"Love is really nothing, but a dream that keeps waking me. For all of my trying, we still end up dying.... How can it be?" - John Mayer (Edge of Desire)

NOTE: So this is previously entitled MORE. I had to change the title cause I had a change in plot... keke~ Hope you guys like it! <3 

Deep thunder rumbled and lightning flashed across the living room window, forming ghoulish shadows against the pale contours of his face. Rain suddenly came down out of nowhere, the situation almost seemed mocking.

Thunder rumbled once again and Yoongi was all of a sudden back into that day. That day he asked her to stay; the day everything changed. 

He couldn’t decide whether he did the right thing or not.


Should he be happy that she stayed? … 

Or regretful that she actually did? 


“Hello??” she asked again and Yoongi gripped the phone tighter to his ear, as if hearing her voice was something he needed and hungered for. He closed his eyes, his breathing becoming a little more uneven, as he thought:

Definitely the latter. 

~~~


Oh sh*t

Yoongi watched her from across the room, feeling his body go numb. He couldn’t believe that she was actually here…

“Yah! Yoongi hyung?” Yoongi snapped from his shock and looked over to the sound of the call, finding Taehyung looking at him with a curious expression. “What?”

“You okay?” He asked as he clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a concerned gaze.

“Fine. Why do you ask?”

“You looked like you’ve just seen a ghost.” He chuckled. 

“I—“

“Hyung!” Jungkook called from across the room. “I want you to meet someone.”

Yoongi’s heart raced as he saw Jungkook pull the arm of the person he had never thought he would see again. The person he had known six years ago… who had made a mark on him that couldn’t seem to be removed no matter how hard he tried. 

Raehee let Jungkook pull her away from Namjoon, whom she threw an apologetic glance at. “Jungkook-ah.” She said to the boy, giving him a disapproving gaze. “I was talking to—“

Raehee stopped when she realized where he had taken her. She couldn’t understand the sudden fast beating of her heart as she stared at the pale boy gaping at her. 

Their eyes met and time seemed to stop. 

“Noona, this is my hyung, Min Yoongi.” Jungkook announced cheerfully.

“Yoongi.” She said, his name sounding like a melody against her lips. Before he could respond, he was caught of guard when she smiled and held out her hand to shake. The words she said felt like daggers plunging into his heart.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jung Raehee.”

~~~

Fall 2010

People always say: it’s easier said than done.

She stayed. She stayed because she loved him and he loved her, and to Raehee, that was enough. Yoongi promised her the world, promise her that they would live happily ever after.  And Raehee believed it; believed wholeheartedly in the plans they had made for the future.

But little did they know that life had a way of ruining things.

Yoongi was well on his way to becoming an idol. He was becoming busier by the second and Raehee started feeling neglected. He hardly came home to the apartment they shared and when he did, she was already fast asleep, too tired to even notice him coming in. By morning, she would wake up only to find herself still alone in the apartment.

Yoongi had become engrossed in his training, unconsciously failing to look after Raehee, just as he had promised. He didn’t realize that he was slowly becoming distant and this caused Raehee to rethink her decisions…

Should I have stayed?

Before, she answered it with much fervor: Yes, of course!

But now, sitting alone in the dining room, the other side of the table empty, a set of utensils remaining untouched; she sighed heavily at the realization:

I don’t really know anymore.

~~~

Present

Yoongi was quiet throughout dinner.
They went out to a nice restaurant in town, treating Jungkook’s friends to a night in Seoul since it’s been so long since they’ve been here. Yoongi watched Raehee; watched they way she laughed at Jungkook’s stories, the way her eyes lit up whenever she found something interesting in a conversation, and even the way her dimple on her upper lip showed when she smiled.

Her smile…

“Hyung, are you sure you’re alright?” Taehyung asked for the nth time that night and Yoongi was this close to pushing the kid off his seat; but he couldn’t, knowing that he means well. “I’m fine, Taehyung.”

“Are you—“ before he could ask again, Yoongi s a piece of beef into his mouth, silencing him. “Shut up and eat, kid.”

Taehyung looked at him in shock before shrugging it off and going back to his meal.

Yoongi sighed as he glanced at his watch. He wanted leave but he had promised Jungkook he would stay at least for a couple of hours. He had told him that he was feeling unwell though that was only a lie he had conjured because the truth was, he just didn’t want to be in the same room as her.

Raehee was currently by the bar, talking with Jin and Hoseok. She had that radiant smile on her face and Yoongi couldn’t help but feel a little light-headed.  After all these years, she still had that effect on him.

The law of attraction suddenly made its magic as Raehee glanced at him, surprising Yoongi. As their eyes met, her smile faltered a bit; as if trying to figure something out but couldn’t. She gave him a small smile but Yoongi didn’t return it; deliberately averting his gaze. 

“What’s with him?” Raehee suddenly asked. Jin looked up from his drink and found her staring at Yoongi from across the restaurant.

“Yoongi? What about him?”

“He seems—“ Raheee tried to look for a word. She couldn’t understand why the word “familiar” kept coming up. “Distant.” She decided.

Hsoeoke chuckled slightly, “He’s a lazy one, Raehee. He’s just like that.”

Raehee nodded, but she didn’t believe a word of it. She didn’t know why but she just didn’t.

Bright lights…

Raehee winced and forced herself to stop thinking too much since it often causes short sparks of pain in her temple.  “Oh?” she said, feeling the pain subsiding.

“Yeah.” Jin said. “But he’s a pretty fun guy once you get to know him.”

At that Raehee nodded and felt herself smile.

That, she actually believed.

~~~

Winter 2010

“I think it’s better if we just stop here.” 

Raehee fiddled with the hem of her shirt and bit her lip as she gripped the phone to her ear. It was late and she should’ve been asleep by now, but this was the usual time she could reach him. In fact, these past few weeks, this was the only time she could reach him.

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked, though he knew exactly what she meant. He sighed as he leaned his back on the wall, the voices of his band mates echoing through the hall. He knew what was coming; knew it like how the was sun coming up in the sky in a few hours. 

She was ending it.

“Rae—“

“Let me speak first.” She said, her voice muffled through the line. “I—“ she sighed. “I don’t think this is working out.”

Yoongi swallowed, knowing exactly what she meant. He was getting busier by the second and she was getting frustrated with her schooling. He knew she wanted more. Even though she chose to stay with him a few months ago, he knew.

He refused to admit that she was right; to believe the obvious truth: he was holding her back. He knew it the moment he caught her browsing in her laptop for college programs abroad; knew it by the looks of her fake smiles and deep sighs. 

“I think it would be better….” She trailed. “For the both of us.”

Yoongi looked up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes, letting her words sink in. He didn’t want to hold her back but he didn’t want to loose her either. “Can’t we talk—“ he choked. “About this?”

“What’s more is there to talk about, Yoongi?” She said and he winced at how harsh she almost sounded. “We hardly see each other anymore—“

“Hyung! Get in here!” a voice yelled which he recognized as Jimin’s. He winced inwardly, “Raehee, I have to go.”

You always do, she thought sadly. “But I—“

“We’ll talk about this later.” He said before hanging up. Raehee listened to the sound of the soft click of the receiver; the line growing quiet before finally putting the phone down with a sigh. As she did, something silver sparked in her vision and she glimpsed the ring wrapped around her finger; the ring Yoongi had given her when she decided to stay…The ring that sealed their forever. 

“What am I going to do with you?” She whispered as she removed it; rolling it around her thumb and forefinger like it was something she couldn’t understand…

At least, not anymore. 

~~~

Yoongi didn’t come home till the next day, late afternoon. He was in a bad mood, considering that he didn’t do well in rehearsals because he couldn’t stop thinking about Raehee and the situation they were in.

He sighed heavily as he opened the door and was immediately met by Raehee, who was standing by the window looking out. The moment the door closed, she turned around. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I’ve been waiting for you.” She said as she took a step forward. “Look, Yoongi about last night—“

Yoongi held up his hand, feeling his headache worsening. “Raehee-ah, can we talk about this later? I’m not really in the mood for this.” He said as he went straight to the bedroom.

Raehee was taken aback by his words. “You’re not in the mood?” she repeated with a glare. “Well I’m in no mood to putting up with you any longer Min Yoongi.”

At that, Yoongi stopped and turned to face her with a slight glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I had enough.” She huffed. “You treat me like I’m no one, like I’m not even here. You leave me alone and do you know how lonely I get?” she pressed. “Do you even care how I—“


“Hey, I’m not the once who decided to stay.” He retorted, his headache blurring his thoughts and the words kept coming out of his mouth like wildfire. “So if you don’t like it, don’t go blaming me.”

As the words left his mouth, Raehee felt like the air was knocked out of her lungs. Her face fell and tears threatened to come as his words echoed through her consciousness. 

Yoongi saw the look on her face and immediately felt guilty for it; realizing what he just said. “Rae, I—“

“You’re right.” She said, wiping a tear that escaped her eye. “I was the one who chose to stay.” She glared at him, “And it was obviously a big mistake.”

She turned around to leave but Yoongi caught up with her, “Raehe