OC - Louise

Refresh.


Louise sighed as she stared at her laptop screen, refreshing her inbox page for the nth time as she waited for the message she's been dying to read since last week.

It's been a while since she last talked to her boyfriend, Kyungsoo. Probably two weeks since they had had a decent conversation, two weeks since they Skyped with each other and exactly two and a half weeks since he last sent an email which usually involved a long letter narrative of what's he's been up to in Korea—promoting and doing his idol work with the rest of the EXO members. 
 

Louise was dating the D.O Kyungsoo of EXO and they had been together for almost a year now. To some it may be a dream come true; it felt that way in the beginning, but as the months passed, it started feeling more like a nightmare considering that dating him literally felt like dating a ghost. 

Is it even real when you don't even see him? Don't get to hold him or even talk to him face to face?
 

These thoughts echoed in her thoughts as she refreshed the page one last time. When there was till no message, she finally gave up and shut her laptop down.


~~~

8: 30 A.M

A few days passed and it was September 8th, a day before her 20th birthday. She wasn’t doing anything grand, just as simple lunch with her friends and family.

Going to school, she received a text from Kyungsoo and when she saw the two words on the screen, she wanted to hurl her phone across the parking lot.

Good morning :)

It’s always been like this in the past few weeks, just him texting good morning or good night messages. It has become a routine and Louise couldn’t help but feel like their relationship was nothing more than a template; always the same, unchanging, just like his texts. But today, she felt even more annoyed, considering that tomorrow was her birthday and he hasn’t shown any signs of interest at all. It’s like he has forgotten about it.  

With a sigh, she replied:

Morning.

And that was it. He never answered back. Sometimes he did but their conversations never lasted for more than five minutes.

Throwing her phone on the passenger seat, she sighed, shaking her head as she thought, What am I going to do with you?

~~~

6: 34 P.M

Later that day, she went home, finding the house empty. She saw a package by the door and as she looked at it, she saw that it was addressed to her parents. Shrugging, she went straight into the kitchen to get herself a drink. A note was taped on the refrigerator saying that her parents were out and wouldn’t be back till late.

There’s lasagna in the oven, she read in what she recognized as her mom’s handwriting. She pursed her lips, grabbing some juice in the fridge before going towards the oven to get herself some lasagna.

~~~

11: 02 P.M.
 

When she finished her essay for her English class, Louise couldn’t be any happier. She has been writing and doing her homework for the past four hours, multi-tasking from writing, to researching, to solving equations on her Math homework. Miraculously, she was able to finish them all and she was so ecstatic to finally get some rest. All those schoolwork can really drain you, even drive you insane! And all she wanted was to crawl into her bed and hide under the covers till morning wakes her up.

But just when she was about to turn off he laptop, she received a Skype call. And it was from the first—and last—person she wanted to speak with. With a sigh, she answered and Kyungsoo’s face immediately came into view. “Jagiya!” he smiled and she returned it with a weak one. “Hey.”

Kyungsoo frowned at her response, observing her tired form. “Is this a bad time?”

Yes, she thought. “No. It’s fine. How are you?”

Kyungsoo babbled on about his day and what he’s been up to these past few weeks. She found out that EXO was busily preparing for a comeback and that he has been practicing nonstop which is why he hasn’t been able to keep in touch with her that much.

As he spoke, Louise was only half listening for she was thinking about their current relationship. She tried to ignore the fact that he didn’t even ask her how she’s been or mention about her birthday tomorrow—in an hour. He was talking to her as if they weren’t even together… it felt like a friendship thing and it felt wrong.

“Hey Kyung?” she blurted, interrupting him in midsentence. He looked at her, his eyes wide and curious. “Yeah?”

“We need to talk.” She said, her tone serious and Kyungsoo immediately sensed it. He sat up straighter, lacing his hands together as he leaned in closer to the camera. “Okay, shoot.”

“I—“she cleared . “I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the past few weeks and I realized something…”

“What?”

“It’s something about us, Kyungsoo.” She said. “I think we’re drifting apart.”

He chuckled slightly as if she just cracked a joke. “No we’re not.” He stopped when he saw that she wasn’t laughing along and that she was actually being serious. “Louise, come on. You don’t actually think that—“

“I think this isn’t working out anymore.” She frowned. “It doesn’t feel right.”

A pregnant silence hung over them like a storm cloud, the two of them unable to neither speak nor respond. It felt like years before one finally spoke. "What do I need to do?" Kyungsoo asked and Louise looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"What do I need to do so you won't break up with me?" He asked and his face was so sincere and determined that Louise was speechless and unable to answer. "I—“

"Please." He frowned. "Don't do this. Can we talk about—?”

"That's the thing, Kyung." She sighed in frustration as she covered her face with her hands. "We can't talk about this. How can we when I'm here and you're there? We're a thousand miles apart and it's difficult, Kyungsoo." She huffed. "I mean, is this even a relationship anymore? We don't even see each other and recently we haven't been talking either—like talk talk not just good morning or good night texts. It's frustrating that dating you feels unreal sometimes. It's like dating a ghost!" 

Kyungsoo gulped as her confession sank, surprised by her outburst. He felt angry at himself for not even seeing it, for not even caring to know her side of this relationship. Because to him, he was just happy she was his and it was stupid to think that she felt the same way. "Louise, I'm sorry." He finally said. "I'm sorry—“

"It's not your fault." She muttered. "It's just the way things are and it ." She sighed as she fidgeted with her fingers. "I really like you, Kyungsoo and you're a great guy but I don't think this is working out. I think we—“ Louise felt a lump in and she had to swallow to get the words out. "I think it's best if we ended this."

She heard a slight gasp through her earphones and she willed herself not to look up on the screen, afraid of what she might see. A pregnant silence hung over between them, the only sound being heard was their hushed breathing. 

"Lying beside you, here in the dark..."

Louise's heart stopped at the sound of his voice and a familiar melody echoing through her eardrums. 

"Feeling your heart beat with mine…”

"Kyung—“

"Softly you whisper," he sang, ignoring her half-hearted protest. "You're so sincere. How could our love be so blind?"

Louise felt a tear slip from her eye as she remembered the first time he had ever sang that to her. It was on the day he confessed…The day he asked her to be his. She bit her lip to subside the sobs that threatened to come out of her. 

"Louise—“

She shook her head, unable to take it anymore. She knew that if she kept talking with him, she wouldn't be able to do it. "I'm sorry, Kyungsoo. But I can't. I just—“ 

"Wait, look at me—“ She didn't even give him a chance to continue before she hung up on their video chat, closing her laptop shut as the tears poured out of her like rain. 

~~~

2: 30 A.M.

Louise didn't sleep that night. She just lay in bed, her back flat on the mattress as she stared at the ceiling blankly. She couldn't understand why she felt so bad when she was the one who ended it in the first place.

Kyungsoo tried to call her back several times the moment she hung up earlier that night, but she never answered. After an hour of continuous ringing and beeping, it finally stopped and Louise never felt so hurt at how easily he had given up. 

Turning to her side, she caught sight of the picture frame standing atop her bedside table. She reached out for it and sighed as she stared at the photograph beneath the glass. 

It was a picture of her and Kyungsoo during one of their concerts here. They were already dating for a month then, and Kyungsoo had his arm slung over her shoulders, hugging her close as the two of them smiled their brightest smiles for the camera. 

She ran her thumb against the glass, reminiscing on the happy memory.

 

Flashback

"Places everyone! Where is Oh Sehun? Someone get me that kid! He has to be in position on stage right not stage left!"

Louise never thought that backstage could be this chaotic. Everyone was running around, screaming and yelling for everyone to get into position as there were only a few minutes left till the concert begins.

She was standing by the tech machines, watching the engineers at work, fascinated by it all when she felt an arm wrap around her waist. "Hey."

She turns around and found Kyungsoo looking down at her with a smile, already in his uniform, with his hair up and his face dabbed with make up. "Hey." 

"You sure you don't want to watch out there? I mean—“

Louise smiled as he fixed the little bow tie on his neck before poking his nose. "I've watched Growl so many times I think I sing it in my sleep."

Kyungsoo laughed before giving her a teasing gaze, "Are you saying you're tired of watching me?"

"You know what?" She said, her voice teasing. "On second thought, I think I wanna watch Kai—“

"Yah!" He poked her rib causing her to laugh. She held up her fingers in a peace sign. "Kidding. But no seriously, I wanna stay and watch from here."

"You sure?"

"Kyungsoo-ah! Get into place!" Joonmyun yel