There are many things that surprised me this morning. One, when I woke up and looked for breakfast, I noticed that I am running out of cereals. I must say that I love eating cereals; I even grew a habit of eating cereals for dinner which is inappropriate. Two, I noticed that I’m running out of banana milk for Taemin. I don’t know why I am bothered by this simple things but I guess my mind is not yet functioning given the fact that I started my day at three o’clock in the morning.

                I got surprised again when I stepped inside SNSD’s dorm and Sunny greeted me. She’s wearing an oversized varsity jacket and shorts. And her hair…

                “Unnie!” she beamed at me. “It’s been a while, we missed you!”

                I blinked at her. “Sunny-ah, what happened to your hair?”

                Sunny touched her hair absentmindedly. “Wae? Does it look bad?”

                “Aniyo…” I answered, shaking my head. Sunny’s hair is now blonde and it was cut short, just below her ears.

                “It’s for the concept of our new album.” she explained.

                I nodded. “Oh, arasso. I was just surprised; I love your long hair.”

                “It will grow back.” she laughed.

                I ambled towards the kitchen where the girls were just starting to eat.

                “Annyeong~” I greeted them.

                “Unnie!” Yuri beamed.

                “Aigoo~ we missed you.” Tiffany pouted.

                “Jeongmal?” I laughed. “Well, I guess we’ll be working together today.”

                Today, the girls will be posing for a beauty commercial and the clothes will be sponsored by me from the unreleased collection for my clothing line. My clothing line wouldn’t be established yet for the next eight months because I’m still arranging where my store will be located. This deal to promote my clothing line together with a beauty company was organized by the president of SME and I consented to it since SNSD will be posing.

                “We’re so excited for this.” Taeyeon exclaimed.

                “Neh.” Yoona agreed. “I mean this is your creation, Unnie.”

                I smiled at them. “I know you’ll do great. The clothes will be just fine because of your natural beauties.”

                We were on the site for the photo shoot and the girls were being dolled-up. I talked with the photographer, asking me if I have a specific lighting effect to suggest but I just told him I want my clothes to be presented as best as possible.

                I fussed about the clothes while the girls were busy preparing. I choose every single dress with care from all the designs I made, making sure that it will favor their looks.

                When the pictorial starts, I couldn’t help but be proud on how they gracefully presented themselves. I was drawn particularly with how Yoona looks. She’s wearing a midnight blue sequined dress and it made her look like a goddess, with her figure and smile, I know that she will be the one to stand out.

                I cannot help but think that she will capture every man’s heart out there that will see her. Then again she has already captured Kyuhyun’s heart. With that thought, I tear my gaze away from them.

                “That was awesome!” Sooyoung gushed as the pictorial come to an end.

                “Did you have a good time?” I asked which made me sound like a real unnie.

                They all nodded and they requested for me to pose with them. I agreed with a laugh because I know I couldn’t decline their request.

                “I’m going to upload it later.” Sunny said.

                “Aigoo~ my heels are killing me but at least I’m wearing an amazing dress.” Jessica mused beside me.

                “You’re all painstakingly beautiful, did you know that?” I laughed.

                “Only because you made us wear you designs.” they countered.

                I laughed. “Aigoo~”

                I spent another afternoon with Yoona that day. We found ourselves wandering at the mall to shop for some clothes in one of the biggest malls in Seoul. It was fun and exciting at the same time because we’re on disguise. We wore plain clothes and no make-up and no one were stopping us every five minutes.

                We were eating yogurt on a small stall discussing fashion when Yoona spotted an interesting dress.

                “Unnie, look at that!” she said pointing at the store across from where we’re eating.

                I turned and saw what she’s talking about.

                “It’s beautiful!” she sighed dreamily.

                “Do you like that dress?” I asked.

                “Neh but I think it will be more beautiful if the cut is longer.” she mused.

                I smiled because our brain was in the same path. “It will be a gown then.”

                “Like a wedding gown.” Yoona said.

                I winced at the word remembering Maria’s wedding. No wonder I am familiar with the dress.

                “I hope I can wear a beautiful dress like that on my wedding day!” Yoona exclaimed, completely absorbed with her day dreaming that she missed my painful expression.

Yoona sighed, not waiting for me to answer. “Oh! Maybe you can design my wedding dress unnie and I’m sure you can do Kyuhyun oppa’s tuxedo.”

               I was frozen in my seat. An image suddenly strike me, Kyuhyun walking with Yoona down the aisle. I should’ve seen that coming but it still hits me like a punch in the gut. Of course they will be married someday, what am I expecting? But hearing it from Yoona’s point of view, no matter how innocent it sounds coming from her, the realization is still unnerving.

                “Unnie, what’s wrong?” Yoona asked when she noticed my silence. “Gwenchanna?”

                “I don’t design gowns for that occasion.” I replied my voice flat.

                Yoona looked at me questioningly. “You don’t like wedding dresses?”

                I shake my head. “Don’t; don’t use the ‘w’ word.”

                “Eh?” Yoona blinked, clearly confused.

                “You know…the word wedding,” I mumbled half-heartedly.

                “Wae?” she asked putting down her spoon.

                I ignored her question and tried to focus on my yogurt. After a few minutes of silence I felt Yoona touched my arm and when I looked up she’s wearing an apologetic expression.

                “Mianhe, Unnie.” she mumbled. “I know I’ve said something upsetting.”

                I sighed. “Aniyo…it’s fine. It’s not your fault, I just…”

                “It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me.” Yoona smiled a little. “I understand.”

                I nodded giving her a thankful smile for not pushing me to answer and for the first time we were silent. I just looked away trying to count the people passing by. I know I should’ve just shut my mouth and accepted Yoona’s offer not to talk about it considering that it involves his boyfriend which is my ex-fiancé but I started talking anyway.

                Maybe I needed to talk about it.

                “I’m supposed to be married three years ago.” I blurted out still looking away and out of the corner of my eye I saw Yoona’s surprised face.

                “It was a beautiful day and my wedding is planned for months.” I continued. “I designed my own gown and even my groom’s clothes. They said I’m the most beautiful bride but my groom didn’t arrive, just a letter left for me.”

                Yoona looked at me sympathetically. “Unnie, I don’t know what to say…”

                I laughed bitterly. “That’s why I hate weddings…”

                “I shouldn’t have asked…” she mumbled.

                I shook my head, telling her that it wasn’t her fault. We didn’t talked about it after that and when I lay down in my bed that night there was this dull ache I couldn’t get off my chest, causing me to stay up all night.