AMBER’S POV:

I signaled the bartender for another round of bourbon and he obliged, I chugged it down to my throat in one gulped, I can’t even remember how many shoots I take. Flashbacks of her kept running inside my head like it’s gonna explode any moment, the memories of her. Why would she leave me again? Doesn’t she love me even for a bit? These past months that we’ve shared intimate and happy moments? Was it all a lie? Was it just my imagination thinking that she might love me too? How we made love was imprinted in my mind permanently, how she begged for it, how beautiful it was to see her crumble with my touch, how she told me that she loves every bit of it. My heart is so broken into pieces right now, and I keep on thinking how she said “I love you too Amber” she said it looking deep in my eyes, those words coming out from , the words that I’ve been longing to hear finally came out of . She said it like she means every bit of it, but why? Why does it all have to end? Don’t I deserve to be happy?

I signaled for another round when “Stop it, Amber, I won’t let you continue drinking, look at yourself, I can feel your pain but I won’t just listen and seat here while you kill yourself with those” she chugged down my bourbon, I growled at her but instead she smacked my head making my face fall on top of the counter. I can’t even talk to Hyung right now coz he’s in Busan, thank Ailee for being here. “Sorry” she mumbled assisting me to seat up straight but I was too drunk so I let it be, tears fell from my eyes unconsciously, “pour it out Ber” she said rubbing my back. I met Ailee in a very same situation like this but she’s kinda like in my situation right now, head plopped on the counter crying her eyes out on me, it was the time when Soojung wanted a break from us, I usually go at this VIP bar alone and sometimes with Hyung, her boyfriend of eight years just cheated on her. At first she shoved me away of course we were both strangers back then but when I told her my story, she opened up to me too. So Ailee is somewhat my confiding slash drinking buddy when it comes to our broken hearts. “At least tell me everything, maybe it can lessen your pain” she said with a comforting voice.

FLASHBACK:

Everything was perfect and so I thought it was, I knew Aiden’s gonna wake up anytime, but not this soon. When I saw the caller my heart immediately pounded faster, faster that when Soojung told me that she loves me too, it felt bitter sweet. Hearing dad’s words, I felt out of breath, I feel the pain in my heart, I tried to take in his words but some part of me wishes that it was all in my dreams. “Amber why are we going in the opposite way, isn’t home the other way?” Soojung asked innocently trying to look me in the eye. I tried so hard to keep a straight face, pushing back my tears, I can’t be selfish, I can’t lie to her, I just can’t and Aiden is still my brother, the brother whom I longed for all these years. I glanced at her belly and looked at her in the eyes, her eyes full of worry. I reached for her hand and kiss them gently and flashed a smile at her. Somewhat it calmed her senses; she smiled warmly at me making my heart melt.

“Why are we in the hospital Am?” she asked with furrowed brows looking at me demanding an explanation. We’re going to see someone very important Soojung, I mumbled trying to hide the pain in my voice, “Do I know that person?” she asked and I reached for her hand dragging her with me. You’ll see Princess I said with a heavy heart every step I make feels like the end of me, it’s like I’m taking her to the person whom her heart belongs to. I’m taking her to my brother, the love of her life, the one that she loves. I sighed as soon as we entered the elevator, it was silent and since we we’re all alone inside, I somewhat feel suffocated, she leaned closer to me and held my hands tightly. She’s like in deep thought too but I chose not to talk, I guided her to the west wing and the nearer we are to his room, I feel like my legs are shaking, my tears are welling up my eyes, but I did what I do best, I hide what I’m feeling. I think she sensed something was up, we both stopped at the door, our eyes met, and naturally I pulled her close tasting her lips once more, I kissed her conveying all my emotions at that moment and she did too, we pulled out of breath. “You’re scaring me Am” she said catching her breath as she held my face, I just smiled at her and wrapped her in my arms. I hugged her so dearly, Soojung ah, thank you for letting me love you I whispered in her ears, you should know that my heart only beats for you. She pulled out from our hug but before she could even speak the door swing open revealing my father’s face.

Soojung stared blankly frozen on her position when we heard dad’s words, Dissociative Amnesia, so that’s why he asks for her, he doesn’t remember anything about the incident, how he disappeared and reappeared few days ago, no nothing, I was deep in my thought, and I didn’t noticed that dad said he’ll talk to Aiden’s doctors first. “So thi