Sometimes we play the waiting game, hoping that as we wait,

We will never get tired of playing it.

“It has been a month since you left, Amber.” Henry said to himself, looking outside, hoping that Amber decided to go back. “Since I let you go.” He sighed, as he remembered the last time he saw Amber – as she kissed him goodbye, as she told him, she loves him with all her heart. He acted that he was asleep that morning that she left, as she told him that she is leaving to find herself again, to be the Amber that he fell in love with that he loves with all his heart, as she told him to wait for her. “I am sorry, Henry.” Amber said as she closed the door behind her. “That was the last time that I saw you.”

-x-

Tired of looking over my shoulder,

Because all I can do for now is look at you from a far.

Amber’s feet dragged her to their house. Whether she admit or not, deep inside, she really wanted to see him, how he was doing since she left. She really wanted to know since she misses him. She hid herself as she looked at Henry. She walked back and forth, indecisive, contemplating to herself, stopping herself to run towards Henry, hugging him, kissing him. Closed her eyes, took a deep breath, reminiscing their life together, how happy she was back then, hoping that one day she could be that Amber that fell in love with Henry since the day that she met him. “Soon, Henry. Soon. I promise.”

Henry knew that Amber was looking at him from afar, but not letting Amber see him noticing her because for now this was the only way he could see her again. He watched her as she looked at him at the corner of his eye. “How I wish to look at your eyes again, to say how much I love you.” Henry thought, as he forced himself to look to another direction to avoid looking straight at her. He stopped himself from running towards her, hugging her close to him like he always did. “This is all I could do for now. I promise to myself that I will wait for you.”

-x-

Listening to the clock ticking, watching its every move,

Waiting for it to waste its seconds away

So I could go back.

“There are times that I wanted to go back, go back to the days that I could look at you and say ‘I love you’ at the same time.” Amber said to herself. “I know that you know I am looking at you right now. I know you that well.” Amber said, as she wiped her tears. “Thank you for letting me leave that morning, as I know that you are awake that time and only pretended, for me to finally have the courage to leave you behind, to leave everything behind.” Amber continued, as she almost choked at her words as the tears kept on falling. “I know myself that I could have not left if you were awake that time, as I will surely be drawn back to your arms, and be lost forever.”

Henry clenched his fist, as he noticed Amber crying. He stopped himself from crying and from running to her. “How I wish I could wipe those tears away, as I always did but these are all part of the process of finding yourself again, waiting for you to be Amber again.” Henry thought, as Amber’s words echoed in his mind.

-x-

Wasting my time waiting for a specific moment,

A moment that I knew I missed to notice,

A missed opportunity that could make me feel happy again.

“I am sorry Henry. I truly am.” Amber said, never stopped crying. “All I know for now that I wanted to go back to my old self again.” That what made her realize that she needed to leave him.

“I want to relive our past so I could prevent this from happening, so we could avoid what is happening to us right now, so we could have a future together.”

-x-

Sorry for making you wait for me, as I wait for me to be myself again.

I think I lost myself along the way

Because I only thought of you, not us,

Because I was too happy being with you,

That I loved you too much, that I forgot about who I was.

“I fell in love with the thought of us being together, and forget about the thing that made us exist,” Amber still remembered what she wrote in the letter she left for Henry. How could she forget?

“Without you and me, us will not exist at all, and will be just like a pigment of our imagination.” Amber continued to reminisce.

“I lost myself along the way. I lost the sight of what is important to me, to you, to the both of us.”

-x-

One day, I will be me again.

I promise.

We will be “us” again.

For now, let us just play the waiting game,

-x-