Kyuhyun POV

“Should I start from the first meeting? I walk into our agency cafeteria alone that day. I was ordering a cup of coffee for Leeteuk Hyung that day as I saw her comes to the cafeteria. I stunned at the first sight. I can’t move my eyes from her. She just wore a simple thing like t-shirt, jeans, and sport shoes, but she’s still so beautiful for me. She also took a very thick book in her right hand, while her left hand brought a very big bag. She wore glasses too. The next thing that I knew that I already standing in front of her and helped her bring her bag since she was almost fell because it’s too heavy for her. Then she said a very simple word, “Kamsahamida.” She bowed to me and left me standing there alone. I was frozen at that time. Her first word to me was maybe just a simple formal language of thank you, but her voice, yes her voice that made me frozen. I just can’t say a word to her. I looked like a real idiot that time.

It was our first and only face to face meeting in couple months. Maybe we shot some photo shot for SPAO together, but none of us talked our even say hi. She just bowed 90 degree when she met me and I also did the same thing. It happened for almost a year. Until we met for Seoul music video shot, there was just a simple movement between. Simple maybe, but it made me happy so much.

She actually did the same thing that she did before. She bowed to me. Then I bowed back too. But this time she smiled to me. She even asked me if I was cold since I just wore a thin jacket, but then I told her that she’s the one who should anticipated it since her dress was thinner than mine. I was so afraid that she would get cough or cold. But then she said she’d be okay.

It was just a short conversation, but it really made me happy to find out that she cared for me. After that day, every time we met she will always bowed and smile to me. She even said, “Annyonghaseyo, Oppa. How’s your day?”

Just heard she said those words, made me feel like the happiest guy in the world. I sounded like an idiot maybe, but I don’t care whatever you guys will say since I am maybe look like one.

We even exchange our number that day. But we never even call each other back then. We just send each other congratulation message if one of us won an award or on music show. Besides that, we never really communicate. I don’t know how she felt about this, but I really want to texted her something like ‘Good night!’ ‘How are you?’ ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Take care of yourself.’ but I can’t do it. My pride didn’t let me do it.

Everything was okay back then. But something changed, or maybe someone, changed it. That’s right. That moment was when she shot ‘we got married’ with that stupid guy. I just hate him so much. I couldn’t believe that she agreed to appear at that show. Aish, I knew that it was only a variety show, but why did my heart so hurt when I heard it. I kept reminding myself that I was nothing than a co worker to her. But why did my feeling not feel the same way? They kept forcing me to ask for her explanation but I couldn’t do it. Again, my pride stopped me to do it.

It took couple of months before we finally have our real talk. That moment came like a miracle to me when you gave me that chance, Yuri. Remember that night that you were being locked in the practice room with Donghae, you asked one of us to call Seohyun. I was so happy back then. You know, since I really wanted to have a reason to call her but actually I never have once, so I just too excited to call her. But then, I tried to look cold and pretended that I didn’t want to call her. But again, I thanked Victoria Noona for gave me a chance to call her. She forced to do it and I was so happy. Then I got that chance. Yes, after that I called her every night and texted her every day to talk about everything. We shared about our problems, our thought, our interests, and of course our secret.

We were so close back then, but no one realize it since they all just thought that we are best friends but then something changed right the way. That thing happened three months ago. I just went out with her and Yoona in the SM Cafetaria. Yoona had to leave us first because she had another schedule, so it’s left only us. We talked and shared things like usual but I think the chairman must not think the same way. He called me to his room that night.

He asked me if something has happened between us, and of course I said we just friends. But he didn’t believe it and he asked me to stay away from her. He said that I must to realize about the company’s rule and my personal contract. That’s why I never wanted to meet her in a person. I just texted her or called her sometime. I thought she may be realized that I stayed away from her. But I didn’t want to be seen clearly.

I know that she began to love me too. If you said that I thought too much, maybe it’s yes. But I could see right in her eyes, she really fell in love with me. She even did the things that a girlfriend usually does, like mad at me if I came late, angry if I didn’t answer her phone call, always asked me where I awas, and she never wanted to let me miss her show. Gosh! This feeling between us is too strong, that’s why I thought I needed to do something to make her stayed away from me. That’s why I said to her that I like Sooyoung si. I didn’t mean to use her or something, but I just knew that I have to mention one of SNSD girls that she was afraid of, then the girls that came across my mind was Sooyoung si. I thought if I used the scariest member, she will afraid. But the fact so different, she stayed in her position. She e