Hey guys!!!

Sorry it took me so long to update!!!

BIGBANG Alive Tour in Singapore was just awesome!!!

Seriously the best time and memories of my life :D

I miss them so much already ><

Anyway for those who are interested to read my fan account on the Singapore concerts or if you guys want to know what to expect during their concert before they head to your country I have it posted on my Tumblr here: http://babygdbong.tumblr.com/post/33212371733/fan-account-on-big-bang-alive-galaxy-world-tour-2012

Also thanks for those who wished me a Happy Birthday!

I had fun with my family at Universals Studios Singapore the following day :D

Great times ^^

After that it was lots of procrastination on my side so updates took a really long time and I’m sorry for that ><

School officially starts for me tomorrow and I know I keep telling you guys I would try hard to update once a day and I would really put in effort to do so but if I’m slow please forgive me!

After all it’s my last semester before I official graduate!!!

That’s all I have for you guys!

Hope to see many comments coming in :D

“Omma omma~”

“Yes baby boy?” I asked as I see him running a little to me, despite being only 18months old. “Aigoo slow down sweetie.” I said, bending my back a little so that I can hug the little one who was wrapping himself like a koala around my legs.

“Sis you too be careful.” Yoon Shik oppa said as he comes up to us and got Hoon up into his arms so as to bring my baby to eye level.

“Aigoo oppa aren’t you a little too over-protective?” I asked, giving Hoon a pout as a form of apology to him for not being able to carry him.

“I’m just being safe rather than sorry.” He said making me roll my eyes at him jokingly, making sure that Hoon didn’t see me doing that for at this age where he could pick up 10 new words a day, and even our actions, there isn’t a time where we can let our guard down if we don’t want Hoon to pick all this up.

“It’s not as if this is my first time oppa.” I said, taking a seat on the sofa with Yoon Shik oppa following suit.

“Sis mom called in the morning when you weren’t feeling well and she’s wondering if this time we’re going back for good.” He said, letting his hold around Hoon loose when he notice that Hoon wants to come to me while I reach my hand out, just in case he falls off the sofa. As soon as Hoon came towards me, he rests his head on my stomach, making me smile as I his head.

“And what did you told her?”

“Oh the usual~ You needing more time to consider. I can hear that she’s really disappointed even if she keeps mentioning that it’s alright and she understands.”

“I didn’t expect things to turn out this way too.”

“Well more like you refuse to face everyone back in Korea.”

“I’m just not ready for this okay?”

“Why aren’t you ready? I thought you guys already prepared it the last time we were back with Hoon? Did you even inform hyung about this?”

“Let’s not talk about that for now alright?”

“But…”

“Oppa we should prepare now. You know very well we have many things to do today.” I said, giving him a look to tell him that I don’t feel like talking about it right now.

“Fine. I’ll prepare Hoon’s bag. Let’s go prepare Hoon~” He said, standing up to carry Hoon as they disappeared into my room.

I sat there for a moment digesting what Yoon Shik oppa just told me. Of course this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard him bringing the issue of returning to Korea to me, with it’s the frequency increasing since one month ago but I didn’t do much about it, explaining why we’re still here in the States despite my contributions to Rihanna’s World Tour is very much done two month ago and she’s already traveling around performing sold-out concerts. As promise, I’ve wrote her a song, produced it for her and even help give opinions regarding her tour despite me having no experience in a solo concert, much less a world tour one but her point of view was that I would be useful since kpop has been so popular recently and I was once part of that awesome music group. Besides I have experience on stage so she thought that my opinions should be sought too.

“Hey you okay? Are you feeling uncomfortable in any way?” Yoon Shik oppa’s voice knock me out of trance making me look up to see that Hoon and him are ready to leave for what we have to do today.

“I’m fine oppa. Just doing a little thinking back there. You and Hoon are ready to go?” I asked, getting up from the sofa carefully.

“Hmmm. Go get ready. I’ll just head to the kitchen to get ready Hoon’s milk and food.” Yoon Shik oppa said making me give him a thankful nod before I head into the room.

It has been what? 4 months? It has been almost 4 months since we’ve came back from Korea. Time flies really quickly, most probably because for the first two months thing was really really hectic while dealing with Rihanna’s concert. The second month back here was the most tiring for me as the concert is at its last stage of preparations along with her first few concerts at the end of the month while I wasn’t feeling really well during that time due to fatigue.

And just when I thought that finally it was time for me to rest well, Hoon was already at the age where he is all hyper and curious even if he still can’t talk. Running around after him every day while Yoon Shik oppa was away, felt like I was running 3 rounds around Seoul without a break. Finally when Hoon decides it was time and that he was tired enough to take a nap, I was finally free to do housework, all the way until Hoon wakes up and then the cycle repeats again.

Now that I’m not working anymore and be a mom at home, Yoon Shik oppa had to work even harder to help out and make ends meet. Okay maybe I’m a little exaggerating there for the royalties I’m getting every month was at least ten times more than what Yoon Shik oppa is getting from work but still we tried as much as we can not to touch those money and instead shift them to Hoon’s education fund and also to our parents back in Gwangju. After all they are getting older and we were hoping for them to retire and just enjoy life, maybe travel a little here and there.

Not only Yoon Shik oppa but the Kim family were rather worried that I couldn’t cope with Hoon now that I’m alone with him at home most of the time. Yoon Shik oppa even engage me in a discussion as to whether or not we need a maid to help me with housework so that I can focus on Hoon but considering that I could still handle Hoon despite it being really tiring thing to do, such talks were put one side for the moment.

Calls from Korea from our parents have been coming in as frequent as I’ve mentioned earlier over the past month or two. Not only were our parents curious as to when we would be moving back to Korea, since we actually promised them, along with those back at YG Entertainment and also Hyomin unnie that we were going to be back as soon as I was done with Rihanna but once again I was unable to fulfil that, disappointing everyone. Also our family being the only ones that have contact means with us have been receiving quite a fair amount of stress too, especially from Jiyong oppa who too is getting anxious as time drags longer, wondering why I have yet to return to Korea back to him.

Reason?

It’s because…

*ding dong*

“Yoon Ji ah could you get the door?”

We’ll talk in a while wouldn’t we?

“Neh!” I shouted since I was behind closed doors, fixing myself and grab everything that I needed before heading out. I left my belongings on the sofa so that I have a free hand before I head to the door to see who was the one coming to visit without informing prior, which is like a once in a blue moon thing.

“Yoon Ji~”

“O…oppa? What are you doing here?!!” I asked shocked.

“I…” He scratches his scalp with his fingers, something he always did when he was nervous and sometimes loss.

“Who’s that sis?” Yoon Shik oppa asked but according to his tone I knew this had something to do with him.

“Aaaapppa?” A small voice called out making me turn to see Hoon running while stumbling since he is still unstable while running as he made his way to the door.

“Aigoo our Hoon grown up didn’t he? He can say appa now~” He said while lifting Hoon off the ground in his arms.

“Hyung I’m in the kitchen. Come inside first alright? I’ll be out in a sec.” Yoon Shik oppa said making him look at me.

“O…okay” He said, walking pass me into the house without even asking if it was alright for him to do so on my side.

“Hyung you’re here! I was so worried that you couldn’t make it here on time.” Yoon Shik oppa said as he brought out with him what we needed to bring out with us today.

“I almost couldn’t make it here.” He said as he scratches his nape.

“Erm…can someone tell me what’s going on here?” I asked.

“Ah right…you’re not going to kill me right? Well even if you want to you can’t. At least not for this few months.” He chuckles. “Okay I’ll be serious here sis, I just don’t want you to go through all of this yourself again. And I know you don’t want that to happen too as much as I do. I just did what you’ve always wanted to do yet didn’t have the courage to.”

“Eh? What about what I want and gave no courage to do so?” I asked.

“You know what I’m talking about sis.”

“I…”

“I guess you two need time alone. Hyung will you be alright with Hoon? Or do you want me to hold onto him?” Yoon Shik oppa asked.

“We’ll be out soon. Thanks Shik.” He said as he handed Hoon over to Yoon Shik oppa.

“Oppa…oppa told you everything?” I asked carefully after a moment of silence between us.

“He thought I needed to know about this and well…”

“What?”

“He believes that I’m the only one who can talk you into coming back to Korea.”

I was shocked. Not just right now but ever since I saw Jiyong oppa standing at the door of our Hawaii apartment my mind blank out almost immediately and I’ve yet to even get myself back despite the fact that he is sitting in front of me right now. I didn’t know how to react for I wasn’t even anticipating his arrival. Now that he is in front of me, it seems like there were too many things to explain, why I didn’t return as promise, why didn’t I contact him if I felt that I wasn’t ready to return and most importantly informing him about my current condition.

“I…I’ve got to go…” I stuttered, getting up as quickly as I can although it isn’t the same for my body anymore but before I could even make one step forward he was already blocking my path in front.

“I think there is something I should hear from you personally.” He said, holding my arms as he refrain me from advancing further.

“Let me go…” I said as I tried to push past him and although he wasn’t holding me really tight due to my condition but still enough to keep me in his hold.

“There’s something I should hear from you personally right? Yoon Ji ah I’ve come all the way here and…”

“I didn’t ask for you to come.” I said coldly as I tried again to get out of his hold.

“Song Yoon Ji! How long are you going to hide this from me? From us? Huh?”

“I’m not hiding. I’m just…it’s just…I’m just waiting for the right t--”

“Right time? Isn’t this timing right already? Now that I’m all the way across the globe from where I was supposed to be standing in front of you?”

“But I’m not ready!!! The right time is when I know how I can explain why I can’t go back after knowing my condition, why I didn’t tell you guys immediately and how to deal with you guys’ reactions.”

“Is it that difficult for you to tell me personally that you’re pregnant?!!”