FUNPLKJGJCDTGFSSFSAQ GOSH!!!! I MET SOMEONE I THINK I WILL NEVER MEET HIM AGAIN I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME WHYYY??!!

Will l ever meet him again? I wonder how old he is (I will probably lose interest if he's younger than me, especially by years). I can't even remember his every feature, I can only remember a shade.

I couldn't even look at him properly I thought he'd wonder why I was staring so I kept glancing secretly from time to time.

Sure thing is that I don't remember being interested, trying to talk to and feeling the same way about any other guy since the first meeting before...

I don't know what this is...

I somehow feel guilty for this, but I really want my own romance to start already. I know already what I've been wishing for for years is so impossible, so delusional, so now I want something possible, something real. But I also don't want my delusions to stop. Not before I meet Tao at least (if I ever will)!

I'm so desperate *sighs* I can't stand this emptiness anymore. I want something to happen. But you know, if I was to choose between Tao and that guy (I mean if "Tao" was 'reachable'), I'd still choose Tao without any hesitation. I hate this feeling, wanting to choose someone, being aware that you love that person the most, but still not being able to choose him.

Forgive me for wanting something real, something possible. I feel guilty. But I want to get rid of this emptiness I've been feeling for years. I'v