trapped in a k-drama by blu3wind



Criticism Level: 9-10

Title: 5/5
Definitely a unique title. Although it is a rather long title, it catches the attention of the readers as they would wonder how it feels like to be trapped in a k-drama. The title is very straightforward and reveals the basic conept of the plot. Certainly relevant.

Description & Foreword: 9/10
As always, I do not find the character chart necessary since the readers can learn about the characters as they read the story. While the description isn't presented in the most interesting way ever, it summarizes the whole story and is indeed relevant. Personally, I think that you can add a foreword (maybe using the first half of chapter one) to interest the readers more.

Characters: 17/20
Starting off with Eunhee, I love her spunk. She is like me in some ways so I can relate to her easily sometimes. Most of her reactions are believable but occasionally, I feel that her urge to go back to her own world is not really strong. Even though she enjoys the company of the seven guys, it'd make sense if her desire to have her parents back is stronger. (and maybe Sooyeon, depending on whether she values their real friendship more than the hatred between her and in-drama Sooyeon). Maybe it is just me, but I feel that she is not one to forgive and forget easily. That being said, after what Hoya has done to her, I don't know if she can befriend him ultimately unless her views entirely change during her drama life (which will be odd, in my opinion). Honestly, I am quite surprised that she didn't stick with her plan of seduing Woohyun in the end. That's a bit un-Eunhee-like but I guess that that shows her growth during the drama, that she is willing to be more considerate to other people's feelings. All in all, she is a well developed character with a strong personality that sticks out to the readers and probably one of the few main female characters that I love.
Moving on to the male characters... I'll start off with the characters that appear more like the sides; Sungjong and Dongwoo. They are not as well developed as the others which is understandable (eight well developed characters in a story is a bit too much). Sungjong is like the typical best friend who serves as additional comedy relief. Dongwoo is pretty much just the nice sunbae being nice, sometimes serving as comedy relief as well.
I actually like Sungjong+Dongwoo more than Sungyeol+Hoya, although the latter has more significance in the story than the former. Not that I dislike Sungyeol, but he is even more like a nice guy than Dongwoo. He really doesn't seem like a loanshark (well, he shows his true yandere side once but that isn't enough) and practically doesn't have any flaws. If it isn't for him acting like Eunhee's knight in shining armor and participating in the love triangle (or is it square?), he will really fade into the background. So I do suggest giving him some flaws, or maybe he can show his insecurities about Eunhee. For Hoya, I just wonder why bad boy characters are loved and bad girl characters are hated on. Though he is more developed than Sooyeon, I don't think that what he did to Eunhee can be excused. It is also strange how he panics when Eunhee cries but doesn't blink an eye when he hurts her (verbally or physically). His relationship with Sooyeon is interesting; I wonder why Sooyeon has such control over him. They are certainly more than just friends.
Woohyun, Sunggyu and Myungsoo are the more developed mains. Myungsoo's 180 degree change in behavior (when he is sane and when he is drunk) is hilarious. Among the three, he has the deepest connection with Eunhee because they can both relate to each other's situation. He has this cold guy image but of course, nobody is 100% cold. He does have his ways of giving advice to the other characters in the story so in a way, he is like a mentor.
Woohyun is a bit too perfect for my liking. There's no flaws in his personality that are really evident, but nevertheless, he is a likable character as a main. I have this gut feeling that he is the one that will end up with Eunhee but it makes sense; their interactions carry the most romantic meaning(?) out of the characters. (I don't know how to describe it, but every character has his/her own unique way of interacting with Eunhee, but as a couple, I'll say Woohyun and Eunhee fit the most). It is amazing how he can read Eunhee's mind; is Eunhee being too obvious or is he just really smart? Hu.
Sunggyu is my most favorite character in the story. His and Eunhee's interactions are adorable; it'd be funny if they grow old together and still bicker childishly like kids hu. I ship GyuHee even more than WooHee (I know I said WooHee fits best but I like GyuHee more hu. Bickering couple for the win.) Putting aside all that, he, like Eunhee, is well developed. He may be arrogant and flawed in certain ways but he has a nice side to him. Beneath all the teasing, he does care for Eunhee; he just shows his concern in a more subtle manner.
Lastly, the other female characters... well, Ahri is a nice girl, but like Sungyeol she doesn't really stick out. I can see YeolRi happening more than YeolHee since they have similiar personalities. I hope that her friendship with Eunhee isn't affected just because of a guy. As someone who values friendship a lot, it is upsetting to see Sooyeon's change in the drama life. If a misunderstanding with Eunhee and Ahri has to happen, it'd be great if they can both learn from it and if their friendship will become even stronger through the experience. That'll develop their characters more. Moving on to Sooyeon, she is just the bad girl in the story. In some instances she seems redeemable, but because she is still in a drama, she immediately reverts back to her original 'bad girl' image. It is clever of you to transform her into the antagonist because it creates more impact to the readers. Hopefully she does realize her mistakes at some point and stop herself before she does something even worse. I won't elaborate too much on the mother characters but Sunggyu's mother is awesome (finally, a nice mother for once!). Woohyun's mother... well, the typical evil mother. Does she have any redeemable qualities at all?

Plot: 15/20
The plot provides a twist to a cliche Kpop drama. I have never read such a story before so it is definitely interesting to read. While I don't like Kpop dramas that much, this Kpop drama in Eunhee's POV is more fun with its characters being more developed. I wonder how Eunhee is teleported into this Kpop drama world though; is there an explanation to that in the end? I don't think anyone wants Eunhee to leave her drama life but personally, I think it would be unbelievable if she doesn't go back to her real life at some point unless there is a valid reason. On an additional note, the scene with Sunggyu doing CPR on Eunhee is well... unrealistic. I know Kpop dramas show this scene sometimes but unless Sunggyu has learnt how to do CIP before, he cannot do it on people because he may end up killing them. The whole thing about him saving Eunhee in the last chapter is a bit odd since he doesn't know how to swim, but I guess the drama life works out different than real life.
At the end, what message would you like to convey to your readers through this story? What is the meaning of the story? There is lots of fluff and comedy here, but in my opinion, for a story to attain the 'exceptional' status, the readers should be able to cry and laugh with the characters in the story. I'm not sure how long your story will be, but it is already halfway there so do think about it. It can focus on friendship with Eunhee and the other characters (not only just with the guys, but also with the girls) and so on so forth. On an additional note, it'd be great if Eunhee ends up single (I imagine her that way at the first place hu).

Flow: 5/5
The relationships between the characters are not rushed; the story and characters are relatively consistent with a few exceptions. The events flow well and the story sticks with 1st POV-Eunhee.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/15
Your story is mostly free from grammatical errors. There are a few mistakes which can be easily fixed by reading through the story again. Some are barely noticable.
Foreword: "Eun Hee was, without surprise, still a university student..." - 'was' should be in present tense since the rest of the description is in that tense.
Chap 1: "Eun Hee scoffed hearing the deep meaningful quote..." - "Eun Hee scoffed after hearing the deep meaningful quote..." The sentence flows better like this.
Chap 1: "...she wanted to proof that..." - 'proof' is the noun form of 'prove'.
Chap 2: "Eun Hee gasped in shocked..." - 'shocked' is the verb form of 'shock'.
Chap 2: "...meaning none of them were allowed to leave..." - 'were' should be singular since 'none' is considered singular.
There are some inconsistencies with the tense. I wonder why the foreword is in present tense while the story is in past tense.
You have a wide range of vocabulary. There are instances when you would repeat certain words, but that only happens occasionally. Do try and vary your sentence structure; most of your sentences start with a character's name or pronoun. 

Description & Emotions: 8/10
There are attempts to describe the actions and facial expressions of the characters with most of them being successful. At times, the words you select are not specific enough, but the emotion is properly conveyed. You can use more figurative language to help you form imagery in the readers' minds, and also the five senses. 

Format (Graphics & Layout): 10/10
The format is neat and the words are readable. The graphics are pleasing to the eye and also relevant to the story.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
It has been ages since I have read a chaptered story that I have really enjoyed, and thanks to this story, I am liking INFINITE even more. 

Total: 87/100 //B (+)
A near 90! Do keep it up :) Thank you for requesting, and please remember to follow all the rules!

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