I took a step out of Ohno-san's house and turned to take another good look at his face. He looked so satisfied and yet, he was looking down, tired.

"Ohno-san?" I called his name.

He looked at me surprised. "Oh, what's wrong? Did you forget something?"

"No, it's not that. You seem a bit down." I gave a smile. "You want to talk about it? You usually don't talk about your troubles so I don't really know what's going on."

"I'm worried about myself. I'm worried about you. Who knows what's going to happen? The reason to your headaches is me. What if I do something wrong?"

"Ohno-san, please stop. I know. I understand why you would think that, but please, don't lose your calm. If you lose your calm, what are the members going to do? What are they going to do without you? Stay strong." I held his face to keep eye contact. "Ohno-san, trust me. But more importantly, trust yourself who trusts me. I know I can be stupid and all, but what am I supposed to do without you? Even I, like your members, need you."

"I'm afraid I'll lose you again. I need you."

I lightly gave a slap on his cheek.

"You know I've lost more than you have. Don't think you're the only one with troubles. You're so good at camouflaging in your private time. But me? I stand out because of my height. Yes, I can be hidden, but I'm so short compared to other adults. But I still keep moving on or I at least try to. And how about you? What are you doing?"

"I'm looking at you. I'm thinking about you. I'm wanting you. I'm needing you. Without you, I'm not me." He put his arms around my shoulders and brought me close. "I don't want to be hated by you. I don't want you to leave. I want you by my side with Nino, Sho-chan, Aiba-chan, and Matsujun. We're a family right? Then why keep distance? Yes, we may fight and argue, but we're still a family. Even if our blood doesn't tie us together to prove it, that doesn't mean we're not a family."

Oh, right... I remember hearing something similar to this... Where have I heard it? It sounds so familiar. But when? From whom? When? Why? Have I forgotten?

I pushed Ohno-san away and put one hand by my ear. I struggled to keep myself together with what circled within my mind.

When I snapped back to reality, I ran. I ran home to where Kei-niichan was. I ran and ran in this dark night. There were so many things I had to tell people. There were so many things I still had to find out. There were so many things...

--------------------

When I noticed, I was at Kei-niichan's front door, panting.

I ran away again. Why do I always do this? You know your chest hurts every time. Why don't you face your problems? Why don't you go head in? Ugh! Just thinking won't do anything.

The same area of the ground was becoming wet with water droplets and it wasn't from my sweat. It was my eyes. My eyes were sweating. I wondered why but I never came to an answer.

The front door opened.

"Reena-chan! I've worried about you! I just got a call few minutes ago that you went running away from Ohno. Did you come running here? You're crazy! What's wrong? Why are you crying? What happened? Answer me!"

His voice was bothering my chain of thoughts. "Kei-niichan! Calm yourself!"

Says the one who needs to think thoroughly... I am crazy after all... How did I even know the way back here? That's weird...

I felt my phone vibrating in my small backpack. I looked to see who it was and sighed at the name, Ninomiya-san.

I'm in the middle of falling... And yet he's trying to drag me back up to where I belong.

The vibrate stopped. Then after a short moment, I received a text from two people.

Of course it's Ninomiya-san and Aiba-san. I've always wondered why they know when to text me and all. Not only them, but the other members. I've never told them about what they have done to me all these years, but they always know what to do. Matsumoto-san always reminded me to relax and Aiba-sam would push me on and encourage me. When I'm about to fall, Ninomiya-san would support me but when I do fall, Sakurai-san would help me back up. But Ohno-san would always keep me motivated. Then why am I running away? Why am I crying? I don't understand.

I heard dogs barking. The barkings were Maki and John from the yard.

"Maki!? John!? What's wrong? I'll go now."

As I headed for the dogs, a scene crossed my eyes. It was me as a little kid, around three years of age. I had my tiger doll in my arms and was looking around for where I was. Then a woman took my arm and brought me in. I didn't remember who that was.

I stopped in my path and saw that it wasn't my imagination creating this. It was my memory. It was what I've been keeping in the back pocket.

I was in the middle of nowhere. I looked around and it was all white and empty. I thought about who she was.

I heard a familiar voice calling me and looked around.

"Who is it!?" I called but there was no answer.

I continued to search through my memories.

--------------------

Not knowing how much time has passed, I gave up.

"I'm getting nowhere." I whispered to myself as I looked up. "Where is this place anyways? Why is it so blank and empty?"

Rina. Long time no see.

I turned around to the source of the voice.

"Okaa... San?" I doubted my eyes. "She was the woman in that scene, but older."

"Correct. How have you been?"

"You're lying to me. You can't possibly be! She passed away long ago. This must be a dream. Wake up. Wake up!" I slapped myself.

"Look at how much you've grown. You've matured and now you're engaged with the one you loved your whole life. I'm happy for you."

"Go away! Don't touch me!"

She touched my cheeks. "Then why are you crying? Are these tears of joy or of fear? You're short. Just like your mother. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for you. You tried so hard to come this far."

I couldn't do anything but to believe that she was my mother.

"Kaasan? I was so lonely. I wanted your love this whole time knowing that I couldn't."

"I've always been watching over you, loving you, worrying, wondering, scared. You learned to control this weird vision of yours."

"This must be part of a vision. You must be fake. You're part of my creation. You didn't have gray hair when you passed away."

"I must've aged while I was wandering here in between the world you live in and the afterlife. But I can go now. I can rest peacefully. All thanks to your ability to control your visions. I'm happy I was able to meet you once again."

"Where's appa* and niichan?"

"Appa didn't come here for the fact that he wouldn't want to leave if he saw you. About your oniichan, we couldn't find him. He's been long gone. But I'm sure, I'm sure he's happy. I'm sure we will too, so live your life as you want. I have to get going now."

I held her wrist for wanting to talk with her but she was gone before I knew it.

I don't understand. What will happen has to do with Ohno-san. Why is it that my dead kaasan came in front of me? Why is this even happening? Why don't I know where this voice is coming from? Why do I feel a hand on my shoulder? Snap out of it!

--------------------

Where is this?

I looked around but it was too dark to see with the eye. Someone suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled on it. I followed.

I hesitated. "Excuse me? Who are you? Where am I? Where are we headed?"

"I am your light. I will lead you to your happiness. Just follow me and do as I say."

"Yes ma'am."

"There's no need to be so polite. I see you are troubled with a loved one. What is that trouble of yours? Feel free to tell me."

"I saw a vision of being with him and there was a woman at the door of his house."

"Just keep a little distance in between for a bit and give more time for yourself. You shall do what you would like to do. You will end up becoming deeply hurt if you stay too close to him. But in the end, it is your choice. Do what you feel is correct. Therefore, you don't have to listen to my advice. Goodbye for now dear."

--------------------

I opened my eyes from the beaming sun and soon heard Maki and John's barking from the other side. I moaned and checked the time. I yawned and prepared for work.

"Maki, John, here's your breakfast. Eat well. Let's go out for a short walk after that." I petted Maki.

*Appa means dad in Korean