“Are you alright?” Jiyong oppa asked making me nod.

“Used to goodbyes now but I still need time to get myself back.” I said, sniffing while Hoon looked up amused at his omma shedding tears, things that he don’t really get to see cause every time I was crying I would hide away from him unless times like this.

“Hoon ah tell mummy not to cry anymore. Come on pat mummy and tell her not to cry.” Jiyong oppa said as he got Hoon in his arms and holding onto Hoon’s arm, he made Hoon pat me.

“Such a good boy. Omma wouldn’t cry anymore neh?” I said as I roughly wipe my tears away.

“Don’t cry anymore. You’ll be coming back soon right? If we can’t get a chance to come to Gwangju, I’ll bring them here like I’ve promised.” Jiyong oppa assured as he wipe my tears off my face.

“You promise?”

“I promise. Pinky promise~” He said flashing his gummy smile and I can’t help but to smile.  “Yay mummy’s not crying anymore~” Jiyong oppa said to Hoon, making the young boy smile as well.

“Ottoke?” I asked softly making him look at me.

“Is something wrong?”

“How can you and Hoon get to close to one another within such a short period of time?”

“Well we’re father and son after all. He’s the result of my and my blood flows in his vessels. It’s natural that we get close really fast.”

“But that’s not what I want.” I said but when I realise what I was speaking I quickly changed my words. “I mean, he’s so used to your presence, he’s going to make a fuss when he doesn’t see you.” I said making him smile as he pulls me by the back of my neck closer to him, stealing a kiss from me as we rest our forehead against each other’s.

“Then stay. Even if you’ve not forgiven me, even if you don’t want to stay under the same roof as me, an arrangement can be made for me to visit you guys at least at night or in the morning so that Hoon gets to see me every day. I don’t want Hoon to grow up not knowing that ‘m his father.”

“But Hawaii…”

“I know. You still have Rihanna’s tour and many things to handle. How about I join you in Hawaii?”

“The boys need you.”

“They can wait. But I can’t. I don’t want my son to forget that I’m his father.” Jiyong oppa said making me close my eyes and shake my head as I raise my palm up to caress his cheeks.

“He wouldn’t. He’ll miss you because he is your son.”

“Come back immediately after you’re done with work there alright?” He asked making me nod.

From our trip to the airport till the time we get on the private jet, the two of us was cuddling with one another in our seats with Hoon between us on either one of our laps. Dara unnie and SE7EN oppa has been taking a lot of pictures of us three, claiming that we’re the most beautiful family that they have ever seen. While on the plane, I allowed Jiyong oppa to hold Hoon through the plane ride and it was really nice to see them interacting with one another. However it seems like Hoon wasn’t happy, as if knowing that as soon as this plane lands, he would have to bid his father goodbye.

“We’re going to miss you.” YG appa said as he gave me a hug.

“Me too.”

“Yoon Ji ah/Unnie~” the 2NE1 girls said as we got one another in a group hug.

“Unnie you’ll come back soon right? For us?” Mingkki asked.

“I will. 2 weeks. I’ll finish producing Pixie’s song and then with Rihanna’s one and I hope by 2 weeks I would be back for you all.”

“Take good care of yourself. Knowing you, you would be so busy with Hoon and neglect yourself. Don’t worry about Jiyong oppa. We’ll all take good care of him for you and Hoon while you two are gone alright?” Chaerin unnie said making me nod.

“Oppa take care of my unnies and Mingkki for me alright?” I asked making them nod as they gave me an individual hug.

“We’ll miss you. Come back soon. We’ll be waiting to share the same stage or at least see you on stage again real soon alright?” Youngbae oppa said.

“Oppa get settled soon. You’ve been with Hanbyul unnie for so long already. It’s time for you guys to create your own family. Hoon told me he wants a playmate soon so I’m counting on you guys.” I said making the couple laugh embarrassedly.

“Oppa promise you that you would be invited to our wedding and I hope I don’t have to pay for your flight back to Korea just for our wedding.” SE7EN oppa said and I knew what he meant.

“Gummy unnie you too. Get a man who you can lean on soon and marry off before it’s too late~”

“Yah you napun dongsaeng!” Gummy unnie said knocking my head with her fist for teasing her but we shared a hug soon after.

“I know. I should get a girlfriend soon too don’t remind me.” Teddy oppa said making me laugh as we hug.

“I don’t want to go to a wedding to see that the bride is a sound deck.” I said, teasing him for his love towards his music equipments.

“It’s be a lady that is so much taller and prettier then you.” He said.

“She better be!” I said as all of us laughed.

“Babe~” Jiyong oppa called out to me and as if getting the clue, everyone bid us goodbye and decided to wait in the transport that would bring them towards the airport terminals for them to clear immigration for Jiyong oppa to be done talking with me.

“Oppa~” I said before we share a hug after Hoon was handed over to Yoon Shik oppa.

“I love you~ I love you so so much~” He said as he squeeze me a little tight, causing me to be lifted off the ground for a second.

“I love you too. I really do.” I said when he places me down before he lean in to give me a kiss on my lips with me resting my hands on his shoulders.

“I’ve learnt my mistake already. I shouldn’t have left you alone when you were working so hard and was tired physically and mentally when you were working as YGgirls. I should have been there for you but instead I was acting like a total jerk. I even hurt you because of my silly thoughts, thinking that that is the only way I could make you mine. I’m really sorry.”

“Oppa it’s already all in the past.”

“I love you babe. I’ll take your departure as my punishment and I promise you I would be a good boy after receiving it. Just promise me you wouldn’t punish me too much? I don’t know…I don’t know if I can take it if you’re away for me for another 2 years.” Jiyong oppa said and a tear escape from his eyes, making me wipe them quickly with my thumb.

“Don’t cry oppa. I promise you when I’m back for the girls, we’ll definitely have family day alright?”

“Promise?”

“Promise~” I said as I show him the ring that he wore on my ring finger.

“Yoon Ji ah we have to leave soon.” Yoon Shik oppa said while Hyomin unnie nodded.

“Come here Hoon, you’ve to say bye bye to papa too.” I said making Yoon Shik oppa come to me with Hoon.

“Hoon ah although you’re still young, you have to try and take good care of omma alright? Don’t make things difficult for omma and make her happy always. Only then would you be a good boy to appa neh?” Jiyong oppa said as he hugs Hoon tightly.

When it was time for us to leave, I tried to get Hoon over but he refuse to let go, as if knowing that if he let his appa go, he wouldn’t get to see his father again. He was so attached to his father that he ended up crying against Jiyong oppa’s neck when we both tried to force him to leave with me. Having no choice, Jiyong oppa decided to pacify him and most probably waking up early plus no naps in between, he was starting to get tired and fell asleep against his shoulders, only then did I took him over in my arms.

“I’m sorry.” I said when I felt as if I was breaking the son and father up, forcing them to separate but there was no way out of this for I can’t leave Hoon behind too. He has been my everything ever since I’ve given birth to him.

“I’m the one who should say sorry. If only you conceive Hoon the normal way, if only I didn’t do all that to you, if only I have been there for you no matter what happen, you wouldn’t have to face all this alone and hide yourself from everyone.” Jiyong oppa said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

“I’ve made a decision oppa.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“The next time I come back for the girls, if I can settle everything in Hawaii by then…I’ll come back for good.” I said.

“Really? You mean it?” He asked and a smile immediately creep n his face.

“I can’t bear to separate Hoon from you. He needs you. But if I need more time, will you wait for me oppa?”

“I will. As long as you would come back to Korea and eventually come back to me, I’ll wait.” He said as he got me in a hug again.

“That day will definitely come oppa. I can promise you that.”

“I love you~” He said before we share one last kiss.

“I…I’ve to go.” I said, noticing that if I don’t leave now, the gates would soon be open to public and I would be spotted. I have been allowed to enter the plane at least 15 minutes earlier than the others so that when I’m already in my seat, no one would see that I have a child while 15 minutes was enough for me to settle Hoon as well.

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Real soon.”  I said before Jiyong oppa got onto the bus while I head up the stairs to the plane and only when I see the bus leave for the terminal did I then enter the plane along with Yoon Shik oppa and Hyomin unnie, who was only going to assist me and oppa in settling down on the plane first before she left.

Before we could settle down fully, my phone rang, alerting me that I have a new message but since I was busy with settling down, I only gave it my attention after I was ready. Seems like Jiyong oppa has send me a message to the number that Hyomin unnie brought for me since I’ve deactivated my old Korean number and using my Hawaii contact to call was too expensive. Opening the message, I notice that it was a song that oppa has sent and plugging my earpiece to it, I played it.

Bad Boy (BIGBANG)

 I was too harsh that night
I didn’t know you would really leave
The words, “I’m sorry”, is too difficult for us that we take itto the end
Because I’m ill-tempered
We fight over stupid things numerous times a day
You take off crying, I look around and think,
‘She’ll come back tomorrow. She’ll definitely call me first in the morning’

Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want to be good to you but it’s hard
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)

I’m the one you lovebut sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get toknow me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I knowyou still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady

You say that I’m different than other guys so it’s hard
You’re still like a young girl with a soft heart
For you, who is always smilingnext to me, I’m still too young
With the excuse that I’m busy, I postpone our date
Because I’m sorry, because I’m frustrated, I turn my head
The bride in mydreams is just a friendnow
Upset over the breakup, we are silent

Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want to be good to you but it’s hard
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)

I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady

Don’t say a thing
I act tough but I’m not inside
Don’t abandon me
You know that there’s no one who will understand me like you, baby
Oh you, come back to me ye ye ye

I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady

I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Sorry I’m a bad boy, Sorry I’ma bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
You’re a good girl, you’re a good girl (X2)