let her go by clasicoustic-



Criticism Level: 9

Title: 3/5
I will say that while the title is short and sweet, it is not exactly an original title. Nevertheless, it does give off an angst vibe and (supposingly) does not reveal much. From what I have seen in your description and foreword, I suppose that the title will be relevant. Angst fans would love to check out this story.

Description & Foreword: 9/10
I cannot judge the relevancy but I am slightly iffy about the description. Well, mainly because the story is somewhat predictable (Lu Han broke up with Yoona maybe because he thought he did not love her, but then he realizes that he does and the ending is probably them together again). I think it reveals a bit too much, but I have to say that I like how you reveal the information. You use details to hint at the readers that something had happened beforehand. This is why it is interesting to read and readers will look forward to the story. In conclusion, I think that your description is well-written, but it reveals a bit too much in my opinion.

Characters: 0/20

Plot: 0/20

Flow: 0/5

Grammar & Vocabulary: 11/15
There are some errors that are pretty glaring. I will correct all the errors I spot since there is only the description (but I will say that your English is pretty great considering that it is your second language).
When he stares at the Polaroid picture of the two of them, he just can't feel the same thing (do you mean 'way'?)  anymore. He stares at the empty glass on the table, regretting what he has (it would make more sense that he regretted something he had done at the past) done. Pouring that thing (this is rather vague; what thing?) into his empty glass has been (I think 'become' would be a better word') his routine, somehow. He can't feel the same warmth as it's starting to get colder. Snow is falling hard, and the emptiness in his heart still makes him hurts ('hurts him' should be fine enough). He can't find the same sunshine anymore, or the same beautiful butterflies that flew around his old garden. The coldness starting (tense error) to get in him more and more; (punctuation error) even putting on a thick jacket didn't really help. Now that he finally realized his feelings. (I just find this whole sentence out of place and it seems like a run-on sentence)
Also, I think that 'loved' should be in present tense... I mean, the rest of the description is in present tense and if I am not wrong, he still loves her (just that he realizes it late).
I cannot really judge the vocabulary but I guess it is all right so far.

Description & Emotions: 0/10

Format (Graphics & Layout): 9/10
You have a beautiful poster and a background that accompanies with the poster. There is no layout but your format is neat and readable.

Overall Enjoyment: 0/5

Total: 32/40 (80%)
I do not know if the storyline I am thinking of is the same as your story but do remember to add some twists to your story so that it will be less predictable. It is also important to develop the characters and their relationship well (how did Lu Han and Yoona's relationship started? why did they start the relationship? what happened and led to their break up?). Thank you for requesting and do remember to follow all the rules!

» layout credit