My mind is a mess, my life is a mess, I am a mess. I was still sitting on the same bench, still thinking how Im not fine. And it finally got through me, I am not fine. But sometimes you go through this in your life, where you are not fine. It's normal. Doesn't make me a freak.

The fact that people were more happy than I was at this moment didn't really bother me anymore, I was jealous and kind of angry because they weren't at the peak of a breakup like I was. I watched as the happy people walked past me with real smiles on their faces. 

Time went by slowly, and I still didn't eat breakfast, but I didn't feel like eating. It was barely the first week with winter vacation and I already had problems. Christmas was next week, and I don't know how I would be spending it. Crap. Am I a loner? Appas are going to go out on their special trip, leaving me alone.  

I kicked my feet on the ground,"I shouldn't be depressed...this isn't my style." I laughed,"Im an idiot, talking to myself."

"You are not an idiot." I looked up,"Oh, Suho oppa." Suho smiled,"Mind if I sit with you?" I shook my head,"Go ahead."

He sat down and crossed his leg over the other one,"So I heard your....outburst?" I blushed,"I see...how embarassing. And you heard me talk to myself. Im a pabo."

"Oh, no, talking to yourself makes yous smarter. You looked horrible up there. I mean, emotionally. Is there something I could help you with? To talk?" Suho gently asked. I shook my head,"I better not...I mean, right now isn't the best time for me."

"So Luhan was right, you did something bad huh?" I gawked my head at him,"Did he tell everyone?" Suho nodded,"Well we are his friends, he needed help with what to do. He talked it out."

"What did he say!?" I asked, I bit my lip,"I mean...you don't have to tell me."

Suho laughed,"Luhan was hurt. But he called himself stupid. A lot actually. And he got drunk. Which is why Im bringing him some tylenol." Suho held up a white paper bag.

My eyes widened,"He got drunk?! Bwoh?! I didn't even get to see him drunk yet! Omo, what do I do?! I have to make him some porridge! His throat must be hurting badly! You shouldn't make him eat anything solid!"

I stood up,"Omo, aish pabo Luhan!!" Lost for words I sat back down next to Suho and pouted,"I feel so bad...but why did he call himself a pabo?" Suho cocked his head to the side,"Well something about breaking a promise. Between you two I guess since you said so earlier...you know what! I actually have something to do right now. Can you bring this to your boyfriend for me?"

Suho held out the bag. I looked at them and shook my head,"We're practically over." Suho looked at me with raised eyebrows,"Bwoh? What? When? Who said?"

"Sehun told me that he told Luhan to break up with me..." I sighed,"Luhan probably thinks so too."

Suho clucked his tongue,"Aish, don't listen to the brat. He didn't even say anything like that. He was the one who tried to convince Luhan to not get mad at you. What is wrong with that kid, I will never know." 

"So go to him." Suho asked with a little push,"Go." He handed me the bag. I took it in my hands, I carried it closer to me like it was fragile. I truly smiled at Suho,"Thanks oppa." I hugged him,"Thank you so much" Suho laughed,"Go already I'll text you the address." I nodded and ran at the speed of light. I'll make it up to you Luhan. 

I stopped by the market to by some stuff for porridge. Suho texted me Luhan's address. It was a simple looking apartment complex. "Third floor...room 12C..." I walked up the stairs until I reached his floor. I went down all the way to his door. Here goes nothing...

I knocked on his door and looked down. The door opened,"Hyung you're so late- Sumin?" Luhan whispered, obviously he wasn't expecting me. I smiled at him,"H-hey Luhan...Suho oppa told me to come. He was busy..." I cleared my throat,"May I come in?" 

Luhan looked like he just woke up, he was only wearing his bottom pants. Act calm Sumin...it's not the first time you saw Luhan half . Luhan looked me over, with his arm leaning against the door. 

I blushed,"Y-yah quit staring at me will you..." He snapped out of his daze and stepped aside. He didn't say anything and I waltzed passed him. His apartment is regular and neat. Warm, just like him. "I didn't know you were coming..." He said scratching his bedhead. 

I giggled,"I heard you had quite the party. Did you have a hangover?" I joked a little. Luhan didn't laugh or smile,"Yeah. I guess." The awkwardness is too much to handle. "Did you eat?" I asked.

Luhan shook his head,"No." I smiled,"Same here actually...I'll cook for us." Luhan stopped and looked at me,"What? Cook?" I nodded,"I can cook simple porridge Luhan. Your throat must be burning, so rice porridge is the best for you to eat."

Luhan just kept staring at me. "Luhan, seriously stop staring at me." I pouted,"So can I borrow your kitchen?" I didn't wait for his answer and went there. I unpacked the stuff I got and placed them all on the counter. 

Luhan walked closer and stared away again. At least he's talking to me. I smiled. Im in Luhan's apartment, and he won't stop staring. "Luhan go sleep or something, I won't do anything to kill us both. Go rest." I shooed him away.

He gave me a blank look but walked away to a room,  his bedroom probably, and closed the door. This is awkward. I pouted.

I diced up some spring onions, carrots, garlic, and cabbage. Donghae appa taught me how to make this saying I should at least know this much for my future children. I rolled my eyes at that memory,"Pabo appa, making me look so stupid."

I placed some cooked rice into a pot and put in some chicken broth. I started to stir the porridge till it became thick to my liking. I poured the congee in a bowl and placed the carrots, spring onions, garlic, and cabbage on top of the porridge. I placed some pickled tofu as a side dish and placed everything on a tray. 

I poured some water in a glass and placed the tylenol next to it. Carrying to super heavy tray to his room and placing it next to the wall, I knocked softly and peaked my head inside. 

The windows to his room were opened a bit, bring the fresh cool breeze in. Luhan was laying on his bed, still half , asleep peacefully. I grabbed the tray and tip-toed my way in. I made sure to be very careful and walk super slow. I placed the tray down on his desk. 

I sighed with a accomplished smile. I turned my head and watched Luhan sleep. I squatted next to him and soothed out his hair. "Im sorry Luhan, but I didn't mean to hurt you. I told SM that I canceled, but they didn't tell Taemin, so he came without knowing. I told him I didn't want to go, but he thought we could just hangout as friends. I tried calling you but you wouldn't answer. You said it was on silent. I was trying to tell you, but I failed at doing so. Im sorry..." I kissed his soft lips and smiled,"I love you Luhan, feel better..." I whispered.

Should I go or stay to watch him? My stomach growled and my hands went to my stomach,"Aish pabo tummy. Stop growling like a monster, you'll wake up sleeping Luhan." I lightly scolded my stomach. 

But my stomach did not listen and kept talking. "Ok ok, I am leaving already geez." I pouted and turned to go to the door. 

A warm hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a familiar warm, soft body,"Where do you think your going?"
 

dream of that amazing lip bite...oh god :">