"You got a nice place here, huh." Sunggyu said as we walk inside my apartment. He said he wanted to talk to me peacefully so I accepted it and let him in. Why not.

"Yeah, I think so too." I motioned him to sit on the living room. He complied.

"What do you want to drink? Or eat?." I put down my bag on top of the cabinet near the kitchen.

"Anything would be fine." I heard him say. When I went back to the living room, I saw him looking at my picture which was on the wall. I cleared my throat and he looked back. He walk back to his seat as I sat down on the couch opposite him.

"I am sorry about the other night." He looked down on his lap.

"It's alright. People make mistakes."

"Heeseol. About what you saw that night-well, I mean years ago- it was. ."

"It all happened in the past now Sunggyu-sshi, as what I have said, we don't need to dig them up now."

"Hear me out. It was all a mistake. She wasn't my girlfriend, because it was you all those times." I looked at him and breathe in carefully.

"Then why would she say that?"

"Because that's what she thought."

"Listen. A girl won't assume anything unless you show her motives and things. It was you. Maybe, you have made her think that." I blinked at him. He sighed.

"And a girl sometimes make something impossible out of it. She overthinks." He answered as we make eye contact. I looked away.

"Then why did you stop contacting me? Why didn't you stay in touch with me?" Silence. There was silence when I asked him that.

"That. ." He barely whispered.

"See, you don't even know what to say." I said totally irritated by the fact that he doean't even have the words to tell me. I am not surprised if he doesn't even know his fault.

"You know I'm busy. With everything, the company, at school." He explained.

"Just an effort Sunggyu. Just a little effort to text or call me. Ask if I was still breathing waiting for you. It won't hurt, right?." He looked at me with a sorry face and he closed his face.

"I have to fight for everything, and now including you." I heard him say.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you would understand, that if I fight for the company you'll know."

"How could I know if you won't even tell me anythung about those things before!"

"Sorry if I couldn't. I wanted to have the company, but it looks like I lost you both. And now, all I wanted was to win you back." I saw a tear escape from his eyes as he smiled bitterly at me.

"I thought you'll still hold on no matter what. That at the end of the day, I will always have you waiting for me. I thought if you hold onto me, win or lose the company, I still have you." I suppressed my tears but nothing.

"You know how much I waited for you everyday back then? Do you know how hard I tried to be patient with everything? Months passed, Sunggyu, months have passed. I thought days and weeks will only pass and you'll call. But it turned out to be months." I gulped down and wiped my tears.

"I was excited to see you that night, but only to find myself in a situation I have been scared of for nights in my dreams." He looked at me.

"You were wrong, it was a mistake, Heeseol-ah. It was always you and now it will always be you."

My heart raced at his words. I know I am in fault too. I didn't hear him out that night. I just went with my emotions and never heard his explanation. I was too shocked, surprised and overwhelmed by waht I saw and heard. He stood up and sat beside me. I backed off not wanting any contact from him. But he grabbed my left hand and touched the ring, it was the one he gave me.

"I see you didn't wore what hyung gave you." He smiled while tears are b on his face. I should have just removed it.

"Sorry for breaking that promise. I don't know if you'll still believe me afyer this, but Heeseol, give me another chance to prove this." He held both of my hands while looking at me.

"No, I can't do this. I am engaged to your brother. We can't." I shook my head as ai sob.

"Heeseol. Let's fight for each other. If we do this hand in hand, we can overcome it."

"It's not that easy. What if I don't what to fight? What if I don't want this anymore?" I need to push you Sunggyu, I am really sorry.

"Then why would you still wear this? Why those tears are coming out from your eyes?."

"It's because it hurts so much that I can't seem to forget everything."

"Then don't." He inched his face towards mine and felt his lips with mine. I pushed him away and shook my head.

"No, Sunggyu. We shouldn't suppose to do this." I shook my head. We are looking at each other's eyes. I can see the longing evident to his.

"Do you still love me?" He said seriously.

Yes, I do. But we must not be in love. I shook me head again. Don't be like this, you only make it hard for me.

"No." I said firmly.

He scoffed and chuckled.

"Woah~ who am I fooling by the way." He looked away from me and wiped his tears.

"Sunggyu, I'm--"

"No, it's alright." He stood up.

"So, I thibk this is really goodbye, huh?" He went to my door and opened it leaving me alone in this house.

The moment he closed the door was the moment I felt the great pain. Compared to that night three years ago, it's much more right now. Knowing that we officially ended this. Sunggyu has been my life. And during that three years we're apart, I needed him more and more each day. It's like he is the air and water for me to live. But now, I die. I am really sorry Sunggyu.

--

It's been almost a week since that night. It hurts that it's really the end for the both of us. Back then, I thought I can be with him someday, but that someday was now, and I was wrong. I thought that it was childish that we ended it that way that night years ago, but now I realized, it was worth it. We can easily let go of each other because of that night. I think it was fated that it happened so that when we the time comes that we can talk things out, we can easily end and let go. I am both relieved and in pain. Relieved that we might nit have ended it peacefully, we know to ourselves it's the end. I thought I can fight but when I saw his face, like a coward, I backed off. I can feel that he wants me back, but I wasn't sure if I feel the same way. There are many buts on my mind. Too many of them that I thought I will feel tired saying them. And I was wrong. They wer e easier to say now, easier to put them on my sentences. I'm in pain, too, and it's obvious why.

Right now, I think starting off with Jaehyun will not hurt, right? Maybe, if I can give it a chance, it will be good. If I would lit a spark for us, it won't be that bad, maybe. Just, I need time though. And I think, he's fine with it. I wanted to see the possibilities in us, and that's if there will be an 'us'. Though, it's kind of awkward for me to start liking him, I'll give it a try. But what if--- naah~ I don't want to think it that way. I just hope I can have enough time before I give up. Time to move on completely and time to face up things the way they are right now. I am sorry Sunggyu. I needed you more and more each dag, but I have to live without that kind of need. And I hope you too.

-- 

Hey! So yeah, here's one hahahaha!!

And, I was writing this for the whole week, thinking about things. And when I was on my litereature class this afternoon, and the thoughts I was thinking about became clearer to me as I listen to our class. It's interesting! Hahah!

It's a little bit short chapter right now, but if I am fully sure about the event on the next scene, then I will post it right away. Sooner the better, right?

Hahaha

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

22SEPTEMBER2014

10:56PM