thrown aside by liltibbers



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 10/10
Originality: I have never seen such a title before, so it is definitely unique. (2/2)
Relevance: Youngjae had been thrown aside, so it is relevant to the story. It gives off the angst and tragic vibe too. (4/4)
Attractiveness: The title is really eye-catching, and it will definitely attract angst fans. Besides that, it is also original and short. I have nothing much to say; your story has a great title! (4/4)

Description & Foreword: 9/10
Relevance: I think the sentence "The boy and the puppy soon developed an unbreakable relationship." contradicts with the sentence "Soon, years of bonding will shatter to pieces like delicate glass and it takes someone along with it." You may want to remove the word 'unbreakable', or add that their relationship is not as strong as people think it is. I am also rather skeptical at the part 'no matter how far they try to save it' because it seems to me that Daehyun isn't doing anything to save the relationship. Other than that, the description is well-written and also very relevant to the story. The foreword seems to be in Daehyun's point-of-view after he gave his puppy away, and people may not understand when they first read the story, but I am glad that you give us an idea of what he feels after giving his puppy away. (4/5)
Attractiveness: I have nothing to say because the description and foreword are really well-written. (5/5)

Setting: 5/5
Relevance: I guess the setting is relevant because the reason why Youngjae is thrown aside is due to Daehyun's career and love life. (5/5)

Characters: 18/20
Originality: I wouldn't say that they are very original because Youngjae is portrayed as the 'nice one' while Daehyun is portrayed as the 'bad one'. While the foreword is nice, I would love it if you can write the story in Daehyun's point-of-view too, or maybe I just like to read different people's perspectives that much. (3/5)
Believability: Your characters are really realistic because there are people like Daehyun in real life, and also, dogs are very loyal like Youngjae. Anyway, the characters are believable, so full marks for this. (15/15)
Opinion: You didn't ask me to focus on characterization but I just want to add some comments here after reading some of the comments for the story. Sometimes, due to issues in real life, pet owners like Daehyun can no longer take care of Youngjae, and thus, he has to give him away. Technically, he is abandoning their relationship and the times they have spent together, but he has to make a decision between his career (including family as well) and his dog. He is in a dilemma, but he thinks that giving up his dog will be a better choice because really, it does seem like the more rational decision doesn't it? So he does it, but he feels like his life is lacking in something (according to the foreword) and he feels guilty for his actions. Did his love really stop? That's my question after reading the story. Anyway, just some food for thought. Sorry for babbling so much!

Plot: 20/25
Originality: I've read stories like this before, but this is the first time I've read a fanfiction about a puppy and an owner. If I have to be honest, it doesn't give me new things to think about (refer to Characters: Opinion.) (3/5)
Believability: I actually mentioned most things in Characters: Believability so I have nothing much to say here. (10/10)
Theme: I like the concept a lot, and it did give me things to think about, but I felt like something more could be done, you know? (7/10)

Flow: 10/10
Consistency: ...I actually have nothing much to say. Your flow is really smooth and it is just right.That's all I can really say. (10/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 9/10
Grammar: '...no matter how far they...' - I think that 'hard' is a better word than 'far'. It just doesn't sound right with 'far'. 'What if only one stops...' - 'only' is a bit redundant. 'What if one stops...' should be fine enough. Those are just some minor mistakes I spot which can be fixed pretty easily. Other than that, your grammar is fine. (4/5)
Vocabulary: I have nothing to say. (5/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
Enjoyment: I really love the concept, but it didn't give me something new to think about so I am a bit disappointed. Nevertheless, you have portrayed the characters realistically which is wonderful. (8/10)

Total: 89/100 //A (*)
Additional comments: So I end up focusing on the characterization instead... I apologize for that. Anyway, I enjoyed your story a lot, and since you have gotten a score that is above 85, you will be featured! Thanks for requesting, and do not forget to follow the rules.

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