“Have a safe trip. I love you and I’ll see you in 10 hours time?” Jiyong oppa said from the other end of the phone call.

I am currently in the airport, holding on to a one-way homebound ticket. After much deliberation and persuasion coming from Seoul, I have made a decision to return home for good. With two time frames to choose from, I have decided to return after BIGBANG make their official comeback, afraid that if I were to make my return prior to their comeback and was spotted by the press, BIGBANG’s comeback would be affected.

One thing we were unsure of was the public’s response, and if my return was going to reflect negatively on Jiyong oppa and result to suspension of BIGBANG’s promotion, at least the boys has made their comeback. Everyone had faith in the public, and at the same time YG papa even came up with…well I wouldn’t say stories but stance that would not reflect us badly on us getting a baby out of wedlock and at such a young age while keeping it a secret from the fans.

BIGBANG has made an impressive comeback two weeks back. Originally YG papa has mentioned that he would like me to return latest one week after BIGBANG’s comeback but since things have been going so well and Jiyong oppa has been really busy with promotions, I decided to extend my stay in Hawaii for a week; taking this chance to meet up with everyone that I’ve met and help me greatly while I was struggling as a single mom for I am sure that once I leave, the next time I get to come back would be at least in a year’s time.

I am also thankful to omma Kim who is currently by my side and would be accompanying me on my trip back to Korea to ensure that nothing happens to me on the flight as well as to assist me in settling down and handling my case over to a local gynecologist who would be taking care of me while I’m in Korea. Omma Kim even promised me that she would try her best to travel to Korea near my due date to assist in my delivery but just in case she couldn’t make it, at least she knows that another doctor would be able to take care of me while she’s not around, especially with all the depression and past experience that I have shadowing me that could affect me and the delivery process.

Apart from omma Kim, Hyomin unnie was also on the flight with us to make sure that the trip would be a secretive one. In order to ensure privacy, Hyomin unnie blocked out the whole first class cabin of 12 seats exclusively to the five of us, including Hoon.

It was really nice to have omma Kim by my side during the flight as she looks into every little tiny details while taking care of me like I was her daughter and the babies in my belly are her grandchildren. Now that Hoon has grown up and the whole cabin was reserved for us, Hoon was spotted running around and enjoying himself, climbing up and down the seats and I was thankful that during the flight Yoon Shik oppa and Hyomin unnie was taking care of him for me so that I could rest well without have to run around with my huge belly.

While watching Hyomin unnie and Yoon Shik oppa interacting, I couldn’t hide my excitement in their marriage. Yes that’s right Yoon Shik oppa and Hyomin unnie has decided to get married. Although it has only been a few months since they have dated with less than a quarter of the time being together, the two of them have already recognize one another as their other half.

After deciding that we would be going back for good, YG papa immediately contacted Hyomin unnie to make the necessary arrangements and as soon as everything was settled, she immediately flew over to Hawaii to meet us and on behalf of YG papa and Jiyong oppa, made sure that we arrive safely back to Korea.

Taking this opportunity, I assisted Yoon Shik oppa in planning a simple yet romantic proposal at a private room in the restaurant they frequent whenever Hyomin unnie comes to Hawaii so that unnie wouldn’t suspect a thing. Getting permission from the restaurant, we decorated the private room next door with photos of the couple, Hyomin’s favorite flowers and floating balloons in the ceiling.

Once they settled down and they ordered their meals, the lights go off as planned and in comes a waiter who apologized for the lights out and assures that they would get the lights back up as soon as possible. During this time, the partition that was separating the normal private room and the decorated one open up and quietly Yoon Shik oppa made his way to the other side.  When oppa was ready, the lights came on and it was then when Hyomin unnie saw oppa standing in the middle of the room with one knee on the floor and a ring box in his hands popping the question “Will you marry me?”

While planning for Yoon Shik oppa’s proposal I can’t help but to think of myself. What is it like to be proposed to by someone you wish to spend your life with? Would I tear with joy? Would I be caught off guard? Thinking back, the past years have been so hectic ever since I found out that I was pregnant amidst YG Family Concert and then on I have been focused with not being caught, surviving pregnancy and then on taking care of Hoon and grieving over the lost child and it made me realize how I have not thought of myself. It seems that the moment I got pregnant, proposal, wedding and such was no longer for me. Besides, I didn’t see myself returning to Jiyong oppa in the past either.

Having prepared Yoon Shik oppa’s proposal, as well as meeting Hyomin unnie after the proposal who told me that I would get to experience it as well, it got me excited honestly but I wouldn’t dare to keep my expectations high. After all I am already a mother of one and soon three. What I feel about proposals and all these cliché events sounds feels so awkward like a 80 year old grandma who has been told by her husband that he still loves her and kisses her; it felt as if I’m no longer young to enjoy such events, even when in actual fact I’m only 23 years old (Korean age), 22 in fact since it’s not my birthday yet till another 8 more months.

Managing to catch a wink on the flight, it wasn’t long till we were hovering over Korea. Now that we are finally here, I am starting to feel nervous and at the same time excited. Would there be tons of press waiting for me outside the gates? How would the public react if they found out that I’m pregnant with Jiyong oppa’s child? It is also possible that there would be no one waiting for us and that we would be able to keep this a secret until YG papa thinks that it is the right time for us to conduct a press conference to reveal my pregnancy to the whole world?

While I was hyperventilating thinking of all the possible bad scenarios and scenarios that are in favor to me, I felt Kim omma holding on to my sweaty hands and when my attention is on her, she wrap me in her embrace.

“Everything is going to be alright. You did nothing wrong and is a proud mother of three so walk out of here confidently.” She calmed me down and although I manage to give her a smile, I couldn’t stop my thumping heart.

“No matter what happens out there know that we would be by your side.” Hyomin unnie said as she pat my head.

“Thank you. Really.” I said as she gave me a smile in return before all of us got into our seats and prepare for landing.

As usual we waited for everyone to get off the plane before we get off and board the two cars with the heaviest tainted glass that you can find in Korea that Hyomin unnie and YG papa has prepared for the four of us, with Kim omma and me in the second car while Hyomin unnie and Yoon Shik oppa took the first car with Hoon. In the mean time, our luggage have been picked by a staff that Hyomin unnie has appointed, which would be delivered to YG office where we are currently heading to while some of the bulky items that can’t be brought on this flight are currently being shipped over via air cargo.

Although expected, my prayers weren’t heard as the moment our transport made it’s way off the tarmac and approach the exit to leave the airport, tons of people with cameras started to swamp and surround both cars to the point that for a moment the drivers couldn’t move the cars, afraid that someone might get hurt. It was only when the airport security came over to assist and form a human wall between our car and the press were we then able to make our way out.

As we drive down the roads and started to get closer to the city, I find myself looking out of the window at the sceneries as we pass by and tears started twirling in my eyes. It reminded me of the time when I first came to Seoul to fulfill my dream as a singer, how I was amazed at everything around and living a totally new life. In a blink of eye it has already been close to 3 years since I’ve debuted as a solo artist and even started my acting career. It has also been close to 3 years since I left this place, starting a whole new life as a mother, leaving as one and returning as 4.

Arriving at the YG building, the car stop as close as it could to the glass entrance. When both cars came to a stop, a group of security in black came running out from the security office and form a human wall to the right and this was when I realize that tons of fans and even reporters carrying cameras with lens as long as cannons crowding outside the gates. Despite the human wall, I hesitated to make a move off the transport until JK oppa and Jjangmae oppa came forward to open our car door.

“Did you have a good trip? Welcome back.” The two of them said as I greeted them.

“Oppa…” I said as I shift my gaze to the group of paparazzi outside then to the human wall.

“YG arranged this, just in case we got ‘guest’.” JK oppa explained. “Don’t worry they are all over 183cm. I tried walking through them yesterday. There is no way anyone outside can see or take a picture of anyone entering.” He assured and it was then when I let my guard down.

They first assisted Hoon, Hyomin unnie and Yoon Shik oppa who were in the car in front of ours into the building before both of them came to me, forming another human wall around me as they me into the building with Kim omma leading the way. I was thankful that Hoon didn’t make much noise despite the short walking distance between their vehicle and the building lobby for if he did, and in the situation whereby paparazzi only think that someone important is coming over, they would then know that YG is trying to hide a child from the public and probe further, which might then expose us. Once in the building, JK oppa and Jjangmae oppa made sure that all of us are alright before the lift arrive to carry us up to the 7^th floor to look for YG appa.