“Almost reminds you of the things that could have happened but didn’t. It makes you remember the times you got so close to something good, only to realize you’re a breath short to hold it tight and never let go.” – words from danglingmouse.com

Author’s Note: Sorry for the long wait on this! Before you start reading there is something you must know. This one-shot is a side-story to one of my chaptered fics, After All. I would encourage that you read it to have a deeper understanding but don’t worry, it is readable even if you have not read series. :)

(HOSEOK’S POV)

They say when you love something, set it free.

I learned that when I was seven, out in the countryside with my grandfather. He was a wise man, but playful enough to match the energy of my seven-year-old self. I could remember that day like it was yesterday: we were out in the fields, my hand wrapped around a glass jar where a friend lay imprisoned.

“This is a good spot.” My grandfather said as we stopped right in the middle of the green pasture, his large palm holding onto my right shoulder firmly.

I looked down at the jar and frowned. It had been my first catch: a butterfly in the back garden with blue wings—the color flickering to silver and purple against the light. I didn’t know what kind of butterfly it was, but I knew it was rare—most of the truly beautiful things were.

“Now Hobi,” He said, using my nickname to try and ease me into doing our mission. “You know it’s wrong to keep it in there right?”

I didn’t answer and sighed instead.

“Imagine if you were inside the jar? Would you be happy locked away like that?”

Of course not, I thought and as I looked up at grandpa, I saw him giving me a gentle smile.

“No one deserves to be unhappy, my boy. Of course we all experience it but it should never be inflicted upon on purpose… we must try our best to make the people around us—even ourselves—happy.”

“Happy.” I echoed as I looked down at the jar once more, my little fingers already uncapping the lid.

“If you love it, set it free. And you’ll see… it might just return.” His grandfather said as they watched the butterfly leave the glass container, flying away into the open air.

“Be happy!” I said to it.

Be happy.

Those were the words that echoed in my brain as I watched her walking down the aisle. Sera wore the most beautiful gown I had ever seen, the skirt sparkling against the floors like she had walk the night skies at night. Flashes of cameras and soft whispers of admiration filled the room; and everyone’s faces were a mask of joy and pride…

Everyone except one.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Jung Hoseok and Park Sera.”

Getting married was a lifetime commitment. It’s basically asking someone to be with you forever and I knew well why I had asked Sera to fill that spot by side in my life’s little infinity.

I love her, I thought as I stole a glance to my right to look at my bride. She gave me a small smile and I reached out my hand to hers and gave it a light assuring squeeze.

She looked away right after and glanced at the crowd, eyes almost searching before looking back at the pastor. It was only for a brief moment but I didn’t miss it.

I already knew. That’s how much I loved her.

“If there’s anyone who would object to this wedding,” the pastor announced. “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

I want her to be happy, I thought and somehow everything was clear as glass. There’s no use fighting it any longer. I knew well what had to be done when I said…

“I object.”

Sera and I met in our senior year in college. It was quite typical and totally plain, the way we met. It was during class and I asked if she had a pen to spare that I could borrow.

See? Typical.

To her perhaps and maybe to the whole world too… but for me? It was one of those moments that I wouldn’t be able to forget. Simply because before I asked for the pen, I had my eyes on her since junior year and it was an answered prayer that we had the same class on my last year and well basically—it took me a whole school year to build up the courage to speak with her.

To ask her for a spare pen.

Sera was quiet but she wasn’t unapproachable. I could’ve easily asked her to hang out  when I first saw her at the campus garden, hunched over a book and looking so into what she was reading I almost grabbed a copy myself when I went home that day. I could’ve easily talked to her, yes. But it was my heart that kept racing at the mere sight of her; leaving me brain dead and lips unable to utter a single world.

But her quietness and the mystery that surrounded her was what made her more interesting and what pushed me to pursue her even more despite our personalities being polar opposites. I was a music student, majoring in composition and I lived for social gatherings; be it parties, concerts, and the like. Sera liked quite places and art exhibits. I liked chocolate ice cream with a bunch of toppings like nuts and sprinkles, while she liked hers plain Vanilla.

It was those little things that should’ve made it almost impossible to be in a romantic relationship. But it didn’t. Instead, as we got to know each other better, those differences were set aside and we found common ground. As nights were spent watching movies at my apartment or getting take out after midnight when exam weeks came along, that’s when we realized we had more in common than we thought. And that we…we had something really special.

I asked her to be my girlfriend a few months later and she said yes. We were happy. The happiest a couple could be and she made it so easy to fall in love with her. How could I not? She was wonderful.

But in every love story, they said there was always a catch. I ignored it for a long time and I guess that was one of my regrets: ignoring it and not asking.

Sera was happy and I knew our love was reciprocated on her part, but she always did seem detached sometimes. There were times when she paused at something I had said and she would be quiet all throughout dinner. I’d apologize but she’d brush it off, asking why I was saying sorry when I did nothing wrong. There were times I found her staring with a faraway look in her eyes like she was remembering something—something sad as I noticed the small frown tugging her lips down. When I call back her attention she would be smiling again, almost like it was a mask she had to put on.

That bit of sadness she had, I made a mission to make disappear. I wanted to make her happy…really happy. But it wasn’t that easy considering that sadness had rooted from something from a long time ago…

I knew it was wrong of me not to ask about her past. But it wasn’t wholly my fault either considering how she kept it under wraps; dodging question after question and manoeuvring sharply to another topic whenever the subject even came up. She didn’t like talking about it and so I respected that. I understood because I loved her.

Besides, it was now that mattered right? There was no use in digging up the past when now was what mattered…now with the two of us together and happy.

Little did I know that was my big mistake.

I asked Sera to marry me a couple of years later and she said yes. That was when it started going downhill. I knew she had been against the idea of getting married in Korea in the first place but she still agreed; simply because being a couple required compromise and I was grateful to her for saying yes considering how much it meant for