Thunderclap…

You jumped at the sound of thunderclaps, the rain thrashing through your apartment windows, mimicking the tears falling down your cheeks. 

“You have to get rid of it.” He said and you closed your eyes, gripping your stomach as you hugged yourself. “But Kris—“ you gasped.

“We can’t, Y/N.” He said as he whirled to face you; lightning striking at the same time, creating an almost ghoulish silhouette on your boyfriend’s handsome form. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?” You asked and you tried to hide how hurt you were at his words. You didn’t think it would be so painful: hearing the father of the child you’re carrying say that he couldn’t take the responsibility. That he didn’t want to take it.

Kris sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You have to understand, Y/N. I can’t do this right now. I have a career going out for me. I have tours, promotions, albums launches—“ he sighed. “I’m at the peak here and this…” He pointed at your belly and the expression he made was of disgust and annoyance; like you were carrying a monster instead of a living, breathing human. ”—could ruin everything.”

More tears flowed from your eyes as the reality struck you, hard. He didn’t want your child. The cold hard truth being: He doesn’t want anything to do with the both of you. For all he cares, you’re only a hindrance to his career. 

A sudden ring sounded and Kris grabbed his phone from his back pocket to answer it. You watched him as he talked over the phone, wondering how he could be this cruel. You had dated Kris for almost two years now and the relationship ran smoothly. You were in love to the point that you actually believed he was the guy you were going to spend the rest of your life with. When you found out that you were pregnant, you were so happy. You were carrying inside of you the product of your love: a little you or even better… a little Yifan. 

But looking at him now, you wondered how things could suddenly turn upside down. You wondered if he ever loved you at all because to be quite frank, shouldn’t he be happy about this? Did he not dream of having a family with you as you exchanged promises of always and forever? Your heart clenched as you realized that no, he didn’t. When you were out thinking of your future together, Kris was thinking about his career and how it’ll go from here.

 And that was what hurt the most.  

Kris hung up and looked at you with a wary expression. “I have to go. They need me at the studio.”

You nodded as he left, leaving without another word then shutting the door behind him with a click. You covered your face with your hands, feeling your heart break into a million pieces. You glanced down to your stomach, caressing it ever so slightly; feeling the life growing inside of you. 

What am I going to do?

 ~~~

After tossing and turning in bed all night, you finally decided: Your baby was more important and you weren’t going to give it up. You were going to take care of it and if Kris didn’t want in then fine… You’ll raise the child on your own.

 Your sadness earlier that night was replaced by determination as you laid out in your mind of what to do next. You had a house in Busan, the place where your late grandmother lived, and you decided that it was a fairly good place to go and raise your child. You had thought about moving back to the U.S., where you were originally from, but you knew too well that it would probably be the first place Kris would be looking for you. If he ever decides to.

You knew it was unnecessary to move away but at the same time you thought it would be for the best. You didn’t think you could face the man who told you to get rid of your—his— own child. If he didn’t want it, then he didn’t want you, and you would gladly move away for you and your child, as well as his sake.

“He obviously doesn’t want us here.” you whispered to your belly as you packed your bags early the next morning. Kris was out the whole night and you knew he probably slept at the dorm. You sighed in relief when you looked out the window and found the curb missing of his car. He hasn’t returned and it was the perfect opportunity for you to leave.

You went out with your bags and boxes, stacking them at the backseat of your car. As you closed the door shut, you patted your coat and retrieved a single white envelope. At the front was Kris’ name written in your cursive handwriting. You climbed up to your apartment once again and slipped the letter underneath your door.

“Goodbye.” You mumbled before leaving for good.

~~~~ 

Four years later

“Umma! Can we get ice cream?” your daughter asked as she tugged at your sleeve. It was a cool autumn morning and you were going about your usual day to day routine: fixing up breakfast for you and your daughter Meili, taking her to school, then going straight to the bank where you worked, then back to the school in the afternoon to pick her up. You’ve been doing this for the past two years, working and taking care of Meili as a single mom. It was difficult at first with you having no experience of taking care of a baby and having to deal with finances and how to make a living for the both of you. The first year was the worse since you had to juggle two jobs and at the same time care for your one-year-old daughter. Then there was the fact that you were still on the grieving phase since breaking up with your long-time boyfriend Kris, the father of your daughter. No matter how much you wante