I woke up from the morning nap.

I realized something unusual. My cycle hasn't come in over a month.

"Niichan, let's go home." I reached out for his hand.

He gently held my hands and picked me up. I stood like a newborn deer except with him holding both my forearms. I put my back straight and loosened my strength in my hands.

"You okay now?" He peeked in.

"Yes I am." I lips stretched from side to side. "Let's go."

"Senpai, thank you for the invitation. I was able to have a nice talk with the other leaders of the Johnny's Entertainment. I'm relieved to know that I wasn't the only one with troubles."

"Thank you Sakamoto-san. See you next year."

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I struggled to reach Ohno-san's house. I got caught in a wave of people, making it difficult to escape. I tried to resist. I tripped over a foot and fell forward. I closed my eyes tightly but I didn't feel hurt in anywhere. I opened my eyes and looked up.

Looking at the face, my mind became overfilled with thoughts. It was the first time I made eye contact with Ohno-san in two weeks. I couldn't think properly. My brain was malfunctioning. I started feeling dizzy and I wasn't sure if I was answering his questions correctly.

I ran from reality. I ran from Ohno-san. I wanted some distance. I didn't know how I should tell him about this. I ran and thought.

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I panted. Sweat was running down my face.

"What did you want to tell me?" He asked.

I took a deep breath in and told him as simply as possible. "I'm pregnant."

He looked at me surprised, eyes wide open. He ran his fingers through his hair and averted his eyes. In case he heard incorrectly, he asked me to repeat.

"Ohno-san, I'm pregnant." The words that could ruin our strong relationship has been said once again, more loudly and clearly, as I looked down at my stomach. "There's life inside me, that's not my own. I found out just this morning. I thought I'd tell you about this. I know this is a sudden, but I want to give birth to this child later next year."

Silence fell.

"Um... Are you going to be on Kouhaku on New Year's Eve?"

He tried to run away but I answered honestly. "I will be as a samurai. It is nothing but honor, though we will be going against each other. I will not go easy."

"Same goes for you. Don't think you'll get your victory so easily." He paused to organize his thoughts. "Am I going to be a father? I've never even gave a thought about it."

"I've never thought the time would come this quickly either. But I'm glad to know that we have united. It was something I always wanted. I wanted a child of my own, of our own. I wanted to create a family. I don't know how large or how small, but... That's what I always wanted all these years we couldn't meet. The years we were separated."

"Can... I... I think I want some time alone. Please understand."

"Of course. I couldn't believe my eyes at first either. See you next time at Kouhaku." I smiled and waved as I exited out the door. "I'll always be waiting."

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I was warming up my throat to sing. It's been over an year since I sang in front of hundreds people. I could feel my heart beating against my chest. Inohara-san was at the front introducing the groups and songs for the white team for the 66th Kouhaku, which increased the chance of meeting with Arashi. I looked around so I wouldn't bump into them.

My hand got caught by someone from behind. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that it could be Ohno-san. I looked around and saw that it was only Kei-niichan.

"You don't have to sweat it so much. I don't think Arashi will be around any time soon. I'm pretty sure that they're still in the changing room or having their makeup done. Just take a breath in and breathe out, slowly and deeply. You'll be fine. I believe in you. I know you're worried about the life you're carrying with you, but it's still unnoticeable and you're both strong. If something happens, just call me. You have your phone with you right?" He put a hand on my shoulder and went elsewhere, possibly where the other NEWS members were.

That's right. I still have time until I'm up there. And besides, they won't notice me... I'm in a samurai kimono... I think... I hope... Everything will go just fine. Yes, it's been over an year since my first live, but everyone else is feeling the same way. It's not like we do lives every single day. They're all nervous, they're just good at hiding it.

I held my hands over my heart with the key from Ohno-san in my hand.

"Oh, Reena-chan! You look so cool in that!" A sudden voice belonging to Aiba-san called from behind. "Is your theme 'samurai'?"

I looked around in surprise.

"Kya?" Ninomiya-san chuckled. "What are you doing here? Nice outfit you're wearing. What are you? A samurai or a maiko-san? You feeling nervous? It's okay, you'll be just fine. I get nervous all the time, but everything ends well every year."

"Stop making fun of me just because I let a voice out... I'm in a samurai outfit but I really don't know if I can do this." I held onto the key tighter.

"Come on, have more confidence in yourself. You're a samurai. Have more pride." Sakurai-san gave me strong and encouraging words.

"If I can remember..." I looked at my hand.

"Reena-chan, write '人' on your hand and swallow it." Matsumoto-san suggested.

I grinned. "Does that actually work?"

"I don't know... Try for yourself."

With the grin still on my face, I wrote on my hand with my finger. "Okay, so, where's the water? I can't swallow this without water."

They chuckled.

"We're the ones who became relaxed instead." Sakurai-san said with one hand behind his neck. "Well, unfortunately, we don't have water with us."

"I guess that's okay then."

"Oh yeah, did you check the chart? We're going against each other. You're before us." Ninomiya-san suddenly threw an unnecessary information at me.

I covered my ears so I couldn't hear any of the noises around me anymore and slowly walked away from the men in the samurai costume. I could feel my heart beating against my chest once again and my mouth was feeling dry.

I took a breath in for the oxygen to flow through my body. With my hands still covering my ears, I closed my eyes, facing up. I convinced myself that I'd be completely fine, I could make it until the very end. It was just a matter of time.

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I was called ten minutes before I had to sing in front of everyone in Japan. My makeup and outfit have been checked to look my best.

I have a strong heart of a samurai. Don't run away. You can do it.

I was told to be up, so I went.

"Next up for the red team, is Yoshimura Rina-san! This year is the first year that she's going to sing at kouhaku here on the stage. You are dressed up as a samurai but how do you feel right now?" Ayase Haruka-san looked at me and questioned.

"It's been so long since I last sang in front of thousands of people so I'm extremely nervous, but I think that all I have to do and can do is to have fun."

"But who we have here on the white team is Arashi!" Inohara-san said as if they were their trump card. "How do you five feel about this tonight?"

"We don't feel negative in any way." Sakurai-san stated.

"See!?" Inohara-san pointed.

"But everything's going to be alright. There's nothing to worry about." I answered with a fist. "I'll earn even a single point from you for the red team!"

"Well, I guess it's time for you to go on stage to sing Acceptance and Samurai!"

"Thank you." I bowed and walked to the stage.