From where to begin? The concert ended since hours and I couldn't write anything here until now, because I didn't know what exactly to write.

I was away from home and I went back in a hurry I arrived at 12:30 (Tunisia time) just when the concert was going to start. I spent the whole afternoon in my room, listening to the audio (the streaming didn't work for me), reading fan accounts, watching fancams... which caused me more problems with my family because I literally didn't talk to anyone since I got home, I didn't even have lunch.

From when it started until after it had even ended, I was crying. I have never cried this much in my entire life (maybe the only exception is when I had learned about Tao leaving exo, I cried the whole day because I lost all chances to see him).

I knew this day would be like this. I already was so depressed because of the concert since days and in the concert time it was even worse, I cried my eyes out the whole time. And then I had (I still have) a post-concert depression because it was Tao's first concert with only Hailangs and I was not there to attend it. But also because of something else....

I can't make a recap of all what happened during that time, there's sooo many things, but in few words: Tao was perfect, Tao was the king today. His voice, his songs, his new hair (even though I'm sad he changed the black so quickly), his outfits, the leopard print, his green eye contacts, his English, his baby pics, his pics with his mom, the blue HLs ocean (the color I wanted), how he didn't just use the playback, he kept singing although he was out of breath, he wanted to give everything to his HLs, the way he took selcas with them, he hugged them, he sang Kiss Goodbye... just... every little detail!

And the MV was finally released.

Oh the MV....

Tao fighting for his girl.

Bloody Tao being beaten, thrown into the ocean from an helycopter.

Tao.... kiss scenes... yes not just one 'scene'...

Tao.... bed scenes...

He was perfect. Sure. He was perfect. Even these scenes were perfect I can't lie. But he was.... T__T

I know I'm acting childishly again, I'm sorry about that, I don't want to be like that but this is more than what I can handle.  I knew about it but seeing it with my own eyes is harder, and I was expecting just one but he... exceeded my expectations.... after seeing the first one I started sobbing even harder, but then there were more and more and I just couldn't stop crying it was hard so hard and even now after hours, I'm writing all this with tears in the eyes.

I'm sorry about being this way, I'm sorry about acting this way, I should be only happy for Tao. I AM happy for him I truly am, and I'm so proud of him but I'm also so sad and depressed not just about this but also for some