the strategist by shinaechan



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 8/10
Originality: Not the most original title ever, but I think it is really unique for some reason. Maybe because of the noun 'Strategist'? (1/2) Relevance: The whole story is about the bet and strategies so I can see how the title is relevant. I like the fact that it isn't 'Strategists' because there is only one true strategist here! (4/4)
Attractiveness: Not the most attractive title ever, but I still think that readers will be intrigued. (3/4)

Description & Foreword: 10/10
Relevance: I have nothing to say. Everything is mentioned in the story. (5/5)
Attractiveness: Maybe it is just me, but I find the character profiles unnecessary. I don't mind all that much though. I like the description a lot, and I think all the readers who read it will read the story right away! (5/5)

Setting: 3/5
Relevance: The setting isn't really relevant although I guess the thing about doing it in public is relevant in some way. (3/5)

Characters: 17/20
Originality: The characters seem really unoriginal at first and to be honest, I thought that the two will have a happily ever after ending in the end. I am so surprised by the ending and it totally made me want to salute Rose! I am glad that she finds some way to get back at V, and that made the marks rise. (3/5)
Believability: Wow, I wonder why V actually thinks that he can get a heart through . I think he doesn't get it that physical attraction is entirely different from love. Anyway, Rose is believable. She doesn't love him, but she is physically attracted to him which is okay since she is technically a student. She is prideful and does not give in easily, but she has a limit like normal human beings. As for V, I think that it is kinda unbelievable that he goes around taking girls as they are technically students. Other than that, I am fine. (14/15)

Plot: 18/25
Originality: Bets are no longer original, but the ending more than makes up for it. (3/5)
Believability: I have mentioned most things in Characters: Believability so I have nothing much to say here. (10/10)
Theme: This is a fanfic so there really isn't any theme. Well, maybe there is. Physical attraction is not the same as love, and Rose should totally tell that to V. I don't think that the story is romantic though, it just seems hilarious to me. (5/10)

Flow: 9/10
Consistency: The flow is great, although I feel that the ending is a bit abrupt as much as I like it. (9/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 8/10
Grammar: There are some minor mistakes.
"In the game of Wit vs. Will only one can win." - "In this game of Wit vs. Will, only one can win." I think this is more of my personal opinion because I feel that this sentence will be better.
"...once caught their leader Rapmonster getting his ..." - "...once caught their leader, Rapmonster, getting his ..."
"Her date is..." - 'is' should be 'was' since the whole story is in past tense.
"...when any cute guy stopped anywhere near her Rose was always..." - There should be a comma in between 'her' and 'Rose'.
Other than that, your grammar is okay. (4/5)
Vocabulary: I notice that you repeat 'said' quite a number of times which you may want to refrain from doing so. Google helps a lot when you cannot think of any other synonyms to replace 'said'. Other than that, your vocabulary is okay. (4/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
Enjoyment: I won't say that I like a lot but I think this is fairly well-written! I like the characters' personalities and they are definitely suitable for this story. (8/10)

Total: 80/100 //B (+)
Additional comments: I know that I have mentioned this a lot of times but I love your ending! It certainly fits Rose because I cannot imagine her giving in to V so easily. This is my first time reviewing a fanfic with quite a number of scenes, so I hope this review does not disappoint. Thanks for requesting and do not forget to follow the rules!

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