''I love and lost and yet she loved but I got lost.'' Kyuhyun mumbled as he raised his shot of soju for the nth time. It’s been days since the accident between him and Dara occurred. Now, every member of Super Junior and 2NE1 knows what they ''have'' or now “had”.

The other members just watched as the maknae drowned himself in alcohol because they did not know how to console him or at least make him feel better.

            "I have never seen our maknae this lonely. I think the last time that I saw him like this was when he just joined Super Junior." Leeteuk whispered to the other members as they held a secret meeting without Kyuhyun.

            "Well he started speaking up against us so it’s not really surprising that he's not anymore bothered by the way we treat him." Kangin stated and sighed.

            "What should we do then?" Ryeowook asked and placed his hand on the leader's shoulder.

            "I am not used to seeing him like this." Sungmin added.

            "I hate this!" Eunhyuk exclaimed.

            "It’s almost scary when he's like this. I avoid him whenever I can." Donghae whispered as he nodded in fear remembering when he bumped into the lifeless Kyuhyun.

Donghae was about to eat his ramyun but his phone rang so he went to answer it. He turned around and bumped into Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun didn't even blink and immediately picked up the metal bowl that fell on the floor, ignoring the orange hot soup that got spilled on his chest.

''Mianhe hyung''. The maknae stated in his lifeless voice and went to the fridge to get a bottle of soju for another drinking session with himself.

            ''This is getting serious! We need to pray for him!" Siwon suggested and hugged Donghae from behind.

            "Just let him be. If I were Sandara I would have done that too or even more." Heechul coldly stated.

            "Say that again?" Sungmin asked as he grabbed Heechul's collar. The other members of Super Junior pulled Sungmin away from his hyung knowing his strength and the things he could do to Heechul.

Heechul straightened his back and cleared his throat as he fixed his clothes. He just glared at Sungmin and went to the direction of the door.

            "Well killing each other here won't help. We need evidence to prove our maknae's innocence." Heechul stated and left.

            "Calm down Sungmin. Hyung is right." Ryeowook stated with his widened eyes after seeing Kyuhyun watching them.

            "What happened here?" Kyuhyun asked and everyone just blinked while looking into his direction.

Heechul who went out just pouted after seeing his wrinkly clothes. He just sighed in dismay that he couldn't be his normal perfect self whenever his around Bom. He went to the coffee shop where they arranged to meet and saw Bom waiting for him while enjoying a cup of coffee latte.

            "Sorry I'm late, something happened at the dorm." Heechul stated and drank the coffee Bom ordered for him while she waited. He just sat down awkwardly in front of her. This was the first time they met after the incident so they could not helped but be quiet.

            "How is Kyuhyun?" Bom asked coldly and sighed. Despite her anger that night, she still wants to believe that she did nothing wrong.

            "We'll he's ... Drunk ...'' it took Heechul an awkward moment of silence before he was able to describe the maknae's situation. He could not quite understand him. He is used to being the one chased by girls and Bom is the only one whom he dashed to so everything is still new to him.

             ''Everyday he's drunk. He kept on staring blankly on the empty wall with his glass of soju on his hand, occasionally crying in between. Our members would try talking to him but he would just leave them and go to his bed but I doubt if he can even sleep." Heechul added trying to accurately describe the way Kyuhyun lived these past few days.

Bom just nodded trying to think of words that would be empathic enough for Kyuhyun's situation. In the end, it was Heechul who broke the other round of silence that formed between them.

            "How is she? Dara-ssi?" Heechul asked and stared at Bom's face.

            "Dara is awfully quieter now than normal. She's trying her best to not say anything that would make us worry but its obvious that she's not okay. She would just play with Dadoong and preferred to go home instead. CL is trying her best to explain things to the angry Thunder who's watching her noona's every move. Dara lost the spark that made her our santtoki." Bom retorted and sipped on her cup.

Dara who fled home to hide from her members just kept silent about her situation. She was embarrassed to see her members. Guilt and shame occupied her mind as she remembers how much she hid from them. They were by her side even after that and it made her feel worst. She's hurting because of Kyuhyun but she also hurting because of herself.

She just stared on the evening sky that was shown through her window when Thunder entered with Dadoong in his arms.

            ''He was crying and scratching your door but you wouldn't open it." Thunder said as he placed the cat on Dara's arms. He also gazed outside before looking down on the streets.

Dara pulled down the blinds and immediately went to her bed. She cuddled Dadoong tight and avoided her brother's gaze.

            "He's been standing there every night since you caught him. He would leave before the dawn breaks but would come out as soon as it turns dark." Thunder said but Dara just looked the other way.

            "If its making you uncomfortable then I guess I should go down and make him go away." Thunder claimed and went to the door but his noona grabbed his arm.

With her head lowered, Dara leaned against her dongsaeng's back and slowly, Cheondong felt wetness from behind. He didn't say anything until he noticed the sound of angry rain pouring outside.

            "I guess a lot of hearts are crying tonight." Thunder mumbled and saw his other unnie, Durami mouthing something to him.

            "Make him go home, he might get sick." Durami instructed and handed the umbrella to Cheondoong but before the maknae was able to touch it, Dara grabbed it and looked up with her tear stricken face.

            "I'll do it." She coldly stated.

            "But unnie!" Durami squealed and Thunder just grabbed his unnie's arm then shook his head.

            "Just let her be. She needs to deal with this herself." Thunder stated while Durami just sighed.

Dara went out while wearing her pajamas. It was raining hard so no one was really out in the pouring coldness of the night. She immediately went to where Kyuhyun was and saw his frozen statue gazing at her.

            "Go home and don't ever come back again." Dara said with emotionless voice the words Kyuhyun never thought he'll ever hear.

            "But I was set up. It was not my fault. I didn't know what was happening until I saw you there." Kyuhyun claimed and started crying. 

            "I know what I saw, I heard everything. You don't need to explain so just go and don't ever disturb me again. You're causing disturbance to our neighborhood. Come by again and I'll make sure that the security personnel of our company and the condo unit will deal with you." Dara said and turned her back on him.

Kyuhyun ran and hugged her from behind causing Dara to let go of the umbrella. The two of them showered in the pouring rain. The two of them cried without saying anything.

            "Let me go!" Dara screamed at him while crying.

            "How can I let you go when you're the only reason that I have for making this a lifetime worth living?" Kyuhyun asked and turned her to face him.

            "I'm sorry for hurting you in so much ways I know I shouldn't have but I cannot let you go. You're my only reason for being here, being an idol. I would have quitted a long time ago if it weren't for you.

That day, when you met me at the airport, I was not injured because a fan threw something at me. I tried to end my life that day but a fan saw me and tried to take the knife away from me.

I was dating Victoria at the time but then I learned that she was seeing Kangta and Changmin as well. I've always known that my best friend is a player but I could not let him go. It was at that same day that I met you, it was not the first time that I saw you as Dara but it was the first time I saw you as Sandara, the woman who made my heart flutter at her single touch. You took care of me like no one else did and I fell in love at the first sight. Everyday my thoughts became thoughts of loving you, how I can reach you and talk to you or just to be simply be with you.

Now that you're mine, how can you expect me to let you go? How can I let go of the woman who breathes life into this empty that I've been walking on?" Kyuhyun told her but Dara just kept on crying silently as she tried to understand everything he said.

Thunder came and removed Kyuhyun's arm around his noona.

            ''Hyung let her go. She's been hurting enough. Try touching her again and I'll forget that you are my sunbae. Go home and rest. Take time to think about things then come back with a clear mind." Thunder said as he handed Dara the umbrella and wrapped her into a towel. He then brought her in to a shaded area before he hailed a cab for the lifeless Kyuhyun and watched as the traces of the cab disappear.

            "That should make him come to me. She practically threw him away already." Dasom who's recuperating on her pent house stated as she gazed outside her window and watched the pouring rain. She ended her call with her paid watchdog who had been following Kyuhyun and Sandara all this time.

She froze as soon as she saw the reflection of a man standing behind her pulling her into a tight back hug. It was Changmin, the man who swore his love for her but also left her bruises and marks for it.

            "How did you ... ?'' she asked but mewled instead when Changmin skillfully along her jaw line.

            "You didn't change your password so I was able to come in." He huskily whispered along her ears as he slipped a hand on her private area fondling it as he enjoyed its immediate wetness.

            "I'll call security if you don't go away this instant!" Dasom yelled as she managed to release herself from his arms.

            "Fine and I'll just release all of this." Changmin said and threw an envelope into Dasom's direction who caught it and started to open it. She saw its contents and immediately threw it on the fire under her chimney. Changmin just smirked and drank the remaining contents of her wine glass as she fell into the ground with her weak legs. He crawled on top of her and whispered into her ears.

            "I thought I'd give you a copy of our love making video. I have tons of copies of it ready to be published. I don't care about my idol life already. I am Shim Changmin, a man of no one. Kyuhyun can file a case against you with these photos and looks like you even touched Soo Man too to get favors huh? If you come to me, I'll make sure you'll never get hurt again." Changmin stated and pecked her forehead before he slipped a usb on her hand then left.

Dasom gritted her teeth and finally cried after he left. She crawled towards her T.V and plugged the USB into the TV. She saw different folders and played one of them only to find a video of her making love with SM's CEO. She played another video and she saw herself that night at the ball, where spiked Kyuhyun's drink. Dasom who couldn't understand how her plans went crumbling just cried and threw the bottle of her empty wine into her TV while crying the whole night. 

Hello :3 

this is the lazy author-nim :3 

sorry for the year late update of this story. 

to be honest i only updated because whenever i open my not so active aff acount i'll often see comments or subscription on this story. 

i'll try to end this story soon xD like i always say so there goes another year xDDD lololol

but yeah, i'll try to finish this as soon as possible.

thank you for waiting and reading :3

and my grammar i don't really care anymore cause i want to finish the story ASAP.

sorry T.T

i love you all <3