

I tossed the paper on my drawer. I couldn't do it. I told him to move on. I told him that he should find someone knew. And if I call him now, I would just lie to my words on the letter. But honestly speaking, I was. The reason I write them on the paper was that I could tell him those words easier than saying them in person. I know if I have said them that way, I would just break down and runaway with him. That would ruin my plans.

I have given him time to forget me, but I think the distance and longing he feels right now just makes him hard to do it. I think I did the wrong move. Did I wrote the wrong words? Should I have just wrote harsh words? Or talked to him and broke up with him face-to-face?

----

 

Annyeong!!

ahhaah!!

INFINITE'S BAD WAS SO DAEBAK I COULDN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT..!! THE WHOLE ALBUM WAS AWESONE!! THE SONGS AND EVERYTHING!!

 

INFINITE IS SO JJANG! AHHAHA

 

how's everyone?. I hope you're all doing well..here's another chapter that I have been writing for a week now and I had just finished it this morning~~ I hope you liked it =)

 

Thank you everyone! for subscribing and reading~ and talking to me on the comment box~ I am enjoying every part of it~! =)).. I hoe I could make more friends through writing here in AFF~ =))

 

INFINITE JJANG! INSPIRITS JJANG!

 

12:30 PM KST 24 JULY 2015