Lies

I Missed You

Days and weeks have passed trying to avoid Suzuki-san. I've kept my distance from everyone. I thought about quitting being on television and concentrate on writing my songs and singing. I've been a guest in dramas here and there. Enough with the protagonist and the supporter. I wanted to concentrate on my own career. The reason why I joined this world.

Sitting in front of my desk, I wrote and wrote ideas for my songs but I couldn't quite grasp an image of my new song. I talked to John and Maki. I looked after the cats.

This new song should be about family...

Everyone always said different things about my song. Songwriters' songs usually concentrated on one topic and it was obvious to everyone. For the songs I wrote, if one person saw it as a love song, the other saw it as a song of friendship.

If words can hurt people, then they can be healed by words. For those who lost a parent or both, for those who lost a sibling or two, for those who lost everything they treasured, I had to show them the hope to continue to live. I was their hope. I couldn't help but to continue to type.

"I finished the song! Ugh, I can have a few days off."

I stretched as I checked the time. It was getting late so I slept for the night.

 

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"I can't wait any longer." "You're going to die." "Take this hatred of mine."

 

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I walked John and Maki as I thought about the dream I had the night before. It was still a bit early in the morning and yet they were filled with energy.

The dream brought a new idea to mind. Rejection

As soon as I came back, I went into my room and sat in front of my computer and started typing before I forgot my train of thought. As I neared the end of the song, I remembered about the time I came back to Japan and another song came to mind: Acceptance.

 

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As long as I could remember, I was rejected, but as far as I can see, I am accepted.

 

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One idea came after another. There was only a little more than a month until my one year anniversary though. Of the five songs I wrote, I chose to release Rejection and Acceptance. I sent it to my sponsors and soon got a reply back saying that the shoot will start soon.

And by soon, it was the next day. I already had the image of the music videos for both songs. I prepared everything I needed for work.

As soon as I was prepared, I brought John and Maki out for another walk. They were both excited and energetic about it, for we hadn't walked twice a day in a while because of work. It was also a good refresher for me. I could forget about work for a little while.

When I arrived home, I had a phone call on my work phone. I checked who it was from and it was a number I didn't recognize. There was no such number in my book either.

The phone continued to ring so I eventually had to pick it up.

"Hey mom, it's me. I got into some trouble so can you give me some money? I'm sorry I called you a bunch of times. It's really important."

"People like you should all die." I told him in a grandma voice without thinking.

"How can you say that to your son?"

"I have no son. I have no kids. I'm single, unmarried. Never had a relationship with anyone. Are you still going to say that you're my son? I'll call the police on you without hesitation. I don't know what kind of situation you are in and I don't care. If you have trouble, get the police."

I heard the man on the other side click his tongue and whisper to himself, "I messed up. Did I call the wrong number instead?"

He hung up on the phone without saying another word. I checked the number and wrote it down on a piece of paper. I walked up to the police station and gave him the number and explained what happened. I had the conversation recorded on my private phone and had him listen to it. He thanked me for going through the trouble of coming up to them and dismissed me.

I wondered how someone could've gotten my work number. I didn't recognize the man's voice either. I wrote this feeling down on paper and hoped to make use of it.

I heard the door open and saw that Kei-niichan came back.

"How was your day home all day today?"

"It was fine I guess. I was able to write a few songs and sent two of them. Everything starts tomorrow. I got a call from a stranger on my work phone saying that he was my son though."

"Did you tell anyone about it?"

"I went and talked about it to the police but that's about it."

"Did they say anything?"

"They said they'll look into it and dismissed me."

"It's pretty creepy and weird though huh? How did this person even get your work number? Kei-niichan asked as he was going through his papers."

"That's what I asked myself earlier. I'm quite sure I haven't given away my number to anyone unrelated to work. I have no reason to give my work number to someone out of work."

"Well, we can't really do anything about it but wait for now."

"That is true but it's making me anxious."

"The police are going to investigate on it right? Then there's nothing to worry about. You sometimes worry too much about the small things and not about the big things."

"I used my brain too much today. I'll go to my room and get some rest then."

"Yeah, I recommend doing that."

 

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I woke up the next morning feeling drowsier than I usually felt. I thought it was just that I used my brain too much the day before and went off to work after walking John and Maki.

I hummed one of the two songs on my way.

I entered the building and walked to the room I was assigned to. I received a text from Ohno-san asking when the wedding should be and how big it should be. He also added when we'd start living together. I replied that I was thinking about April that we have the wedding but I wasn't sure when we'd be together.

I was called to be down for the shoot. I walked in the halls, looking down, careful not to drop or forget anything. I didn't care to look up so I bumped into someone. I dropped some of my materials in the process. I felt the person's hands under my elbows. But without thinking, I apologized and started picking up the materials I have dropped on the floor.

"Yoshimura-san, are you hurt anywhere? I'm sorry, I wasn't being careful."

I've heard this voice before and so I looked up.

No... This is really starting to creep me out now... Why is he even here at this time? What does he work as anyways? He shows up everywhere I go.

"Oh, Suzuki-san. No, I'm completely fine. Don't worry about me. I was too worried about my materials. I apologize." I didn't make eye contact.

"You're acting a bit unusual. Did something happen? Is this all because of my proposal? Did I interfere with your work?"

"No, that's not it. It's just that I thought way too much last night before I went to bed that I have a slight headache. Don't worry about it."

"Really? Don't force yourself. Tell me when your feelings has changed for me. I'll always be waiting for you. My feelings for you won't change."

Lies. I have no feelings for you. And I will never. I know it best. I know I do. I know can't tell him about Ohno-san though. I can't use Ohno-san as a reason to turn him down.

"I have to hurry to work. Bye."

I meant it when I said my last word. I wanted to end this. Erase everything. Erase the fact that we talked to each other. Erase the fact that we've met.

 

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I had my headphones on and listened to myself singing. I made some changes in mind to improve the songs. I stood in front of the mic. I took a breath in and sang. I finished recording within a few shots.

I stood in front of the camera and I expressed fear. I expressed need. I reached out. I spun. The feeling of being alone. The feeling of being unnoticed. I expressed it all.

I was almost finished with the shooting of the first song but it was getting late. All the clips were sent to me for me to work on.

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Comments

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ChanRM #1
Amazing story !! Can't wait till next chapter !!!
kaylila #2
Chapter 43: nice story :)
deerluluhanlu
#3
Chapter 42: nice chapter authornim :)))
wilddisneyprincess
#4
Chapter 1: Waw..nice first chapter :). so it's Arashi and OC fanfic? I am a er, hehe. You should write and tag "OC" , so it will be more interesting :)
wilddisneyprincess
#5
Oh hi there Riida! I have no idea you can write. I will read your story :) (Holy Riida! The pict you use in the description is the same in my wall). Riida, I hope you guys are doing well in Japonism Tour, wish you well with the rumour too :)