"Hyukie? "N calls out as he reenter his room, this time, wearing a pair of fresh clothing. "Did you disturb my things? "He wonders when he notice that Hyuk is holding something in his hands. 

Hyuk's head jerks up as he hears N's voice and at that instance, he dropped the thing in his hand, which happened to be the journal he picked up from under N's pillow. "H-hyung... "he stutters, realizing that he got caught red handed. "I-I... "

N walks over towards him and picked the journal up from where Hyuk has dropped it on the floor. "It's yours, isn't it? "He asks without really hoping for an answer as he sits down next to the maknae. "I found it when I was taking the trash out. "

Hyuk shifts nervously as he glance over at N, checking his expression but N's face is void of emotion. "Hyung, I... "He sighs, knowing that he shouldn't create any excuse. "Did you... read it? "

N shrugs. "I did. "He admits. "Not everything, of course. But just enough to know what is it all about. "

Hyuk immediately drop his head at that,convinced that N is going to be mad at him once more. "I'm sorry. "He mutters. 

"Don't be. "N says. "There's nothing to be sorry of because there's nothing wrong with being angry, jealous or anything. You're a human and you have feelings. "He explains. 

Hyuk feels a bit at ease thanks to N's words but he's still anxious whether N is just saying all that to assure him and not because he really doesn't mind it. "Hyung--"

"I'm just wondering about one thing, Hyukie." N blurts out, shifting his gaze to look at his own feet rather than looking at Hyuk. "Do you hate me that much? "

"No,hyung! "Hyuk quickly denies. "I didn't hate you.I was just... envious of you. "He tries explaining himself eventhough he's not quite sure if N is going to believe him. "You have everything hyung... "He mumbles . "You have good look, talent and confidence but me? I have nothing. So that's why I envy you. "

N chuckles at the maknae's confession. "Everything, you say? "He echoes. "I only have a little bit of a talent, Hyuk-ah. But the reason I can go this far is because of you, all of you. You're the main reason I make it this far. I don't want to dissapoint or embarrass any of you so I work hard to excel in anything that I do. I know I should lead by example. "He explains before smiling sadly. "But that time... when you wished for that one thing... my heart just crumbled, you know? I feel like everything I've done all these time are pointless because I didnt manage to make you feel proud of me or see me as someone worth looking up to. "

"W-wish? "

"You wished for me to be mute, remember? "N reminds the maknae. 

Hyuk feels his heart drop at the reminder. Sure, he wasn't really joking when he made that wish but now that he's finally in his right mind rather than being controlled by envy and jealousy, he seriously feels stupid for even thinking of wishing such vulgar thing. "Hyung,I--"

"Hyuk-ah, if I'm mute, then I'll never be here, you know that right? "N says. "I'm here now because I have my voice, because I can sing even when my singing isn't that nice. "

"I know, hyung... "

"So when you made that wish, to me, if feels like you wish for me to never be here. And it hurts, Hyuk-ah. It hurts a lot. "