Author's Note:
This is the final chapter to Lost Stars and i jsut wanted to say thank you to everybody who read and went through this journey with me. it's been a beautiful and emotional ride for all of us with this fanfiction and I hope you all find the ending to be satisfying. To be honest, this wasn't the first ending I had in mind and was a last minute thing but well, change is the only thing constant in this world, right? keke~ Have fun reading and thank you once again.
  To sassy-rabbit​, I hope you liked your request. :) 

 

2 weeks later - October

California, USA

You sighed in amusement as you watched your band mates fooling around in the studio. Your guitarist, Jackson was currently being bullied by Kenny, your drummer, teasing him about chickening out in asking out the girl he liked.

"Come on man!" Jackson whined. "I totally panicked, alright?!"

Kenny ruffled his hair then gave you a face, which made you chuckle. "That's what you said last month!"

You shook your head as you went back to your notebook, writing the current song you were working on. Since returning back from Korea, you had been writing nonstop; in the car, in your room, over dinner, and even in the middle of the night. You were so inspired that you had written about five songs within the week.

"Yo, Y/N." Kenny called, interrupting your silence. "We're taking a break for dinner. Coming?"

You waved a hand at him, "You guys go ahead. I'll catch up."

"Okay." He said and everyone moved out of the room, leaving you in quietness. Once everyone was out, you sighed and ran a hand over your face. You looked at the piano at the corner of the room and a sudden though hit you. 

It's been two weeks. 

Two weeks since you cleared everything with Jungkook.

Two weeks since you ended your relationship with him, had some proper closure which you knew was the one thing that has kept you up at night for the past five years. 

Looking away, you grabbed your clear book from underneath the desk, in search for a scratch paper you can use. As you flipped it open, you found yourself staring at a page with a familiar handwriting.

The handwriting was evidently not yours. 

 

Tracing your fingers along the phrase written in charcoal, you sighed as you read:

Tryin' to light up the dark.

You realized that you haven't finished this song and that all these weeks it’s been kept hidden from view. It was the same song you had been writing back in Korea; the same song Jungkook had helped you with. 

Sitting at the audio console booth, you looked at your phone, debating whether to call him. Your hands reach out and you unlocked it, opening your phone book and scrolling through your contacts until his name appeared. Your thumb hovered over the call button but just like always, your head gets the best of you and you immediately close your phone and place it on the table far away from reach. Instead, you reached for your guitar and turned your notebook back to the page where you were currently writing a song. Taking a deep breath, you positioned your pic against the strings and strummed the first chord, your voice following afterwards.

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city and I bet
Sometimes you wonder about me

Seeing your phone on the table you felt the words flow from your mouth as easily as you were speaking a rhyme you have known so well. 


And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me, not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do.


A sudden thought came to you and you reached out for your phone again, opening the voice memo app. Pressing the red button, you recorded the next stanza, which you had written the first night Jungkook texted you. The night your writer’s block came to an end. 

I bet, you think I either moved on or hate you
Cause each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet, it never ever occurred to you
That I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye

Closing your eyes, you felt the tears come but you still played...

Still loved...

Oh we made a quite a mess babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess babe
In my dreams your touching my face
And asking me if I wanna try again with you

You suddenly stopped playing, unable to control the emotions that was washing over you like a storm surge. Your shaking hands covered your eyes that where now pooling with tears as sobs hiccupped out of you. 

"And I almost do." You whispered as you felt your walls break down. 

You hated it; hated the fact that after five years, your fairytale ending turned out to be so bittersweet. Hated the fact that Jungkook loved you and you loved him yet... you couldn't be together. 

You hated reality as it promised a tomorrow without your best friend, without the love of your life...

Without Jungkook.

~~~

It was almost 2 a.m. when you came back home to your apartment. You spent the night recording the new track you just produced, which would be part of your new album. 

You were extremely happy about the progress of your album for it was really coming together but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a bit sad considering the events that happened in the past few weeks. 

You have to move on, you told yourself as you made your way into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

~~~

Before going to bed, you opened your laptop to check for emails. There were a few from your label, giving feedback on the demo tracks you sent but you skipped the messages, thinking that you'll get to them in the morning. 

Somehow, you found yourself on twitter, checking your fan's tweets; your spirits lifting instantly at the kind words they sent you. 

When's the record coming out?! I'm simply dying @Jane_Lou

@Jane_Lou Your perf in Korea was amazing!! 

@Jane_Lou I love you! ❤❤❤

You sighed happily, thinking how your fans were the best people in the world and you were thankful and truly blessed to have them; simply because if it weren't for them, you wouldn't be where you were now.

A certain tweet caught your eye and your eyebrows scrunched, intrigued by it. 

@bts_twt OMO! Jungkook oppa is in love?!

In love?, your eyes widened and you immediately tracked back through the tweets, and before you knew it you were redirected to a YouTube link. Your heart almost stopped when a familiar face came into view on your laptop screen.

It was a video log... 

Jungkook's log. 

You found yourself increasing the volume as you listened to what he had to say. 

"October 22, 2014 Jungkook's log. It's been a while since I went on here. Mianhe," he chuckled and you felt your heart flutter at the sight. "We've been busy with promotions and we have a new project coming up but I'm not allowed to say anything about it yet."

You watched him as he continued to speak about their schedules, how overwhelmed he was at the amount of people who came to see them at the fansigns and music shows, and how grateful he was to all the ARMY's who continue to support and take care of them. 

You smiled slightly at his words, thinking how mature he has gotten; although you can still see his shyness; how he found it difficult to speak out his emotions. 

"And," he rubbed his nape. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry to a friend of mine. We haven't seen each other in a long time and I was really happy that we got to meet again. I guess," he looked down at his lap and even if the framing didn't make you see, you knew he was fidgeting with his fingers like he always does when he's nervous. "I want that person to know that I'm sorry and I hope things were different."

You covered your mouth as you heard his words, fighting the tears that threatened to escape your eyes.

 

I hope that too, you thought.

"Ah—“ Jungkook drawled, trying to lessen the awkwardness. "And I hope you're not mad I finished the song."

What song?, you thought curiously.

"And yeah," there was a pause as he looked straight at the camera and you swore your heart skipped a beat. "Don't cry, okay?" he said, his lips turning up slightly thought it didn't reach his eyes. A beautiful—sad smile...  

"Be happy."

His last words were barely a whisper but it reverberated through your hollowed heart, penetrating deeply until you had to catch your breath from the impact. 

As he said goodbye, you looked at the recommended videos situated at the right side and saw a video of a song cover by Jungkook with a title that caught your eye:

Lost Stars

Your mouse hovered over the video in hesitation, but eventually you mustered the courage to click on the thumbnail and the video appeared with Jungkook holding his guitar, filming from what looked like his laptop. 

He was sitting at a stool, wearing a black hoodie and dark jeans. His hair was slightly disheveled and his face was quite daunt and pale but nonetheless he looked gorgeous.

"So this is a song I wrote with a friend. I hope you guys like it." he started strumming and you slightly gasped as he began to sing a familiar tune.

Please don't see, just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me, reaching our for someone I can't see

Jungkook continued to sing, your lips following his words in sync with the melody and you felt like you were sharing a secret. You closed your eyes, letting his words consume you, remembering the events that happened in the past few weeks: Seeing him again, talking to him again, 

loving him again...

As the second stanza hit, an instrumental played along and you gasped as you listened to the words he added into the song.

Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy
Woe is me reaching out for someone I can't see.

Flashback

“I remember we used to play songs together a lot.” He said. “And you always get so frustrated when lyrics escape you. I always have to help you out.” He snickered and you felt your chest tighten.

“Oh yeah. There something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” He suddenly opened up and you looked at him. “There was a line you said to me before—“

“I said a lot of things to you before.” You muttered amusedly as you placed your guitar down, avoiding eye contact.

“People are just specks in the galaxy.” He told and your breath hitched, remembering. “But without us, there is no galaxy because we’re what it’s made of.” A pregnant silence hung over the two of you for a moment before Jungkook continued, “It seemed really funny before, how you used words like that to encourage me to make a difference with my music.” He glanced at you. “Do you remember that?”

End of Flashback


Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday, I saw a lion kiss a deer

 

Flashback

Without thinking twice, you stood on your toes and kissed him on the cheek. Before you can retreat, Taehyung wrapped his arms around you and gave you a hug. 

“Thank you.” He murmured against your hair and you sighed as you melted into his embrace, hugging him back.

~~~

“Ouch.” He sighed as you handed him the chopsticks and you looked back into the bag just as he said, “That was my ‘I think I’m in love with my girlfriend’ look.”

You stopped the moment the words were out of his mouth and you looked back at him in shock, seeing his face unchanged; staring at you with droopy eyes and a soft smile. “W—what?” 

“You heard me.” He whispered.

In the six months that you’ve been dating, this was the first time Jungkook had said that he loved you. Sure you felt it. You felt it in the way he cared for you and how he always wanted to be with you. But some things are still better said than done. 

“Y/N?” He said as he poked your cheek, worried that he had said it the wrong time and that he must have scared the hell out of you. “I’m sorry… Did I go too fast—” you interrupted him by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in a hug, not even caring if he was sweaty. You felt him immediately succumb to your embrace and his arms circled your waist, his nose burying on your neck. 

"I—I love you too." You murmured as you played with the hair just above his nape. 

End of Flashback 


Jungkook looked straight at the camera; straight into your eyes as he sang the next few bars of the song: 


Turn the page maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears


Your cheeks stained with tears as you smiled, understanding what he was trying to say through the lyrics he had written.

"Be happy." he had said and the tears flowed from your eyes like rain, thinking how Jungkook had a point. You knew of the reality the two of you were in, understood the consequences that could occur if you tried again when the circumstances are no better--has not changed.


And I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
And I thought I heard you out there crying
just the same...

Flashback

"I would've tried again if things were different." Jungkook said. "I would've tried again and made it right."

End of flashback

I would've said yes again too, you thought as you wiped the tears from your cheeks, knowing that your love for him still burned with a passion within your heart and that he will always be the one person whom you knew can make your heart beat, stop, and beat again with a single note coming out of his lips.

And God tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning

"Be happy." you whispered, feeling a lightness in your chest at the realization that love, even though unacknowledged remains true. Love stays the same even across boarders and even when circumstances fight against it. 

But are we all lost stars?
Trying to light up the dark?


We definitely are, you thought.
 

 

~~~

 

 

3 Months later – February

Tokyo, Japan

 

“Thank you everybody! Good night!” you shouted as you waved at the crowd, finishing with a big bow as you left the stage with a huge grin on your face. The staff greeted you out back, clapping and congratulating your performance and you bowed in humble appreciation.

 

“Arigatou gozaimasu.” you bowed, thanking everyone. 
 

“Jane!” Jordan called from the back and you excused yourself from everyone to meet your manager.

 

“What’s up?” you asked, seeing Jordan’s smiling face. “Congrats.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“There’s an after party—“

 

“Can I skip?” you immediately asked and Jordan gave you a look. “This party is for you.”

 

“I know.” You sighed. “I’m just not feeling up for it tonight.”

 

“Can you at least show up? After an hour you can leave.” Jordan suggested and you contemplated. It would be weird if you wouldn’t be at the party which was thrown for you. Not to mention rude…

 

“Okay.” You finally said and Jordan gave your shoulder a light squeeze before letting you go to get ready and freshen up before the party.

 

~~~

 

After an hour of photos-ops, fake smiles, and small talk with all the people at the party, you thought you finally had enough and decided to call it a night. It was half past 11 p.m. and the party was just getting started but you felt a wave of exhaustion hovering over you like a cloud, pushing you to leave and meet with the comforts of your bed.

 

You looked around for Jordan but you couldn’t seem to find him amongst the crowd. You found Cara by the bar and went up to her to bid goodbye.

 

“What do you mean you’re leaving?!” she asked incredulously. “We haven’t even—“

 

“I’m just not feeling well.” You lied and Cara frowned. “Well okay. Do you need someone to—“

 

“I already contacted the driver.” You smiled, appreciating her concern. “Can you tell Jordan I already went ahead?”

 

“You mean cover for you.” She smiled slyly and you winked at her before giving her a half hug and waving goodbye. Just as you were out the door, Cara remembered one small detail that has slipped her mind and she stood up to go after you but cursed when she saw you get into the car, speeding fast into the night.

 

~~~

 

Bright lights lit the city like stars and you wondered why you weren’t joining in the festivities. It was more than just the closing for your month-long concert tour for it was also February 14, also known as Valentine’s Day.

 

You were never a big fan of the holiday nor did you have anything against it. To you, V-day has always been just another day with the added chocolates and free stuff as a bonus.

 

Tokyo was definitely a beautiful place and you thought Japan was the perfect country to end the tour. In two days, you’d be returning to the states to prepare for the launching of your new album, “Lost Stars”.

 

As the thought hit you, you felt a slight hollowness. A face popped into your head, causing you to frown.

 

You would be lying to yourself if you said that you haven’t thought about Jungkook since you left Korea three months ago. You were moving on, sure. But apparently, it doesn’t happen over night nor in a span of three months.

 

Moving on proved to be a much more difficult and complicated task than you expected. You learned that trying not to think about him only made things worse and instead you thought about him as much as you can, saying to yourself that you chose the right path—telling yourself the two of you chose to protect your heart from another heartbreak which you knew what another relationship with each other would only cause.

 

Ring!

 

Enthralled by the view passing through the car’s window, you answered your phone without looking and said, “Hello?”

 

A static sounded on the other line and your ears perked up, causing you to sit straight. Removing the phone from your ear, you looked down at the screen only to find an unknown caller.

 

“Hello?” you asked again through the static. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when a melody sounded and a voice sang:

 

At that place, again with you

At that place, if we can meet

At that place, I’ll be waiting

I want you to come girl.

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