Leo has to admit it. Yes, he has to admit that N deserve to beat them up. But he has never imagine and can't never imagine it. Also, he never knew what he and the rest of the members did hurt N that much because N would always laugh it off like it's nothing. Well, it's proven that N really is a great actor after all. 

"Don't I, Taekwoon? Don't I deserve it? "N prompts when Leo only stares at him. N's face is getting pale by the seconds and his breathing laboured. Minhyuk tries his best to get the leader to calm down but N just continues to shut him off by pretending like he doesn't hear him. 

"I'm sorry. "Leo whispers. There's nothing else he could say except that. He realise that all this time, he has been too blind and oblivious of N's feeling. "I never knew. "

N laughs. No, he tried to. But then it turn into coughs; loud, dry cough and he had to bend down to catch his breath, which doesn't do him good as it only makes his wheeze harder. 

"Hakyeon, please! "Minhyuk pleads, getting panicked. He's scared, he really is. He has never witness N in such condition and he doesn't know what to do. What he does know is that N is just making his own condition worse by forcing himself to talk in such distress but Minhyuk couldn't do anything about it as the leader refused to listen to him. 

"Do you know why? Why I never beat any of you? "N asks, this time, his voice is softer and it comes in between harsh breaths. 

' No. 'Leo wanted to say but he can't. It feels like all words suddenly vanish from his mind. 

A smile which looks more like a grimace appears over N's face as he answers his own question. "It's because I love you so much. I love all of you so much. I love all of you more than I love myself and I'm willing to sacrifice anything and everything for you, even my own heart, my feelings. "

Leo could hear it, feel it. The sincereness in N's words. And he knows the rest of the members could too. 

"You can continue to hurt me, that's okay. "N assures. "You can even try to kill me and I'll never gonna fight back."he adds. 

"Hakyeon! "Leo couldn't help but to raise his voice. He's shocked that N even think of such things. 

"So, Taekwoon, if I can hold all that pain just because I love all of you, can't you do the same? Can you hold it in? Even just for a bit? You can scold them but not hurt them physically. I know you love your dongsaengs. I know you love Hyuk, he's your precious dongsaeng, right?"

Leo never really get the chance to answer as N speaks up again. 

"If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me. I can't watch any of you getting hurt, Taekwoon. Yes, even you. "N claims. "So... please? "

Once again, Leo doesn't get the chance to respond as all of sudden, N drops. His legs give way from under him and he almost hit the floor if it wasn't for Minhyuk catching him. 

"HAKYEON/HYUNG! "

♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡

I'M SORRY!!! 

I FORGOT TO CLICK ON THE HIDE CHAPTER WHILE I'M WRITING SO SOME OF YOU COULD ACTUALLY WATCH ME WRITE!! 

 THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! 

I'M SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!!! I WAS TOO DISTRACTED! 

Sorry for the caps lock.. excuse me while I go bury myself..