HEESEOL'S POV

 

I felt a heavy thing draping on my waist and my head is aching so badly when I opened my eyes. The sunlight is shining abundantly making my room warm. Wait, what? My room? When did I enter here? I glanced down on my waist finding that I'm and a pair of arms encircling me. I can feel someone's chest behind me, heaving softly and calmly against my back.

My eyes went wide and closed them tightly. Shizz, I got it! I know what it is now! I calmed myself, breathing in and out deeply.

"Good morning." I heard him say in a whisper. I am totally freaking out here. I don't know what to say!! How did in heaven I ended up making this?!!

I turned around to face him.

His face was something I don't expect. He looked so serious and tired. He should look so smiley, but what is this? Maybe he has some things going on his mind.

"Hi." I whispered. His arms were still around my waist, holding me a little bit closer than necessary.

"Are you alright? How do you feel?" He looked straight to my eyes and lifted his other hand to my left cheek and caressed it.

"Hmm." I closed my eyes and breathe in deeply. "I don't know." That's true. . I really don't know.

"I'm sorry." I opened my eyes upon hearing his words. Now it's my turn to look into his eyes.

Like reading my mind he answered immediately.

"I'm sorry if I had you do this." I pulled a little away from him and furrowed my brows. Didn't he like it, did he?

"Look, I love you Heeseol and yes, I love you. I wanted what we had. I hope you do too." He brought his hand on my cheeks again and caressed it.

"I don't regret anything, if that's what you wanted to know." We just stared at each other.

I felt a tear escaped from my eye.

"Why are you crying?" He wiped the tear and kissed my forehead.

"It's just too much." I stopped the incoming sob. "I don't know how to face things now, it's more complicated than you thought." How can I face Jaehyun now?

"I know. I'll be right here with you. Let's stand up together." I shook my head and another tear came again.

"This is wrong, we're wrong." I pushed his hand from my face.

"Heeseol. Do you love me?" I looked at his eyes thinking what would I say.

Then a phone rang. It's the house phone ringing. I blinked my eyes and pushed him away.

"I have to get that. Turn back. Don't look at me." I said. He just nodded.

I pulled out from the bed taking the bedsheet with me then I saw his pants on the floor so I picked it up and throw it on the bed. I felt a sting between my thighs and made me realize everything that happened last night. My feelings now are twisted. 

"Wear those." I mumbled without looking back.

The phone was on the table near my bedroom door so it was easy to get it.

"Hello." I said.

"Ma'am is everything alright? I can't reach you on your phone." I heard Jieun eonni on the other line.

"Yeah." I looked at Sunggyu. He was sitting on the bed facing the opposite side.

"Is there something wrong?" I said.

"I sent the documents thru email this morning." She answered back.

"Ok, I'll have them checked. And please clear my schedules for today. Do I have anything important tomorrow?" 

"No Ma'am. Ok, I'll clear your schedules. But, are you feeling well?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I moved a bit and I lost control so I had to hold onto the table. Sunggyu got a hold on me.

"I'll call you later." I ended the phone call immediately and stood up straight.

"Are you alright?" Sunggyu held my shoulders. He is topless. His body looks so fluffy. I felt my cheeks turned red so I just looked away.

"I told you to not to look at me." I said. He cleared his throat and removed his hands on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I had you experience this."

I looked at the space between his neck and shoulder which had red marks. Did I do that to him? Ah! Heeseol! What in the world were you thinking last night.?!

I need to get away from this so I walked to the bathroom immediately leaving him standing there.

When I reached it, I immediately locked the door and breathe in and out deeply and slowly. I looked at the mirror and noticed the red marks on my neck and some other parts of my body.

I made my way to the shower and washed my body with the warm water that cascades freely.

My head ached thinking about all that happened last night.

When I was done and wore new set of clothes, I went out of the bathroom to find out Sunggyu was nowhere to be found.

I walked a little, carefully because of my legs and between them were a little bit sore. I opened the door and headed to the living room and I smelled coffee all over the house.

"Oh, I'm sorry I barged into your kitchen." I heard Sunggyu said when he saw me walking towards the kitchen.

"It's alright." I mumbled quietly.

"Here's for you. Do you need creamer or anything else?" He pulled the chair on the table and I sat. He placed a cup of coffee in front of me and some toasts.

"No, it's ok." Sunggyu sat opposite me and looked at him as I sip on the coffee.

"How do you feel?" I put down the cup and breathe in deeply and looked at him. "I mean, how does your body feel." He said immediately.

"I'm fine. Just a little bit sore, you know." I shyly admitted. I can see he stopped a smirk to come out from his mouth and just sipped from his cup.

"Do you have any appointments today?" I asked him. Wondering why he haven't left yet.

"No. I just can't leave you here." I eyed him and raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's ok. If you have somewhere to go. You can go." He shook his head.

"Heeseol, can we talk about us?" When he said that, my phone rang and I just stood up and went to my bag which was on the couch. I bet he tidied up the living room when I was in the shower. Our clothes might have scattered everywhere.

It's Jaehyun calling.

"Hi." I breathed and looked at Sunggyu on the dining area who was watching me.

"Hi, good morning. Are you busy today?" I heard Jaehyun on the other line.

"I'm not, but I'm home resting. Why?"

"Good. I'm on my way there. I'll pick you up. Mother and father wanted us to have lunch at home." I widened my eyes. What should I do?! I have been cheating to this man. No. He doesn't own me so it won't be cheating. But, I did something that's wrong, wrong for someone who is engaged to another man.

"Hey. Are you there?" He chuckled.

"Yeah. Okay, I'll just get ready." I ended up the phone call and walked towards Sunggyu in the dining area.

"Jaehyun will be here anytime soon." I said straightly.

"So, I have to leave." He said sarcastically.

"Sunggyu."

"Yeah, I know." He stood up and went to the living room picked up his things. I followed and watched him do his things. And when he was about to open the door he looked back at me. He paced towards me and pulled me into an embrace.

"I love you." He whispered in my hair and kissed my head.

He walked towards the door and went out leaving me alone again.

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I loved what we had, but it's wrong. We shouldn't have done that. I know well that he love me but it was not enought. It's not a good reason for us to do it. I know to myself too that I love him, but I shouldn't tell him and keep it to myself and move on.

I feel guilty sitting beside Jaehyun in front of his parents. I feel I am unworthy. I was just stopping my tears to flow and restraining myself to run away from here. When the door on the dining room opened revealing Sunggyu. He stopped with a surprised face and we looked at each other. I was the one who looked away and he started walking to greet his parents. He sat beside his mother and cleared his throat.

"So, everyone's here already." Mr. Kim said and started eating his meal. We followed but I can feel that I lost my appetite but munched up my food anyway.

My hands were trembling and I just looked down, not wanting to see Sunggyu who was sitting exactly opposite me.

"Heeseol, darling. Are you alright?" Mrs. Kim said and I lifted my head to look at her.

"Yes." I said and nodded.

"You looked pale though. Have you had a good night sleep?" She followed.

"Yeah, you looked pale when I picked you up." Jaehyun added.

"I'm alright. Don't worry that much." I saw Sunggyu looking at me intently and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Do you want something else to eat?" Mr. Kim asked me but I just shook my head no and smiled at him.

"Thank you though." I mumbled. We continued to eat and they just talked. Me and Sunggyu were quiet and just answered every question directed to each of us. When the lunch was done, I excused myself to the powder room to freshen up.

When I was about to close the door someone stopped it from closing and opened it wide. Sunggyu went inside and closed the door and locked it.

"What are you doing?" I glared at him.

"You don't look fine." He held both of my cheeks.

"I'm fine." I removed his hands on my face and looked at him.

"And you didn't ate well. Have you had your breakfast when I left?"

"I did." I simply said.

"Please let me go." I pushed him and went out of the powder room.

After that, we just had a little talk at the living room.

"So Jaehyun." Mr. Kim put down his cup of tea and looked at Jaehyun who was sitting beside me. "When is your ideal date for the wedding?." Jaehyun held my hand looked at me.

"Well, as soon as possible." I looked away and drank some of the tea on my cup. I looked at Sunggyu but he just rolled his eyes on his brother's statement.

Sunggyu excused himself and said he has to go somewhere. He said he don't have any appointments today but he just left.

Maybe he can't stand hearing these things, well me too.

Time had passed slowly but thankfully it's now time to go home.

"You sure you don't want to spend the night here Heeseol?" Mrs. Kim asked me as she held both of my hands and smiled at me.

"It's not that I don't want Ma'am, but I have to leave for work early tomorrow and I still had things to be done tonight.." I smiled at her. "Maybe next time." She nodded and kissed my cheeks.

"So glad to have you dear. And call me 'eomma'. You'll be my daughter-in-law soon." I nodded at her and smiled.

I bid my goodbyes to them and Jaehyun drove me back home.

"Did you have a good time?" I heard him asked as we stopped in front of my apartment complex.

"Yeah." I simply said. Jaehyun went out and opened my door.

"Goodnight." I said. He pulled me into an embrace and then he kissed my cheeks.

"Good night too." I nodded and walked away from him.

 

--

 

I have been feeling weirdly these passed few weeks. Maybe it was my exhaustion due to company issues and the wedding preparation.

"Hey." Minhwan waved his hands in front of me pulling me out of my trans.

"You've been so faraway." He joked and put down the caramel macchiato he ordered for me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded at him.

"Oppa."

"Hmm?."

"Nothing." I looked down and sighed

"Hey. Is there something wrong? I told you I'll help you with everything. What is it?"

"I really don't want to get married with Jaehyun." I confessed.

"I know." He nodded. "Do you want to runaway?"

"I don't have any reason to runaway and I can't runaway." I shook my head in defeat that I could not do anything with it.

I heard Minhwan sigh.

"We should have dated, you know. Many people have said we look good together."

I just laughed at him and he just laughed too. Yeah. Many have said that. But we're not an item though.

"At least if you have to marry me, you know me." I shook my head again and just chuckled.

"I'm a president of a company too. Why not me?" He continued.

"You know oppa, you're so talkative." I rolled my eyes at him.

Here it goes again.

"Excuse me." I stood up and run to the bathroom. I felt that I have to puke, my stomach's turning upside down.

I really should go to the doctor. But I don't have time. I went back to our table.

"Are you alright?" Minhwan eyed me. I nodded and continued drinking my caramel macchiato.

"Maybe it's just the thing I ate last night." Minhwan nodded and we continued talking. He teased me again about marrying him instead but I just laughed it out. He wasn't a bad prospect though. If I'm not his close friend, I might have liked him.

"Just call me when you needed something, okay baby girl?" He winked at me. We were standing outside my door. He accompanied me up to my floor because he said I don't look fine and I might faint somewhere.

"Baby girl?" I punched his chest playfully.

"Why? You're my baby girl. The one I took care of when she doesn't know what to do." He pinched my nose.

"Go home." I chuckled.

"Yeah. Go inside now." I nodded and went inside my apartment.

 

--

Jiwon visited me on my office with a basket of chocolates.

"Woah. Why do you have box of chocolates there?" I stood up from my seat and followed her to the couches.

"Of course I have to give you these. I was roaming around when I saw these and I thought you'll like them." She leaned back on the couch looking so tired.

"When did you came back?" I opened one of the boxes and revealed different kinds of chocolates laid beautifully.

"This morning." She mumbled and closed her eyes.

"What? And you haven't slept yet?"

"I'm jet-lagged. But I have to fix my body clock soon."

I picked one and put it on my mouth. Wow. It's delicious.

"This tastes good." I mumbled as I munch up the chocolate.

"I know." She smiled. "That's why I bought you these."

"Thank you." I smiled at her. She came from Belgium from a two-week business trip. That's why I haven't been in touch with her these days.

"So how's the wedding preparations? Sorry I can't help you these passed few days." She held both of my hands but I just nodded and smiled at her.

"It's alright." She nodded and looked at me well.

"You look like you gained weight."

"What?" I widened my eyes when she said that. I didn't noticed it.

"Do I?" I looked at myself on the mirror.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Did you stressed yourself out and ate too many?"

"Maybe." I chuckled but she just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Then I'd be having them back. I want you to look y on your wedding." She playfully picked all of the boxes of chocolates but I held her hands and shook my head. Showing her my aegyo.

"No. Please." I pouted. "I'll treat you for lunch." I said. She smiled and offered her hand to me.

We went out to a Japanese restaurant because she said she missed eating japanese food.

"Order anything you want. It's on me because you bought me chocolates." I winked at her and she acted like a child when she heard that.

When our orders came, she happily ate.

"Aren't you going to eat?" She picked a piece of sashimi and offered me to eat it.

I eyed it and forced myself to eat it.

"See, it's delicious." She smiled at me. I nodded and chewed it carefully.

"You shouldn't worry about tour weight. You lose easily."

"Yeah, right. But I don't have any appetite. Just eat all of these." I sipped on the Iced tea and smiled at her.

"We ordered good for two people. How am I suppose to eat all of these?."

"You can eat them all. I know you can." She pouted cutely and just continued to eat.

Ugh! I think Sashimi doesn't suit my tastebuds today. Even sushi. It's not that I don't want to eat but my mouth just don't want to receive any of these foods right now.

"Jiwon-ah, let's buy some tteokbokki later, ok?" I said.

"You should have told me that you want street food today." She pouted again but she just nodded and continued eating.

When she was done eating, we went to a streetfood stall.

"Uhmm" I glanced at the trays of food before me and tipped my chin.

"Please give me five of this." Pointing to the fishcakes skewered in a hot pot of broth. "And a bowl of this. And yeah, this, I want five of these also." Referring to the tteokbokki and the corndogs.

"Woah. Heeseol. It's enough for the two of us. I can just eat one of each." Jiwon shook her head.

"It's all mine. You order yours, I'll pay." Her eyes went wide and I just nodded and smiled. I looked at the food again and the ahjumma handed me a tray containing my orders.

"I can't believe you Heeseol. You really ate those?" I nodded and wiped my lips. I ended up eating four times the first one I ordered. I don't know but I felt like eating them all.

"It's not like you don't know I eat that much." I smiled and she chuckled at my words.

"Yeah right." She shook her head and I called the ahjumma for the bill. I payed for our meal and we decided to go back to the company.

I wanted to tell her everything that had happened. Me and Sunggyu. And what we have done. How I feel about Jaehyun. But I can't bring myself to speak. She will scold me, for sure. She'll kill Sunggyu. Not literally, but I know what she's capable of.

"I had a wonderful lunch Heeseol. Thanks to you." She smiled sweetly. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Thanks for the chocolates."

"You know what, I won't stay longer. I needed to rest now, I still have a meeting early tomorrow. I just wanted to see you that's why I went here." I nodded and stood up accompanying her to the door of my office.

"Thanks for visiting even though you're so tired." I hugged her.

"Yeah. I missed you, that's why." We broke the hug and smiled at each other.

 

I woke up the next day feeling sickness on my stomach so I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Maybe it was because I ate too much yesterday. I washed my face and brushed my teeth when I heard my phone alarmed.

I picked it up. It's my monthly period alarm saying that it's my estimated last day. Wait, what? Last day? But I haven't had my---

I widened my eyes and put a hand on mouth, could it be because---

Oh no.

I rushed outside. My whole body is shaking. I went to the pharmacy and bought some pregnancy test. No it can't be. No, I was just late for few days. I can't be.

 

I waited patiently for the result of the first one. Few moments later.

"Positive." I whispered. My heart beat twice as much as it was beating before. No.

I felt a tear escaped my eyes and I shook my head. No wonder my stomach felt sick everytime, I vomit occassionally. I'm also picky with the food I eat these days. Symptoms I never knew could lead onto this.

I tried every single test and all of them turned out to be positive.

And it's the last one.

"Positive." I whispered again. I closed my eyes and just sat down on my bathroom's floor. What have I done?

I am sure it's Sunggyu's. Who else would?

That night was my first. He was my first.

The blood on my bed sheet proves it.

I swallowed really hard and think things through. How will I tell my parents about this? What will they say?

I have baby on my womb. It's a precious life. And I can say it was out of love and mistake. And no matter what, I'll have this baby, that's the first decision right now. She or he didn't do anything wrong.

I heard my phone ring again and I looked at it. It's Jieun.

"Hi." I breathe.

"Can you cancel anything today and even for tomorrow?" I cut her, not even finishing anything she has to say. She said ok and I ended up the phone call. Maybe the sound of my voice told her that I wasn't okay so she didn't asked me anymore.

What would I do now?

My phone ring again. Who is this now? I looked at it and it says Minhwan.

"Hey. Are you free today? Are you at home?" I heard his jolly voice on the other line.

"I'm home. Why?" I said flatly.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm outside your house. I have brought you food." He said. Worry is evident on his voice. He's here? What would I do?

I opened my door revealing a worried Minhwan holding a box.

"Heeseol-ah. Are you alright?" He put down the box and pulled me in a hug.

"Oppa." I cried on his chest and hugged him tighter.

"Hey. Why are you crying?" He caressed my head and hugged me even tighter.

He lead us inside and told me to seat on the couch as he prepare the food his mother cooked. When we were in the US, she often cooked for us whenever she visits Minhwan. She treated me like her own daughter.

When he came back, he was holding a plate of different rice cakes and placed them on the coffeetable.

"Eomma thought of you and cooked them for you. You know what, everything she cooked this morning were all for you. I' m getting really jealous." He chuckled but I just eyed the food in front of me.

"Heeseol-ah, are you sick?" He placed the back of his hand on my forehead. I shook my head and then tears came running to my cheeks again.

"Is there a problem?" He asked me. I looked at him in the eyes finding the right words to tell him.

"Oppa." He shifted on his seat and faced me fully.

"How can you help me?"

"Any way I can. What is it?" He held both of my cheeks and wiped the tears.

"Oppa. I made a mistake." He shushed me and wiped my tears again, waiting for me to say what it was.

"I'm-- I'm. . . pregnant." I sobbed hardly. I was waiting for something but he just hugged me. I know he was surprised but I think he thought that a hug would always be reliable in this kinds of situation.

"It's alright. Why are you crying? You guys are getting married soon." He caressed my hair and hugged me tighter.

I shook my head.

"No." I said. He broke the hug and looked at me.

"What do you mean by no?"

 

"It's not Jaehyun's child."

His eyes went wider.

"Then whose child is this? Are you dating someone else?"

I shook my head. He closed his eyes and stood up from the couch.

He paced slowly on the living room and I just sobbed quietly.

"Ok. I know you won't tell me anything yet." He mumbled and looked at me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Does anyone else knows about this? The man. The father of that child. Have you told him?" I shook my head and wiped my tears. No way I will tell him.

"If that's the case. You might have a deep reason." He walked again . And after few minutes he paced towards me and sat beside me.

"Heeseol. I know it sounds absurd but marry me." He held my hands and looked at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"I said marry me."

"Oppa."

"If you love the father of that child, you would have told him and fight for the two of you. And the only way I can help you was this. Look, I can compete with Jaehyun to your father."

"Oppa. It's not like that. I can't just take you away from your freedom. I can't let you marry me when you have someone else in your heart."

"Heeseol. It's not that important right now. I wanted to help you. You have done big things in my life and I know it's the only way I can repay you." He looked at me.

"Remember when I was on the verge throwing away my life, you were the one who saved me. Heeseol, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of you."

"Oppa, you don't have to do this. I did that because you are important to me."

"No. I don't know how to repay you. And now that you needed my help, let me take the responsibility of your life and that child. It's because of you that I'm alive, let me take care of you."

I looked at him. Yeah, maybe it's the only option right now. If my father knew about this and I can't tell him who was the father, he would go till the ends of the earth to find him. And if I told him that it was Sunggyu's, he might kill him. I guess I have no option now.

"But how are we going to tell them about it?"

"I'll make a way. Don't worry." He kissed my forehead and hugged me.

 

---

 

Hi everyone!!

Long time no post AHAHHA!!

so here it is. .What do you think?

 

I'm planning to post some cut scenes, I mean some parts that wasn't posted. I didn't post them before because I wanted to make the story move faster. But I felt guilty not posting them because they (may) contain some important events which lead the characters where they are right now and why and how every thing is happening.

 

Please anticipate for the next chapters. We still have a long way to go! Haha!

Yes! We still have a max of ten chapters or so left.

 

Thank you everyone!!

 

Comment :)