pull me under by colorfulsky



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 9/10
Originality: It is not the most original title, but the title has a really unique meaning behind it. (2/2)
Relevance: The whole story mainly revolves around the pool, and I can see how the title is relevant to the story and especially the ending. (4/4) Attractiveness: At first glance, it may not seem attractive. However, people who analyse the title will find it intriguing and feel interested to read the story. The title may not attract everyone as a result, but it can definitely capture the attention of many. (3/4)

Description & Foreword: 10/10
Relevance: The description is very relevant to the story, so I have nothing to say. The different definitions of the word 'drowning' really makes it better. (5/5)
Attractiveness: I have the urge to read the story immediately after scanning through the description. Definitely full marks for attractiveness. (5/5)

Setting: 5/5
Relevance: The main setting is the pool, I suppose. The pool is the start of everything and the end of everything, so it is certainly relevant to the story. (5/5)

Characters: 18/20
Originality: I love Nameless. Full stop. Nameless is both realistic and original; she is bold, loyal to her brother, strong yet weak at the same time. I would love to have such a main character in every story I read! Sehun is okay; he is somewhat protective, curious and slightly insecure. I still like Nameless more though. I can even see the importance of the side characters in this story; Jongup, Nameless's parents and Sora. (5/5) Believability: Nameless's reaction to the therapist is acceptable. Whether she is depressed or not, I doubt that anyone will be very happy seeing a therapist. I am slightly skeptical at the part when Sehun chooses to see what Nameless is up to, but I figured that he is just being curious (besides, they also seem to have a connection as well.) For the most part, I can definitely understand both Sehun and Nameless's reactions, although I find it slightly unbelievable that Sehun seems to know that Nameless is drowning herself and that he arrives in the nick of time. I also wonder why Sora told him about her seeing his father all of a sudden. (13/15)

Plot: 17/25
Originality: The high school part is really cliche. The drowning part is more original even though I have seen similar plots before as well. (2/5) Believability: The students forcing Jongup to jump is well... unrealistic. First of all, that is practically murder, and the fact that nobody cares (even the teachers as well?) makes it worse. I have no idea whether the Royals are all rich people or not, but either way, I doubt that this incident can be covered up so easily. Jongup waking up all of a sudden is also quite a surprise... he has been in a coma after all. These are the two main parts which I find unbelievable and cliche, but I am okay for most of the other part. (6/10)
Theme: There are many themes that I have learnt from this story. I can understand that Nameless really loves her brother, but there are times to let go and move on with life instead of letting the past take over the present and the future. At times, life is hard, but it is really up to us whether we will work hard to overcome the difficulties or just give up and fail. (9/10)

Flow: 9/10
Consistency: The flow is rather smooth, but I find the ending rather rushed. I cannot imagine it in any other way, though... so maybe it is just me and my preferences. (9/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/10
Grammar: I do not notice any major mistakes. (5/5)
Vocabulary: I have nothing to say. (5/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
Enjoyment: I feel slightly unsatisfied that the story has ended in such a way - like you have mentioned - but nevertheless, I really enjoyed this story and I am likely to read it again. (8/10)

Total: 86/100 //A (*)
Additional comments: Congratulations on getting an A! I personally think that getting an A is a lot coming out from me, so that means that your story is just splendid. I also love how you ended off with Sehun and Nameless going seperate ways. I cannot imagine this story ending off happily, and if it did, the impact will probably be less stronger. (Besides, I love bittersweet endings.) I am certainly looking forward to your future works.

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