I notice that alot of you are caught off-guard by the twins revealation :D

And I'm really happy to hear that!!!

To be honest when I'm writing this, I have never expect it to be such a hit ^^

kekeke :D

I'm working at the counter alone tomorrow again and I really hope I can write another 3 chapters!!!

I think I only have 2 or 3 chapters left on hand :D

So I really need to buck up ^^

My next off day is Sunday and if I can I would definitely update on my off day or even after my shift (maybe during my shift if I can as well ^^)

Hope to hear alot from you guys :D

“She was carrying twins.” Yoon Shik oppa said and I could already feel my lips trembling as I pursed them together tightly to refrain myself form tearing.

“T…twins?” Jiyong oppa said making Yoon Shik oppa nod before he got me in his arms.

“You are going to be okay~” He said as he pat my head before pushing it to rest against his stomach.

“If she was carrying twins then why…”

“We lost the other boy.” Yoon Shik oppa said, cutting Bom unnie’s words while I buried my face into Yoon Shik oppa’s stomach, causing the young one who was falling asleep to actually wake up as he climb up to rest his little head on my shoulders, as if comforting me.

“What happened?” YG appa asked.

“Since it was twins, naturally one would be weaker and the other stronger. For the first few months all seems to be fine but as time goes by we realize that one of them was getting smaller in size. As they were twins, it was bound for them to fight for the nutrients that Yoon Ji took. Yoon Ji tried her best to eat as much as she could, doubling and even tripling the amount she usually took, hoping that the other boy would grow up as well but it didn’t work.”

“Hoon was the stronger one?” Youngbae oppa asked making Yoon Shik oppa shake his head.

“The stronger one was Hoon’s hyung, the one that passed away. ”

“But how can that be?” Minzy asked making Yoon Shik oppa pat Hoon’s head.

“I guess this is love. Hoon was the weaker and smaller one in the first place. The Kims were so sure that if one of them couldn’t survive, that would be Hoon but things change. Hoon started growing tremendously when Yoon Ji increased her intake of food and for once we saw hope that both were going to survive but Hoon’s hyung stopped growing as Hoon grew. It was as if he knew that Hoon needs the nutrients and gave it all to him, leaving none for himself.” Yoon Shik oppa explained.

“What happened after that?” Chaerin unnie asked.

“Yoon Ji was finally due and it took her almost 3 hours to finally dilate at 10 and soon enough the first baby was out. He was weak and we could all see that. He was immediately brought to the neonatal intensive care unit or you could say an ICU for the new born while Yoon Ji continues to deliver Hoon. Compared to Hoon, his hyung was so much smaller and weaker. It was only when she was delivering her placenta when an emergency was called. The boy was declared dead barely an hour after it was born.” Yoon Shik oppa said and I found myself tearing when he quickly wipe my tears dry.

“It’s my fault…I…he…” I said but Yoon Shik oppa stopped me.

“It wasn’t your fault sis. You tried your best and indeed you gave him life. Although he didn’t make it, he was once alive. I believe he is up there right now watching over you and Hoon. He gave life to Hoon. He sacrificed for his little brother so take good care of Hoon. You don’t want him to sacrifice himself for nothing right?” Yoon Shik oppa comforted me.

“Yoon Ji ah your brother is right. Take good care of Hoon. Also the portion of your care and love to Hoon’s brother, give it to Hoon like you are taking care of the both of them. After all they are twins aren’t they?” YG appa said.

“Why can’t he live? Why must he sacrifice? Can’t the both of them alive? Must it be that one of them must die?” I said, crying even more and suddenly I felt someone wrapping his arms around my body as I was brought into a tight hug.

I recognise that scent. The one that I would never forget ever in my life regardless of what has happened. I wanted to push him away but something tells me not to. I knew that something was my heart and deep down I long for his embrace. Maybe for once let me be selfish and let him comfort him cause he is all I need. He is the only one that could tell me that it is alright and for me to feel better.

“Hush now alright? Maybe this is fate. Don’t blame yourself.” Jiyong oppa said as I continue sobbing.

I could feel it, that he was devastated by this. After all he is the father of the twins. Not only was he be able to see my stomach grow, he didn’t see how the baby started to form and take shape in me, see the baby being brought to the world and most importantly Hoon’s first in every single thing. If YG appa didn’t know I came back, he would never have seen me, he would never know that he has a son nor will he know that he actually had twin sons but one of them couldn’t make it.

It took me some time to calm down in Jiyong oppa’s embrace while the others were either just staying quiet or trying to comfort me. Maybe because I have been taking quite a long time, Daesung oppa and TOP oppa decided to fool around and soon the atmosphere got lighter and I was getting back to the Yoon Ji I was a few hours back, the cheerful little girl that thinks that the world is a beautiful place as long as her son is with her.

“Thank you.” I muttered making everyone look at me.

“What for Yoon Ji ah?” YG appa asked.

“Thank you for coming down as soon as you heard news of me in Korea. I thought…running away was the best for everyone but I was wrong. It was now then I realise that your support actually meant more for me.” I said making YG appa smile.

“I guess I was partly at fault too.” YG appa said.

“How can it be your fault appa? It was my decision.” I said.

“To be honest, I knew you were pregnant that time.” YG appa said making everyone turn their attention to him.

“You did?” I asked.

“Well I was just suspecting that something was up. You were eating more and complaining that you are hungry all the time, which was kind of weird. You get tired easily and you weren’t feeling well in the morning. There were signs of pregnancy in you but I too thought that it would never happen, rather I wouldn’t want to believe that you got pregnant. Yoon Ji ah now that you are back, let Jiyong take care of you.”

“N-neh?” I asked, stuttering a little.

“Why do you guys always think that I don’t know what is going on? I may not be telling you guys what I know or found out but that is because I know you guys are adults who are old enough to solve your own problems. This son, he’s Jiyong’s right? The result of the “mistake” you told me two years ago when you left isn’t it? You think I was clueless that Jiyong actually you? You know how much I wanted to strangle him when I found out? This boy has been with me for over 10 years and it was the very first time that I really wanted to kick him out of the company for doing such a thing to the extent that I would make sure he would never be in this industry again? But you left because of him didn’t you? You left because you know if I found out you were pregnant with his child because of his actions, I would definitely do that right?”

Spot on. YG appa was right. One of the major reason as to why I left everything behind is because of Jiyong oppa. Scold me stupid and foolish for all you want but like I kept repeating,  I am still in love with the guy that me, or rather the father of my son. If YG appa knew that I got pregnant because Jiyong oppa me, he would definitely go all out to condemn Jiyong oppa and I believe it is going to be so much worse than how the girls actually reacted. I knew it would be the end of his career if everyone comes to know about Hoon. Rather than the two of us losing our career and can’t raise our son up, why not just let me give up on mine since the boy was in my tummy it actually marks the end of my career.

“Ji--” and before I could finish I felt something wet against my chest to see that baby Hoon actually vomited the milk that he took earlier much to my expectations. “Good job baby.” I said as I encourage him to just empty himself since I know that every time he starts to vomit, only when he vomits everything would he then feel better.

“Seems like it’s another sleepless night tonight.” Yoon Shik oppa exclaimed as I made him go get me a clean cloth so that I can wipe myself clean.

“Feeling better now? Aigoo my poor baby must be feeling awful.” I said kissing his forehead before getting the cloth, wiping his mouth first before I wipe the milk off my body. “Excuse us.” I said before I got Hoon with me into the room so that I can clean him up as well as change.

Giving Hoon a quick bath, I changed him into his pyjamas since it was kind of late and this little boy has to go to sleep soon as well. When I was done with dressing him up, I too wipe myself with a wet towel to get the vomit off me before changing into a new set of top. Grabbing all the dirty laundry, I held Hoon’s hands before we made our way out to the living room where everyone was still waiting for us.

“Panda on the loose!!!” I said when Hoon got his hands out of my hold as he ran towards the crowd to where Yoon Shik oppa was.

“OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!!” I heard the girls exclaimed making me smile before I head off to do some laundry.

“Yah when did you get this? Why didn’t I see this before?” Yoon Shik oppa asked as everyone crowd around the cute panda baby.

“Well I saw it at the mall that day and thought it look super cute. It even came with mittens!!!” I exclaimed. Mittens are essential just in case they happen to scratch and cause a scar to our handsome Hoon’s face. And since it can get cold for babies at night, I have also put on black socks to keep him warm and thus completing his panda outfit.

“Aigoo he look just like me!” Seungri oppa exclaimed making Jiyong oppa smack his head.

“Yah that’s my son.” Jiyong oppa said before he tried to get Hoon’s attention. Suddenly my phone rang, making me stop what I’m doing while I look at Yoon Shik oppa.

“That ringtone…” I said as if it was something scary.

“Girl what are you standing there for? Quickly pick it up!” Yoon Shik oppa said before I put down whatever I was doing and pick up the phone.

“Who’s that?” Seungri oppa asked Yoon Shik oppa softly but the latter didn’t reply.

“Song speaking~” I picked up the phone in English.

“This is James and I’m calling from Def Jam.”

“Def Jam?”

“Yes. I believe my colleague has contacted you before right?”

“Yes indeed but may I know what is it regarding about this time?”

“I hope you would accept our proposal this time.”

“Proposal?”

“You are aware of our artist Rihanna right?”

“Yes I do.”

“Rihanna has actually appointed you to be her producer for the upcoming album that she is going to release along with her world tour.”

“W-wait what?!!”