mirror image by honeylove



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 3/5
It is short and sweet, however, I would not say that it is a very original title (though it's not one of the extremely common titles either). The title can be interpreted in many ways so it doesn't exactly give off a horror vibe. I don't know why, but I don't feel like the title is very relevant to the story. It does intrigue me in a way, and if I do encounter this story while I am scrolling, there is a possibility that I will want to check the story out.

Description & Foreword: 8/10
The description is very relevant, and it doesn't reveal too much details. However, 'many weird occurences' is quite vague. There can be many definitions of the word 'weird', so what exactly do you mean by the word 'weird'? It doesn't intrigue the readers much. I suggest you to end off with a question instead. You do not have a foreword but I do advise you to write one that catches your readers' attention instantly. A paragraph or two should be okay for a one-shot.

Characters: 19/20
Sungyeol is pretty realistic; I mean, it is obvious that he is terrified at first, but he tries hard to reassure himself that those dreams cannot do anything to him. As time passes by, he is starting to fear and panic to the point that he is willing to let a shaman (that he dislikes) help him. It's understandable for any normal human being to react like this. However, there's this one issue which I'm not sure if it's a plot issue or a characterization issue, but I'll just list it here. Why does Myungsoo keep saving him?
The spirit and the shaman are some interesting characters, and I'll discuss more about them in Plot (because I feel that the story is plot-driven rather than character-drive). All in all, I like Sungyeol as a main character and it is touching how he is willing to sacrifice his life for his friend.

Plot: 17/20
Your plot keeps me hooked, though I can't say if it's original since I rarely read horror stories, (but I still enjoy them anyway). In my opinion, it probably isn't one of those horror plots which will make readers go wow, but nevertheless, your story can still be enticing if it's written well. Your plot is rather interesting, I have to say, and I appreciate the presence of the spirit and shaman. Seeing how things are going, I was expecting the spirit to be the antagonist (and in all honesty, I didn't exactly care about the shaman) but the chapter at the end serves as a surprising twist. I suppose that the unknown woman is the shaman (considering that she mentioned 'guests) and that 'it' is the spirit. It may be better if you provide some more hints but I actually think that the ending is okay. It's not one of the most confusing endings I've seen and the slight confusion may encourage the reader to go back to the previous chapters again (which is what I did).
Even after the story has ended, I do have some questions left unanswered. What does the shaman mean when she says that she is going to change humans' fates? Does she mean that she will ruin them? In the end, what happened to Sungyeol and Myungsoo? Nevertheless, I don't find the ending unsatisfying and it somehow makes sense. I have mixed feelings about the theme/s because the story is like a puzzle, yet I wouldn't exactly categorize it as mystery. I do think that the horror works even though I didn't find it exactly scary. Then again, horror story doesn't have to be scary to be classified as good. You've written the story well enough and that's all that really matters.

Flow: 5/5
The flow is okay. Truthfully, I thought that the ending is abrupt but now that I think about it, it isn't exactly sudden. The point-of-views stay consistent which is wonderful.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 14/15
Your grammar is relatively fine, though there are a few minor mistakes:
'...the sky suddenly turned dark- literally, as if in a flash.' - It sounds weird if you say 'as if in a flash' because it's either immediately a flash, or it isn't. Also, 'in a flash' means immediate and it has a close meaning with 'suddenly', so I don't think 'in a flash' is required.
"Not a moment later rain starts pouring down, getting heavier faster than ever." - "Not a moment later, rain starts pouring down; getting heavier and faster than ever."
The mistakes are not too distracting though and can be fixed rather easily.grammar, sentence structure, spelling all comes under here.
Your vocabulary isn't fantastic, but it still suits the story and I do not notice repetitive words. One advantage of simple word choices is that people are able to understand what your story wants to convey easily, but this can create a boring effect on your story. Still, I don't think that your story is mundane or dull so do keep your stories that way!

Description & Emotions: 8/10
You've created imagery and due to that, the story feels alive. Sungyeol is a relatable character and you describe his emotions well enough. I find the new writing style pretty creative, but I can't say that it is really effective. If you just narrate the story using first POV (and in present tense), chapter one can start off with Sungyeol really in his dream. Instead of letting him recount about what had happened, I think that that may better bring out his feelings.

Format (Graphics & Layout): 6/10
Your format is pretty neat, but the font change between the font used for Sungyeol's journal entries and the font used for the narration is kinda distracting. I'd prefer it if the font stays consistent, and to differentiate from the journal entries and the narration, you can differ the font sizes instead. Your words are readable, but I think you can increase the font size used for the journal entries a little bit more. Maybe since there isn't a layout, the way the story is presented isn't exactly eye-catching. You may want to consider finding a dark-themed layout that will suit your story!
I will not be grading your graphics but I do advise you to get a poster, and maybe a background as well. These two will enhance the presentation of the story, just like book covers. 

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I find myself enjoying this story tremendously partly due to the fact that I like horror, but also because the story is relatively well written. 

Total: 85/100 //B (+) 
I apologize for the late review; I've been really busy lately. Nevertheless, thank you for requesting and do not forget to follow all the rules. :)

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