scars of love by queensabelle



Criticism Level: 9
romance, family, s-o-l, sad, light comedy, drama ; everything 

Title: 4/5
I can see how it is relevant to the story based on the quote and the story itself. It is a bit vague but readers can still get a rough idea of the story. I haven't really seen a title like this but honestly, it seemed like a somewhat cliche story title to me when I first saw it. It really gave me an angst vibe.

Description & Foreword: 7/10
The description is a bit too long for my liking. Here is a shortened version:
"Have you ever had questions that you couldn't answer?
Have you ever loved the wrong person?

Cho Jin Ae had a complex family situation.
Her mother, a beautiful woman who did not look like her age, dated tons of young and good-looking guys.
A few months after she dumped her most recent boyfriend,
she brought home a charming guy who was none other than Nam Woo Hyun.
Could Jin Ae's already complicated life get any worse than that?"

While the description is relevant, it isn't really intriguing maybe because the last question is too vague. What is so special about Nam Woohyun? After all, Jinae's mother had dated lots of other guys before. However, be careful not to be too explicit; just try and give a slight hint of what happens next. (I cannot give an example, sadly, since I do not know the whole story. For me, I think that the story is quite predictable so you can give clues that the story may not head in the same direction as what your readers may be thinking) Lastly, I feel that the character charts are unnecessary since your readers can learn about the characters as the story progresses on.

Characters: 16/20
Jinae is a rather likable character considering that most of the time, female characters who have tragic family backgrounds are often portrayed as weak and helpless. I feel that Jinae can definitely stand on her own seeing how she is already thinking about her future by studying hard so that she can achieve great results. Not only that, she has guts to stand up for herself and is a refreshing change for the female main character. Sure, Jinae may be rude to some people and to her mother, but that adds to the realism of her character. Throughout the story, while she grows as a person, I hope that her confident personality will not change either.
My favorite character is actually Yunhee. I like how she isn't just the evil and cruel mother; she does crave for her daughter's love and through small actions, she also expresses her care and concern to her daughter. I do think that both Jinae and Yunhee can get along if Jinae's father didn't die, and if they actually communiciate with each other.
Although I really like the female characters, I don't exactly like the male characters that much. Though, your story is still at its early stages so there are lots of time for you to develop them better. I feel that Myungsoo is a lot like the "good guy" in the story while Woohyun is the "bad guy", and so far, I haven't noticed any flaws in Myungsoo's personality or any redeeming qualities in Woohyun's personality. Hopefully they will be fleshed out further and break out from the stereotypes that they are given.
On a side note, I can see Woohyun and Jinae getting along (maybe, since they're both rather stubborn) and become great friends.

Plot: 14/20
The plot is quite overused and somewhat predictable, but there is plenty of time for you to add twists to make your story even more interesting. In terms of realism, the story is quite believable (I find it odd for Woohyun and Jinae to be a couple though since he is her mother's boyfriend, but we'll see how it goes).
As mentioned, your story is still in its early stages so I am not really sure what the themes of your story are. I have identified some themes regarding parent-child relationship and probably some regarding romance too (since the story is romance after all). Take note that when it comes to romance, never rush the relationship. The beauty of a relationship is shown through the process, not the result. 

Flow: 5/5
I haven't noticed any inconsistencies yet. The story flows well and smoothly. The POV stays consistent as 3rd POV-Jinae.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 11/15
"Myung Soo sent a cheeky smirked..." - 'smirked' is in the wrong word form. Personally, I feel that 'smirked cheekily' will sound better.
Take note that if the word before 'always' is singular, the verb after 'always' should be singular as well. Here is an example:
"This girl always add..." - Since 'This girl' is singular, 'add' should also be singular.
"Yun Hee spoke comfortably at Mr. Lee..." - A preposition error here. 'to' would be more appropriate than 'at'.
"they were like an unbreakable friends"
You have a slight tendency to change tenses which you must be careful of as it can be quite distracting for your readers. If your story is in past tense, do stick with it all the time and refrain from switching tenses.
Take note that after the infinitive 'to', the verb should be in its original form.
The words you use are relatively simple but they can still convey meaning effectively. Repetition of words occur sometimes. You can try to vary sentence structure a little to make your writing more interesting.

Description & Emotions: 7/10
You do attempt to describe the actions of the characters but the level of detail is still not enough. How beautiful is Yunhee? Do try to describe the appearance of Yunhee so that your readers can imagine how she looks like. Figurative language is a great tool to use if you want to be more descriptive. The emotions of the characters can be felt by the readers. 

Format (Graphics & Layout): 10/10
Your format is neat and words are readable. I love your poster; not only is it beautiful, it is also relevant to the story. All in all, this aspect is a job well done.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
The female characters have allowed me to enjoy the story more but the male characters... not so much. I do like reading the story though and I'll anticipate for updates.

Total: 77/100 //B (+)
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