Cry inside my car, that’s all I can do after that incident with Kyuhyun.

 

          I hated myself for running away and for feeling this way. Never mind how many years I haven’t seen him, he still has the same effect on me. Anger burn inside me and I wanted to scream at him for hurting me but I can’t do that. Even saying the things I wanted to say to him scares me and I hated him for telling something so logical because he’s right: I can’t run away from him forever. One day the last thread of patience will snap and we have to face each other.

 

          I’m such a loser.

 

          I wiped my tears and drive myself to the only place that calms me whenever I feel down. It was this first beach you will see out of Seoul and this is where I gather back my thoughts. It felt peaceful as I parked my car on the side watching the water find its way to the shore.

 

          I wanted to be brave and face him but every time I look at him, anger and hurt stir inside me like a venomous snake. It was just too much and I can’t comprehend how he can easily talk to me like as if nothing had happened between us.

 

Did he think that I will forget?

 

          I shook my head and tried to forget about him but then as I look at this peaceful beach, I remember that it was the same place we used to go to back when we were still together. This is the place where I always ran away whenever we had our petty fights and he will come and do things to make me smile. Remembering those memories doesn’t make me feel any better.

 

          I revved up the engine of my car and went home straight where I soaked myself in a hot bath trying to forget everything.

 

          I wake up next morning with a horrible headache from crying all night. I even woke up with the nightmare of him leaving me again and again. I pushed myself off the bed and got ready. Today I will have to meet with the only girl group I will be working with, SNSD. At least will not be seeing any of Kyuhyun today so, I can still cover for my slip yesterday.

 

          I grabbed a cup of coffee on a nearby café before getting inside of the building. I was informed that SNSD were in their dorm room on the 19th floor, so I went up there without further ado.

 

          I knocked on the door and no one was answering. I waited for a solid ten minutes and I was about to leave when door finally opened, revealing a beautiful girl in front of me.

 

          “Annyeonghaseyo.” she smiled. “Mianheyeo for waiting, I was in the shower.”

 

          “Annyeong.” I smiled.

 

          She surprised me by taking my hand and pulling me inside. “Are you the fashion consultant they were talking about?”

 

          “Neh.” I nodded.

 

          “Kya~ it’s true.” she squealed.

 

          I laughed at her exuberance. “Where are your friends?”

 

          “They’re still asleep.” she smiled and then slapped her forehead suddenly. “Mianhe I am being so rude. Im Yoona, imnida.”

 

          “Tae Hee imnida.” I said handing out my hand.     

 

          “I am so excited to meet you.” she blurted out. “You’re so beautiful in person.”

 

          I blushed. “You’re beautiful too.”

 

          “Are you in a hurry, Unnie?” she asked.

 

          “Not really.” I said thoughtfully.

 

          “I haven’t had breakfast.” she said. “Do you want to eat outside?”

 

          I frowned. “Are you allowed to go out?”

 

          “Neh.” Yoona nodded. “We’ll be going just a few blocks.”

 

          “What about your friends?” I asked as I watch her get her things.

 

          “I’ll leave a note that we will meet them at the studio later.” she smiled looking at me expectantly.

 

          “Oh, alright then.” I smiled, unable to refuse her happy aura.

 

          We walk a few blocks from the SME building towards a simple looking breakfast place. She ordered Kimchi and other foods as she starts telling me all about SNSD. I was surprised because I really like her. She’s funny and doesn’t pretend that much.

 

          “So is it fun?” I asked her.

 

          “Being an idol?” she asked and I nodded. “Neh.”

 

          “I guess it is or you wouldn’t last this long.” I laugh to myself.

 

          She nodded. “I am happy because I get to do what I love, dancing and singing, and I can travel too.”

 

          “Have you been to Japan?”I asked.

 

          “Many times.” Yoona beamed at me. “You live there right?”

 

          “Neh.” I chuckled. “It is a great country.”

 

          “Why do you prefer to live there?” she asked full of curiosity. “Mianhe, for asking something so private.”

 

          I shook my head. “It’s okay. I just have to leave Korea because of something, that’s all and when I went there I feel like staying for good.”

 

          “But you’re here now.” she giggled. “Are you going to stay?”

 

          “I’m not sure.” I said truthfully.

 

          On that moment Yoona’s cellphone rang and she excused herself to answer the call. She stammered a few explanations over the phone before ending it.

 

          “They were looking for us.” she giggled.

 

          “We should go.” I said taking my bag as Yoona paid for the bill. “And next time the tab is on me.”

 

          She laughed. “Neh, Unnie.”

 

          We went to the studio where they were rehearsing some of the songs they will perform. The clothes that I asked Seo Hyo to prepare are already there. Yoona introduced them to me one by one.

 

          “Oh, she’s really here.” Sooyoung said happily.

 

          “Aish~ where did you take her Yoona?” Jessica asked.

 

          “Unnie!” Sunny said giving me a big hug, which I appreciated. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

          “I just took her out for breakfast since you were all asleep.” Yoona explained.

 

          “You kidnapped her.” Taeyeon said.

 

          “Aniyo.” Yoona pouted.

 

          I broke the discussion by saying. “Don’t blame her. I went willingly.”

 

          “We were so excited to meet you.” they gushed.  

 

          “Me too.” I smiled. “They say you were really good.”

 

          “Neh.” Sunny nodded and they all laughed.

 

          “When did you forget to be modest?” Jessica asked.

 

          I laughed. “Let’s work together, arasso?”

 

          “Neh.” they nodded.

 

 

          I asked them to wear the clothes I have designed for them and I took out my handy notebook to make some notes on how it fitted them. I need to make some adjustments to the other clothes and some weren’t just right for them. They worked with me quite well and they have no qualms with taking on and off their clothes. I guess being a girl and in an industry like this they already understand that clothes are a must in their performances.

 

          “Unnie, did you design all these?” Sunny inquired and I nodded.

 

          “Do you wear your own designs?” Hyeoyon asked.

 

          I smiled because they were like little kids asking different questions. “Neh.”

 

          “Aish~ we should see you in your own creation.” Yuri quipped.

 

          “Neh, I bet you’ll be stunning.” Jessica said and I thanked her.

 

          I really thought I will have a little problem with her because when I reviewed the profile of them I learned that she was being called many names like Ice Princess because of her attitude but so far none of that has come out. If Jessica did show her attitude it won’t be a problem because fortunately I have worked with many divas before.

 

          “We saw you on many magazines.” Tiffany said.

 

          I wondered what they were talking about. “Jinjja?”

 

          “Neh, Unnie.” Yoona said as she checks the other clothes. “And we were kind of wondering why you don’t have a boyfriend yet.”

 

          I frowned. Back in Japan I was often asked those questions. “I guess I haven’t met the right person for me.”

 

          “Really?” Sooyoung asked.

 

          Well, I thought I did find him but then I was wrong.

 

          I smiled tightly. “Neh.”

 

          “No worries.” Taeyeon smiles mischievously. “You will find many handsome boys in SME.”

 

          “Neh.” they giggled.

 

          “Aish~ you were naughty girls.” I teased.

 

          Sunny grabbed my hand and said seriously. “We’ll help you find one.”

 

          “She’s our happy pill.” Yuri said to my ear.

 

          I pinched Sunny in the cheeks. “Arasso, dongsaengie.”

         

          I continued to take notes and I even asked them if they have some clothes in their mind. They rattled me with their own dream clothes to wear and I told them that I will try to incorporate them with my designs for them.

 

          “You can give me a sketch of the clothes you like.” I suggested off handedly.

 

          Their answer is a surprised and excited: “Jinjja?”

 

          I laughed because their eyes were shining in delight. I guess they don’t often get to choose what they want. “Neh.”

 

          “Unnie you’re so cool.” Yoona said jumping up and down.

 

          “Ah I have an idea.” Jessica said. “We should give her a welcome party.”

 

          “Mou?” I asked. “There’s no need for that.”

         

          Apparently they weren’t listening to me because they were now all excited to form the party.

 

          “We should have a party here at the dorm.” Tifanny said. “Let’s invite the boys.”

 

          “Neh, we should.” Sooyoung nodded. “And then we can have an exclusive pajama party.”

 

          They giggled. “Neh!”

 

          “Promise you’ll come, Unnie.” Sunny pleaded.

         

          They were all looking at me expectantly and I could just say no. Besides it has been ages since I allowed myself to indulge in my social life. Back in Japan it was pure work and nothing more. It wouldn’t hurt if I enjoy my stay here, right.

         

         
          “Arasso.” I laughed and they cheered. “I don’t think I can get away with you all.”

 

          “Is it true that you’re friends with SHINee’s maknae?” Yuri asked.

 

          “Taemin?” I frowned. “Neh.”

 

          “Cool.” Sunny commented.

 

          “Wae?” I asked curiously.

 

          Taeyeon laughed. “He’s such an energetic boy.”

 

          “Neh.” I agreed.

 

          I chatted with them for a while even though I know I have to go home now to work on my other personal project but I find it hard to do because I really like their company.

 

          “Who’s f(x)?” I asked when I remembered the other racks of clothes back in the clothes room.

 

          “Another group from SME.” Yoona who’s nearest explained. “Jessica’s sister is a member.”

 

          “They were really jealous.” Jessica joked.

 

          “Wae?” I asked confused.

 

          “They wanted to work with you too.” Sunny smiled.

 

          “Oh.” I nodded absentmindedly.

 

          “Have you met SJ?” Jessica asked.

 

          SJ? Oh right, Super Junior. “Neh.”

 

          “Who do you like?” they asked and I blushed.

 

          “Aish~ why are you suddenly asking things like that?” I demanded.

 

          “They were all good looking.” Yuri giggled.

 

          “Oh you and Leeteuk oppa will look good.” Tifanny said excitedly.

 

          “He’s too old for her.” Jessica commented.

 

          “Heechul oppa likes someone else.” Hyeoyeon said.

 

 

          They were all suggesting someone and I couldn’t help but laugh. They were playing cupids with me and even suggesting boys from SHINee and I couldn’t help but shake my head.

 

          “Well, everyone is available except for one boy from SUJU.” Yuri said mischievously and that caught my attention.

         

          I rack my brain for the name of the boy they didn’t suggested to me but before I can even get there the door of the studio opened and I caught my breath. It was Cho Kyuhyun standing in the door way.

 

          I frowned. Why is he here?

 

          I got my answer almost immediately.

 

          “Oppa!” Yoona said excitedly and ran to Kyuhyun’s arms.

 

          I felt a little stab in my gut when I saw how Yoona hugged and kissed Kyuhyun in the cheek.

 

          “That is the boy who’s not available.” Sunny giggled. “Kyuhyun oppa, Yoona-ssi’s boyfriend.”

 

          I stared as Kyuhyun held her absentmindedly in his arms. He was looking at me, probably surprised to see me.

 

          “Oppa, you know Tae Hee already, right?” Yoona asked.

 

          I met Kyuhyun’s eyes and I saw him nod. I grabbed my bag and they all looked at me.

 

          “Where are you going, Unnie?” Sunny asked.

 

          I smiled at her with a little difficulty. “I forgot that I have some important errands to do.”

 

          “Aish~ mianheyeo.” Jessica said. “We were selfish keeping you here.”

 

          “Aniyo.” I said hurriedly. “It’s okay.”

 

          “You’ll be at the pajama party right?” Yoona asked as I went past them with Kyuhyun rigid by her side.

 

          I nodded and mumbled a yes anything to get me faster away from the room. “I should go, bye.”

         

          I should have known.