🎵  “But baby I’m no stranger, to heartbreak and the pain of always being let go.” Waste it On Me by Steve Aoki feat. BTS 

“Jen? Are you okay?”

It was a Thursday afternoon when Y/N saw the girl hunched over in one of the aisles, way in the back of the small bookstore she’s currently in. The autumn wind has picked up outside since the sun dipped lower in the sky, preparing to welcome the lonesome moon, and she was just about to lounge in the backroom with a warm cup of tea when she spotted the girl on the floor who was obviously sobbing.

“Jen?” Y/N called again as she slowly walked towards young girl. Jen was one of the regulars in the store and would come in at least three times a week after school to take a book and hang out in one of the store’s reading nooks until the owner would announce closing time. They weren’t exactly close but well-acquainted, considering she was here every day, herself.

Jen looked up with swollen eyes and a runny nose, and Y/N couldn’t help but feel a pang in her chest at the sight. She had seen that face before.

“Oh. Y/N...” she began to stand, wobbling slightly as she tried to get her footing right. She dropped a crumpled up-red paper in the process and Y/N caught a glimpse of small hearts scattered over cursive writing on it. But before she could make out the words,  Jen was quick to manage herself and picked it up quickly.

“Are you—“

“I’m fine.” She said a little too quickly, a clear sign that she was not. Before Y/N could think twice of her actions, she stepped forward and pulled her into her arms for a hug, knowing for sure it’s the one thing she needed right now. The one thing she needed back then when she was the one curled in a ball with tear-stained cheeks; feeling like the world has crashed down on her.

“It hurts so bad.” She cried on her shoulder and Y/N sighed as she patted her back in comfort.

I know, I know, she thought. She knew exactly what a broken heart felt like.

~~~

FLASHBACK

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon in the fall when she first saw him.

Donned in a black, oversized hoodie over his uniform with large headphones in as he skated out of the campus gates, he was a sight straight out from any contemporary Young Adult novel. Y/N had been sitting by the campus steps when he skated by and it felt like time slowed for a brief moment… with skater boy taking center stage as if an imaginary spotlight had settled over his form.

It was then that Y/N knew he was different. He was special.

But that brief moment shattered when all of a sudden, a certain clumsy classmate accidentally tripped on the steps and spilled the drink he was holding onto her lap.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!”

Y/N grimaced as she looked down at her lap, her school skirt and the edge of her blouse stained with pink, strawberry milk. She wasn’t sure how she would explain this to her mom later.

“Here. Take it, please.” Y/N looked up then to find unruly brown hair and large glasses upon pretty (panicked) eyes that would’ve been prettier if the glasses weren’t in the way.

“It’s fine—“ Y/N started to stand but the guy kept pushing his handkerchief towards her.

“No! I’m so clumsy, I’m sorry. Please, I insist. Do you need a ride home? I have a car. You’re Y/N, right?”

At that, Y/N paused, giving him an inquisitive look. “How did you know my name?”

The guy seemed to catch his previous statement and an evident blush colored his cheeks. “Oh u-uh… we—we share a class. English and History with Mrs. Jung.”

Y/N blinked, browsing through the faces of her classmates in her head just as a familiar head of hair sparked in her thoughts, one that sat at the front of the room in every class.

“Oh yeah, I think I know you. Kim—“

“Kim Taehyung.” He finished with a bow.

“Y/FN.”

“I know.”

Y/N smiled when he paused, which was quickly followed by an embarrassed look on his face.

“Anyways,” she took his handkerchief. “Thanks for this. I should get home, though. The milk’s getting sticky.”

“Let me take you home at least.” Taehyung offered once more.

“Oh no, it’s okay—“

“Please. I feel really bad about the whole thing and the least I can do is get you home a lot faster so you can get changed.”

And that was how Taehyung suddenly became a constant in Y/N’s life. With his sweet and lively personality, it wasn’t hard at all for them to become the best of friends. Days turned into weeks, weeks to months and months to a year, and Y/N began to know Taehyung like the back of her hand and vice versa. So well that Y/N could easily tell what runs in his head while Taehyung easily noticed his best friend’s admiration for a certain boy in a hoodie and skateboard.

“Jeon Jungkook.” Taehyung had said out of the blue while they were having lunch in the cafeteria.

Y/N coughed, almost choking on her apple. “What?”

Taehyung grinned, which almost looked smug. “That guy you’ve been stealing glances at for—“ he pretended to count the time but rolled his eyes in the end. “Since we got here?” He jabbed a finger over his shoulder, pointing at the back of the cafeteria where a familiar face sat alone in a table, munching on a sandwich. “His name’s Jeon Jungkook. He’s in my Calculus.”

Y/N tried to look nonchalant, not wanting to tell Taehyung that she already knew his name. She might have stalked him in the library once and took the book he recently borrowed to know his name written on the library card.

“So?” She grumbled, but she could feel the heat creeping to her cheeks as she bit into her apple once more.

“What do you like about him?” Taehyung asked, but this time his tone sounded a lot less cheery.

“I don’t like him!”

“Oh really?” Y/N nodded vigorously. He smirked as he placed his chin on the palm of his hand. “So, you just like randomly staring at people with heart eyes?”

“And what if I do?”

“You don’t stare at me like that.”

Y/N looked at him then but before she could read his expression, the warning bell rang, implying that they needed to get back to class soon.

“I don’t like him.” She said with finality in her tone as she gathered her things and left. As he watched her go, Taehyung sighed, knowing she was lying.

They both were.

~~~

Jeon Jungkook was no one special.

That’s what Y/N had been trying to convince herself for the past year since she first saw him riding his skateboard freshman year. However, the more she saw of him, the more curious she got. It was only during the second semester of her sophomore year did she get the chance to actually talk to the guy... when they shared a table in the library.

“Is this seat taken?” He had asked and as Y/N looked up from the novel she was reading, her speech seem to escape her even when actual words were staring right at her in the face with the book she was holding. At least she managed to shake her head.

“Thanks.” He pulled up a chair opposite her and as he set the book he was holding down onto the table, she smiled when she caught sight of one of her favorite books: a collection of sonnets from the one and only, William Shakespeare. She didn’t peg Jungkook as the poetic type, and Y/N would be lying if she didn’t say it was a good surprise.

“That’s a good one.” She blurted out and when Jungkook looked up at her, she panicked; realizing she just said it out loud. “The book, I mean.”

“Um. Yeah. So, I was told.” He deadpanned before opening the book.

“The author is one of my favorites actually. I mean, he’s Shakespeare, what’s not to like—“

“Which I should be reading right about now.” Jungkook said, not daring to hide his annoyance. “Would be great if you can just let me read in peace.”

At his words, Y/N felt a pang in her chest, hurt for being shut down and a little irritated at his rudeness.

“Um… okay.” She said and that was that. That rude encounter didn’t diminish the burning flame she had for him, however. In fact, it only encouraged her to try harder.

~~~

PRESENT

“So, I did it. I told him I felt but—“ Jen sniffed, fingers idling on the hot cup of tea Y/N had just made for her.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N said while Jen shook her head.

“It was my fault, really. I already knew he was going to say no. He had shown nothing to reciprocate my feelings. Friendly but never too much. Nice but never enough to be a sign that he could like me.”

Y/N pressed her lips together, listening.

“But I still did it. I still did it because I couldn’t live my life keeping it a secret forever. I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know he had my heart the very first day and had hoped he felt the same way. And maybe that’s when I made a mistake. I decided to give my heart without thought or reason...I just... I decided to love.”

~~~

FLASHBACK

If Satan had a brother, Jeon Jungkook might as well take that title.

As the years passed, Y/N watched Jungkook get into several fights, receive a flurry of detention slips and get reprimanded by teachers at least a few times every day for not wearing his uniform right or failing to submit an assignment on time. There was even a time when he got called by the principal for being caught smoking within school grounds—one Y/N had noticed earlier that morning when she smelled smoke the moment he passed her in the hall. He even traded his skateboard for a motorcycle, now. One that definitely looked like it can take you to hell.

Jeon Jungkook came from being the quiet kid at the back of the class to the feared rebel who bullies younger students. He even formed his own gang—a bunch of delinquents he often hung out with in town. There was a Park Jimin whose known for being a notorious street fighter; a Min Yoongi who’s rumored to be the son of the owner of an underground gambling hub in Seoul and a Jung Hoseok, who everyone says has been in jail a few times due to his stealing habits.

Despite his bad reputation, Y/N still felt for him and she couldn’t understand why her heart decided to set its mark on a boy who’s obviously bad for her, who’s obviously going to break her heart in the end. But she figured, the heart wants what it wants.

“Y/N focus. You’re staring again.” Taehyung reminded as he tapped the text book in front of her with the rear end of his pencil. They were currently studying for finals and Taehyung (a.k.a the smartest student in their year) had volunteered to help her with her Math.

“I was not.” She grumbled as she returned to her solving the sample math problem he had given her.

“You so where.” Taehyung teased, glancing up briefly at the table to their left before adding, “What do you even see in that guy?”

Y/N had admitted to her best friend her long-time crush on the school’s notorious bad boy. The funny part was, Taehyung barely reacted when she told him, reasoning that she wasn’t the subtlest person out there.

Looking at it from a spectator’s point of view, it’s absurd that she would even want to be with the likes of Jungkook when her ‘crew’ involved valedictorians and class presidents, and her grades never really went lower than a B, but she figured feelings were uncontrollable little ers, and there’s just something about Jungkook that makes her feel alive.

“Plenty. He’s pre